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-   -   Triggering (SH): please help me understand (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t28047-please-help-me-understand/)

angie4 October 16th 2009 10:30 PM

please help me understand
ok so im 18 and I just moved out of my parents house into my own single apartment a couple months ago. yesterday I had to get my wisdom teeth removed. well I needed someone to help take care and my parents werent my number 1 choice because we dont have a great relationship but I had no other choice. within hours of being in their house my step mom and I started arguing. I made myself something to eat and within seconds of getting done using the pan my step mom cleaned it. yeah that was nice of her but she wasnt doing it out of generosity. she is a clean freak and nags me and gives me the 3rd degree about everything! its so annoying! :sad: I really wouldnt have minded but I wasnt done using it. so I told her that and instead of saying im sorry. yeah you are right it was rude of me, I should have asked you etc no instead she goes off on this rant. "I want this, I need this, I have to do this, I cant being doing this" etc. it really wouldnt bother me so much but she doesnt use anything else other than I, she does nothing but talk about herself. she doesnt care about anyone else, she can never think about someone else and put them first. its so annoying! well my dad is also the same way. he works night shift. at 5 in the morning he comes home. and guess what he does?! out of all the tvs in our house he had to turn the one on in the living where I was sleeping. he then starts pulling the covers off me. :sad: I self harm and I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. if he would have pulled it all the way I am pretty sure he would have finally realized that I sh because although there is millions of pieces of evidence he still fails to see and know the truth about my sh. thankfully I was some what awake and was able to pull the cover back over me before he saw any of my scars. he starts yelling "I need the remote! where is the remote?" once again there it is, I. why is he so selfish? I just had surgery and he is pulling the covers off of me and waking me up to find a remote to the tv in the room that I am sleeping in when he could in fact go to another room and watch tv. I dont understand! why does he hate me? :sad: what did I ever do to him to make him hate me and be so heartless towards me? I attempt to fall back to sleep and the next thing I know my brother wakes up to get ready for school, understandable but him and my dad start talking about what was on tv. I decide to get up to take my pain medication in hopes that it would knock me out so I can block out all the noise and also help me to get more comfortable so I can fall back to sleep. Does anyone so hey are you ok? can I get you anything? you dont have to get up, let me get it for you. no! :sad: of course not, instead what they do is they turn the tv up louder and they turn on the light! while I am trying to sleep! at this point I had enough and I started packing my stuff to leave. I thought someone would object or at least help me because it was raining and im not suppose to drive under the medication. but no! so thats what I did. I left at 7 am, less than 24 hours after my surgery and drove myself home. :sad: I dont understand! why does my family hate me so much, what did I do wrong? :sad:

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