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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
xxxskittlesxxx Offline
helloooo :D
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Name: Sophie
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: york

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Join Date: January 6th 2009

i broke it =[ - January 25th 2009, 02:32 PM

8 months gone! i'm a failure!
thaught i'd never self harm again!
why me?
thanks alot mother! your the best
so now what? what am i supposed to do? will i fall into the same routine of self harm all over again?
my counsellors gonna be so dissapointed! all this time without SH'ing.
maybe i wont tell her.
i dont know who i am anymore

You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,


imi , sophie , me
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
*Jen* Offline
keep smiling :-)
Outside, huh?
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Re: i broke it =[ - January 25th 2009, 04:03 PM

Hey Sophie,
Firstly, 8 months is amazing! That is such an achievement to go that long without self harm. You really are strong, because that can't have been easy at all. I think you should be proud of yourself for how long you went without self harm. I can understand how bad you must feel right now for self harming, because I went 10 months without self harm and then gave in. It is a horrible feeling. But you only slipped up and I guess you can't change that now so you have to focus towards the future. You have come so far and you managed to stop for a whole 8 months, which means you can stop! I think what matters now is how you move on from this. There is no point in beating yourself up about it because it has happened now. You do have choices Sophie, and you don't have to fall into the routine of self harm. Your counsellor won't be disappointed with you with you; she will more that likely want to help you with what triggered you to self harm and so you can cope with it better next time. Do be honest with your counsellor because she is only there to help you and she can't help unless she knows. Don't give up :-)
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
ForeverAutumn* Offline
together, we are infinite.
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Re: i broke it =[ - January 25th 2009, 04:22 PM

I forget where - it might've been somewhere here - but a couple of months ago, I read about a different method of counting the days SH free. Let's say you go 21 days without hurting yourself and slip up on the 22nd day. You can think to yourself, there's 21 days gone, or you can think of it this way, you went 21/22 days without it. You said it's been eight months since you last hurt yourself - that's truly amazing. Don't see yourself as a failure now. 8 months is about....240 days, right? Somewhere around there, at any rate. So, you went 240/241 days without hurting yourself. Isn't that an incredible achievement?

Be honest with your counselor. She won't be disappointed, because you've been fighting. Whether you slip up or not isn't what matters, it's whether or not you tried. You went 8 months, this time try for 9 months or even a year.

I know what you mean about not knowing if you'll fall into the routine of it again. But if you want it enough, if you want to stay SH free, you won't fall back to it. We make a lot of choices in life, little decisions like what to eat for breakfast, but we also make big ones - like the kind of person we want to be, or whether to let something like SH take over again. If you chose not to let it take over again, if you chose to fight it - chances are? You won't fall back to it. Because when you want something badly enough, it'll happen.

Let me know if you want to talk. Take care of yourself.

how could anyone ever tell you, you are anything less than beautiful?| PM Me
self-harm free since 06.10.11.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Katieee Offline
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Re: i broke it =[ - January 26th 2009, 04:13 PM

Hey hun,
It's OK. Everyone has slip-ups. It wouldn't be recovery if we didn't have slip ups. Well done on 8 months, that's really amazing! Keep going. I would talk to your counsellor about it though, she's there to help you.

"You'll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind."
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