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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Fieryfxcker Offline
Eternally Yours.
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Name: Jasmine.
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I want to... - January 25th 2009, 03:05 PM

Cut, cut cut. Over and over again.
Never stop.
Destroy the body i'm so familiar with.
The body I completely hate... despise.
Watch the blood fall around me, go numb from all the pain.
I can do it... it never hurts me anymore.
Go over the old scar tissue.
Push it in deep, slide across quickly.
Across, sideways, up, down, diagonally. Anyway possible.
Blade goes blunt... then i'll find another blade. Use Something else.
I want to dig it into my face. Stab it into my arms.
Tear up my legs.
I hate this body, its so separate from me.
So disgusting... hideous.
Punish myself. Over and over. Keep doing it. You deserve this Jasmine.
Deserve the pain, the scars, the blood loss everything.
I don't care about you anymore Jasmine.
I hate this Jasmine person. She must die. Die die die fucking die.
Or be destroyed. Thats right.
Worthless, piece of dirt. A stupid little sown up ragdoll, tossed around and left to rot.
I hate you Jasmine. I really do... i hate you argghhh.


*I'm a slow dying flower, in the frost-killing hour, turning sour and untouchable.*


Last edited by Perplexity; January 25th 2009 at 03:33 PM. Reason: Due to some of the content in this thread that might be triggering to some users, I have marked this thread triggering.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Confused Offline
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Re: I want to... - January 25th 2009, 03:27 PM

Nice writing talent. Why should Jasmine die?
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Fieryfxcker Offline
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Re: I want to... - January 25th 2009, 03:30 PM

Because Jasmine is horrible and worthless. No one likes her.
And im unfortunate to live within her.
Shes an idiot. Really is. Is no good to no one.


*I'm a slow dying flower, in the frost-killing hour, turning sour and untouchable.*

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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Fieryfxcker Offline
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Re: I want to... - January 25th 2009, 03:39 PM

Hello blade, sitting in my hand.
Your going to be useful to me today.
Part of you is shiny, yet the other is bloodstained.
So thin, so sharp. You've been waiting for this.
To run across my skin, over and over again.
Sometimes making no marks, other times leaving scars.
You pierce my skin, and you let the blood escape.
I feel nothing. I just watch you do it again and again.
It's like your in control, taken over me. I cannot seem to stop watching you.
Blood falls and hits my clothes.
Yet you still continue to jab, stab and tear at my skin.
Skin you're so familiar to seeing, so familiar to destroying.

'Come on Jasmine. More more. Deeper, deeper.'
'You deserve this. You failed yet another task today.'
'Thats it, watch your blood drip, slide slowly downwards.'
'Its so separate from you, it doesn't belong to you.'
'Yet another day you have to endure tomorrow. If you don't suceed this
time.'
'You will do this over and over again. Every single day.'
'You are so worthless. Jasmine, your hopeless'
'Look the world seems to give up on you.'
'Listen to me Jasmine. Listen to every word I have to say.'
'You split up your family. You ruined their lives.'
'Your failing in school, and letting your friends down.'
'Your hideous, your monsterous and your murderous'
'You don't deserve to be here Jaz.'
'Jasmine, no one would notice if you died.'
'Jasmine go on. Take one more step.'


*I'm a slow dying flower, in the frost-killing hour, turning sour and untouchable.*

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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Fieryfxcker Offline
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Re: I want to... - January 25th 2009, 03:50 PM

its done. i did it.
but somehow, its not good enough.
voice in my head says more more more!
its getting angry...


*I'm a slow dying flower, in the frost-killing hour, turning sour and untouchable.*

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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Fieryfxcker Offline
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Re: I want to... - January 25th 2009, 04:20 PM

im sorry.
i dont know who i am anymore.
i cant control the voice.
sometimes he takes over me...
and writes things without me having control.


*I'm a slow dying flower, in the frost-killing hour, turning sour and untouchable.*

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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
StarCrossedKid Offline
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Re: I want to... - January 25th 2009, 05:22 PM

Its OK you don't have to appolagize. What your going through now is mighty tough. There is most likely a new day far from now that is better. But for now all you can do is roll with the punches and see where it takes you. I don't want you to cut though.


"With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come."
   
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love__me Offline
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Re: I want to... - January 25th 2009, 05:38 PM

same here, I wish i could just make everything go away. Tomorrow is another day, a nother fresh start.


You are beautiful just the way you are.
Looking like a fallen star.
Don't listen to what people say.
They don't know the real you, anyways.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Fieryfxcker Offline
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Re: I want to... - January 25th 2009, 06:11 PM

Hmm.
Darkness is coming for me, left right and centre.
Its going to swallow me up, hence not being able to see past the present day.
Soon i'll be trapped in this thick, black, slient darkness. Unable to escape.
I'm dying inside, wilting away.
Each and every shattered piece of me, continues to shatter smaller.
Until the pieces can no longer be seen.
I'm fading away.
I can no longer be seen as the life and soul.
But just as the walking dead of day.
I'll be wide awake, in the dead of the night.
Sitting amongst the grass and trees.
Breeze blowing through my hair, staring at the stars.
Wishing to no longer be here.
To no longer cause the pain, and hurt.
Watching the world fly past me, while I am at a stand still.
Too numb to feel emotion. Too far away to realise whats going on around me.

The blade was useful today.
It pierced my skin more than once, more than 10 times.
It continued to quickly slash across my skin. Etching its way through.
The blood stained the blade more. Poor stained blade.
It continues to scar the skin its so familiar to touching.
The blood falls onto a bandana. Flicks onto the pyjamas.
Then the bandana wraps around the wrist. Pulled tightly so it stings.
Tied up so it doesn't fall off, and reveal whats hidden beneath it.
Its hiding a secret. A big secret. A secret that no one can deal with.
Not even the person the secret belongs to...


*I'm a slow dying flower, in the frost-killing hour, turning sour and untouchable.*

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