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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
.KillCasino. Offline
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Name: LauRAWR!
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Location: Trapped in a messed up mind

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I can't carry on... - January 27th 2009, 09:44 AM

Self Harm. It isn't just about cutting. Its about poisoning, overdosing, scratching, punching, just general harming. Its bad, real bad...its like, its like...no one understands me. I feel so alone. My head is going to explode. My thoughts stay locked away, why the hell would I let them out? Right? Okay, so, umm, I haven't necessarily 'cut' in a while, I've scratched myself, I've pressed the blade against my skin but I haven't done it...Instead, I overdosed last night. This morning I felt ill, but I felt happier...idk, it was like my perspective on life had changed, but now, idk...I want to take more pills. I can't actually fight the urge. I can't continue. I cant...please, help...
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Fieryfxcker Offline
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Re: I can't carry on... - January 27th 2009, 09:56 AM

i hate living so far away.
I feel so useless. Please don't do this. I'm here for you always honestly.
Whether you think you deserve it or not.
I want to be there for you, and talk to you and just be your friend

*I'm a slow dying flower, in the frost-killing hour, turning sour and untouchable.*

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
*Jen* Offline
keep smiling :-)
Outside, huh?
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Re: I can't carry on... - January 27th 2009, 11:20 AM

Hey Laura,
I am really sorry that you feel like this. You are not alone and there are people that would want to try to understand how you feel. But people can only understand if you give them a chance to help you. No one can understand completely your experiences, but that doesn't mean they can't try to understand. Taking pills is really not the answer and could cause serious damage. It will only make you feel worse after taking them because they will make you ill. If you took an overdose last night then I think you really need to go to hospital or see a doctor, because it could have damaged you, but you won't know because it is your insides. You can fight the urges. You are stronger than them so don't let them win. Stay strong:-)
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Katieee Offline
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Re: I can't carry on... - January 27th 2009, 11:26 AM

Hey hun,
Sorry that you're feeling like this. *HUGS* Please don't take anymore pills.
Could you use some alternatives instead of harming yourself? Maybe talk to someone? I know it's hard talking to people about things like this but you'll feel better. If talking to people is too hard, you could always get your feelings out by writing a letter and then ripping it up and throwing it away. Hope you feel better soon!

"You'll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind."
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Re: I can't carry on... - January 27th 2009, 02:05 PM

Hi. I think you need to go to hospital really. How many had you taken? Say it was an accident, say whatever if you're worried that parents might find out. I'm not sure with your age and all that. Even if they do find out what you've done, so what...is it even possible for you to feel any worse? You'll probably get a bit of help and maybe a referral...you'd probably be treated medically first if necessary and then the crisis team might come and assess you..or the adolescent mental health team. You probably couldn't feel anymore crap, this is something like rock-bottom so the only way is up right? So do something different for a change...rather than the same stuff and get out and get some help. I heard a cool quote on a film apparently 'insanity is doing the same thing twice and just expecting a different outcome'

Self harm etc is a really hard slope to get back up..like back up into the real world. Look after yourself cos nobody else will really. Ally x

My head is so noisy sometimes.
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Anya_Bananya Offline
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Re: I can't carry on... - January 29th 2009, 10:25 AM

I agree, you should probably head to the hospital just ot be sure that whatever you took too much of isn't doing to cause permenent damage to the inside of you. I don't know about England, but in the US we have advocacy groups who have volunteers on call 24/7 who will go with you to the hospital if you're afraid to go alone. These volunteers are familier with the proceedures of hospital exams and whatnot so they can help walk you thorugh it step by step (eliminating shocks) and can ensure that the hospital treats you fairly. Like I said, I don't know if England has something like this, but it might be worth a try to look them up. Another things the US groups do is give you a safe place to let out your feelings via phone, e-mail, or even person to person. The people who volunteer are not shrink or anything, so they are not required to report anything you say and will keep your confidentiality 100%. Since they are available 24/7 then you might be able to call someone the next time you feel the need to overdose and talk about why you feel that urge. Honestly, it's better to get the feelings out in the open...I think you'll find that the more you examine your emotions the less crazy you'll think of them. You'll make connections between shit that happend in the past and the feelings you are having now...it'll help you to see and understand your own self.

Let me know if I can do anything to help...I'm always willing to just listen...and if you want to find out more about those advocacy groups, let me know, I may be able to look up some groups in England for ya. Of hand I know that The Samaritans are located in England or possibly Ireland...they have a website too. http://www.samaritans.org/talk_to_someone/email.aspx

stay strong,

"Every day is new, there are no mistakes in it yet." - Miss Stacy, Anne of Green Gables

"Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tide" -Garth Brooks
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