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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
losthope1620 Offline
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Name: Tara
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feeling the urge to cut - January 27th 2009, 06:29 PM

so, i am a former cutter. i started when i was 16 and stopped at 17. im now 19 turning 20 on sunday. yippee. not. i havent been cutting at all for a long time, altho i have done other things. but im ready to start cutting again and i dont know if i can hold back any longer. nothing ever makes me want to cut or self harm. the only thing that makes me feel like this is my brother. i live with him, have for the past year and a half. im so tired of him putting me down all the time and making me feel like shit. i just cant handle it anymore and i dont know what to do about it. me and a friend from pennsylvania are trying to get me back home. but im afraid that its not going to happen and i will start cutting again. no one that i live with really understands how important going home for me is. its been 2 years since i have been home and i have been homesick the whole time. im always stressed cause of my 2 soon to be 3 year old niece. and im always fighting with my brother. he is the only one that can make me feel so bad that i want to cut. tonight i felt like sticking a safety pin threw my arm cause he treats me with no respect. its as if im a child. im 19 years old for crying out loud. i have raised my fucking niece for the past year. but yet im still treated like im a child instead of an adult. i would seriously like to hurt him instead of myself, but in the end it wouldnt cause me relief. i dont even know why im posting this really. i just really have the urge for self mutilation
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Re: feeling the urge to cut - January 28th 2009, 04:47 PM

Hii Tara
Sorry you're having such a tough time at the moment, it's really hard and DEFINITELY not fair *hug*
If he sepnds all of his time putting you down, that is a form of abuse, and the only person whoserpoblem that is is his. It means that he has an issue he has to deal with, rather than causing other people problems to distract himself.

This is coming from the wolrds biggest hypocrite, but...try and resist. Try doing almost anything else, g kickboxing, do some exercise, Teach yourself something, spend half an hour on here just talking, Whatever you find effective, to try and resist. Because although it isn't the end of the world if you cut, it would be a shame. So if ou feel like you can resist, do, but if you feel really hopeless, and don't know what to do, having tried other things, don't emotionally beat yourself up about it afterwards. 2 years is a phenomenal achievement, you should be proud of that!!

If you ever want to talk, you can always PM me!

Wolfie x
   
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Re: feeling the urge to cut - January 29th 2009, 03:02 PM

Hey hun,

Wow, that must be really hard for you. Please don't cut though, you've done really well by not doing it for so long. Find some other things to do when you're brother makes you stressed like punching a pillow, writing a letter about how he makes you feel but not give him it, go out for a walk, listen to music ANYTHING as long as it's not self-harm. Maybe if you feel you can, talk to him about how he makes you feel. Maybe he doesn't realize? *HUGS*


"You'll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind."
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losthope1620 Offline
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Re: feeling the urge to cut - January 29th 2009, 06:30 PM

thanks for you replies. it means alot. like i said i do have the urge to self harm. but i know that i cant. i mean i wouldnt be able to actually pick anything up and do something. it just seems wrong to do it after such a long time. and i have tried alot of things but no matter what i do i still get shit from him. i have written him a letter the other night about how he was being such a bastard. and he hasnt been giving me a hard time recently. but soon enough he will start acting up again. im hopefully going back home to Pennsylvania by the end of feb. so hopefully things wil be much better when i get back home.

and thanks again for the concern and replies.
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Re: feeling the urge to cut - January 31st 2009, 07:11 AM

Well, it's my pleasure, and you know you can always PM me i you wanna talk
   
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Re: feeling the urge to cut - January 31st 2009, 04:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by losthope1620 View Post
thanks for you replies. it means alot. like i said i do have the urge to self harm. but i know that i cant. i mean i wouldnt be able to actually pick anything up and do something. it just seems wrong to do it after such a long time. and i have tried alot of things but no matter what i do i still get shit from him. i have written him a letter the other night about how he was being such a bastard. and he hasnt been giving me a hard time recently. but soon enough he will start acting up again. im hopefully going back home to Pennsylvania by the end of feb. so hopefully things wil be much better when i get back home.

and thanks again for the concern and replies.
Awww. Well done hun, you're doing really well. Lol, you don't have thanks us, it's what we're here for


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