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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
WhySoSerious? Offline
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Name: Vicki
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Guilt... - January 24th 2009, 06:10 PM

I haven't cut for months now... like 3 months, I'd been doing so good for so long now, and the other day I just caved and did it... only a bit but still =/ I felt so guilty afterwards, and that's what's been stopping me for so long is this sense of guilt. And after I did it I felt even more miserable because of how bad I felt about it...

I don't even know why I feel so guilty but I need to make it stop It only makes me more depressed, and then I come up with worse and worse ideas... >_<



~Where death is I am not, where I am death is not, so we never meet~


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Ellie Offline
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Re: Guilt... - January 24th 2009, 06:33 PM

Hey Vicki, it's so hard when you slip up after being free for such a long time as, like you've said, it leaves you feeling any lower than before. But try and ask yourself, why do you feel guilty? Because you slipped? Because that's what you did. You had a slip up, and honestly, slip ups are what makes you human! We all make those mistakes, but that doesn't determine who we are. I know it's easy to say pick yourself up and try again, but you don't have to start from the beginning again. If I'm keeping track of how long I've been self harm free, I do it as a ratio. Say I've been 21 days SH free and I slip on the 22nd, I'll say that I've been 21/22 days SH free. Personally, I feel less guilty for counting it that way, because it still recognises my achievement. Do you know what I mean? Please don't feel guilty about being a human, and finding things difficult. You're still doing such a good job, and if you want to talk about what made you cut, please know we're here for you. Take care.

   
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HybridMoon Offline
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Re: Guilt... - January 24th 2009, 11:56 PM

Don't feel guilty. Keep an upbeat, positive attitude! You're only human. Relapses are alright, because the important thing is that you are trying your very hardest to stop. Just tell yourself that you had a really long run, and you'll do even better next time. You could even turn it into a sort of game if you want to. This time you lasted 3 months. Next time, aim for something higher. An when you beat your target date, reward yourself with something nice. Because you certainly deserve it.

Some helpful tips- Whenever you feel the urge coming on, be it stress or depression or boredom or whatever, keep your hands busy. Turn your harm into something useful. You can practice drawing, writing, sewing, or even just going out for a bikeride or a nice brisk walk. After that exercise you'll feel better.


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Re: Guilt... - January 25th 2009, 11:59 AM

Hey-

Things happen, it sucks, but it's true. You're going to get through this. We're all here to support you.

Instead of starting over with your count, why don't you say "I've been self harm free 90 days out of 91" Or however many days it is. It's really discouraging to have to start your count over again, and for some people it makes them lose their motivation. Don't let that happen with you. (Edit: I just realized Ellie already said this. So I agree with her!)

Good luck! And just keep moving forward. It was a relapse yeah, but don't let it pull you down.

Maria.



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