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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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SO Teacher.... - January 29th 2009, 09:32 PM

So um...
yeah....

Today in Science Olympiad, I was building my bridge, and I had my arm face up (that is, cuts up) because I didn't see anyone around me.
When I lookd up, my science teacher (Mr.Cable, the best teacher ever) whom I'm really close with said
"What's on your wrist?"
Of course, I responded
"Nothing."
"That doesn't look like nothing."
"It's Nothing."
I flashed a weak smile.
"So next time I look, there isn't going to be anything huh?"
"Yeah."
Then he walked off to help someone else and I think he said
"That isn't nothing."

I feel really bad.
Firstly, he is my favorite teacher, and I don't want to make him feel bad about anything.
Secondly, He is a teacher...Doesn't he have to tell my parents?
Thirdly, I got caught.
Fourthly, I don't want him to say anything, but at the same time I do...
And Fifthly, we use razors to cut balsa wood. I don't want my privileges revoked.

I need someone to catch me...I'm gunna fall.




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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 29th 2009, 09:36 PM

If you think he's going to tell maybe you should try talking to him about it? He must be ok if he's your favorite teacher.
Maybe he could help you.
   
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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 29th 2009, 09:47 PM

i have a thing with trust though...
i dont think i could talk to him about it...
i practically died a little inside when he saw it
because i couldn't use the cat scratch excuse
he has like three cats...
and i should have left my band aid on...
*bangs hands on head*
im so stupid...




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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 29th 2009, 09:49 PM

Hey,

Technically, teachers are required to tell your parents if you're actively hurting yourself, in danger of hurting yourself, or suicidal. There are some teachers, though, who won't tell your parents. It really depends on the teacher. If your parents already know, and you tell your teacher that, they may not talk with your parents. Again, it depends on the teacher.

I really think you should be honest with your teacher. You said you're pretty close with him - do you think you would be comfortable talking to him about your SH? Having that support system could be a great help, there would be someone you could go to talk to when you're feeling triggered or need a bit of help.



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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 29th 2009, 10:00 PM

Hi Carey,

I know you feel bad about this incident, however I think it may give you an opportunity to get some support. Geting "caught" is sometimes our worst fear but often it's our best of luck.

You mention that you and your science teacher are really close. I think that is great and maybe you could talk to him. Now that he's seen it, he might understand things more. It's a good way to start sharing [if you haven't already] to go talk to him and "correct" yourself about that nothing.

Depending on where you live and your school's policy, he may or may not have to consult higher admin which could lead to parents. I don't want to give you false hope, but I personally haven't seen that breech of trust in situations like this.

I hope things work out okay for you. Consider going back to see your science teacher for some support, I'm certain he'd be happy to help.

Take care, and feel free to PM me anytime


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 29th 2009, 10:04 PM

why dont you guys understand...
i feel like i cant talk to him anymore...
like he might hate me now...
i need to cry...

im really going to try to stop though,
because i think i hurt him...
its like when i found out my friend was cutting...
it hurt...
i dont want to do that to him...




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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 29th 2009, 10:11 PM

He doesn't hate you.
SH is nothing to be ashamed about.
I have been in a position like yours too - but, I brought the topic forward and then showed him, rather than it slipping. But, I wasn't brave about it. I nearly cried in front of him. I asked "in what instances would you have to talk to my parents" and he basically said, he wanted to know no matter what it was. And I sat there all day because I was so scared that he would think less of me, that he would hate me, that he would think I was crazy. Just before he left that afternoon, I showed him. And, that was it.. he almost cried because he was worried, and sad that I was in so much pain. But he got me help, and supported me through a lot after that.
Anyway, the point of that story was... he doesn't hate you. That's just an irrational fear. I'm sure he might be worried, but if he asked about it that makes me think he wants to help you.


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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 29th 2009, 11:23 PM

Carey, I know you feel like you can't be honest with him but you can. So he saw your cuts, that's not the end of the world, or your relationship as friends. He doesn't hate you, trust me. My teacher found out about my cutting too, a long time ago. And he helped me through it. The worse days, the best days, he was there for me, and I began to slowly start being there for him. If you do not feel comfortable bringing it up, let him be the one to ask. Because well, I'm sure he's worried dear, and worried teachers usually ask uncomfortable questions. But it's okay, it really is. Pm me if you need me dear. *hug*


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"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.


Smile through the tears.


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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 30th 2009, 01:52 AM

the thing is, that im so used to pretending im happy, i was laughing within 10 minutes, and i dont want him to think i dont think its a big deal...
the funny part is,
my friends have actually seen my blade,
called me emo,
and said nothing else about it...
i'll be damned
but i think he cares more about me cutting than they do...




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Last edited by SnowKitten; January 30th 2009 at 01:52 AM. Reason: spelling error
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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 30th 2009, 02:54 PM

* sophie catches carey* i'll save yooooooooh :P

well all i can suggest is that if this teacher is so special to you maybe you could confide in him? i know if i was a teacher and someone confided in me i'd feel dead special. he will understand!!!! he will be more than happy to help you out!!!! go on give it a try!!!! its for the best =]

PM me if you need any alternatives or anymore advice! am allways happy to help =D
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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 30th 2009, 03:01 PM

Depending on your school board policy of confidentiality, teachers are obligated (under penalty of losing their position) to tell your guardians if you are deemed "in danger".
It's worth a shot to talk to him though, just to help yourself and get out of this thing that you're in. You know?


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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 30th 2009, 03:33 PM

ahh thats true. never thought about that!!!! my head of year rung my parents without telling me!


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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 30th 2009, 03:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by careyjonz95 View Post
So um...
yeah....

Today in Science Olympiad, I was building my bridge, and I had my arm face up (that is, cuts up) because I didn't see anyone around me.
When I lookd up, my science teacher (Mr.Cable, the best teacher ever) whom I'm really close with said
"What's on your wrist?"
Of course, I responded
"Nothing."
"That doesn't look like nothing."
"It's Nothing."
I flashed a weak smile.
"So next time I look, there isn't going to be anything huh?"
"Yeah."
Then he walked off to help someone else and I think he said
"That isn't nothing."

I feel really bad.
Firstly, he is my favorite teacher, and I don't want to make him feel bad about anything.
Secondly, He is a teacher...Doesn't he have to tell my parents?
Thirdly, I got caught.
Fourthly, I don't want him to say anything, but at the same time I do...
And Fifthly, we use razors to cut balsa wood. I don't want my privileges revoked.

I need someone to catch me...I'm gunna fall.
Depending on where you live, regulations for what teachers have to report may be different. I personally don't think it's mandatory for a teacher to report evidence of self-harm, unless the teacher feels as though you may be suicidal and/or a threat to others in the classroom.

If he's your favorite teacher, then he probably likes you as well, and he won't feel "bad" about it. He just wants you to be happy and healthy. If you trust him, maybe try talking to him about it. Teachers are not robots. They have feelings and experiences and chances are, they've dealt with similar situations before. Some of them may have been in a similar position themselves.

As for being caught, it could be a good thing. Sometimes it's good to have the stress of such a big secret off your shoulders, even if it's just one person who knows. At least it was your teacher and not someone who would be ignorant and make a big scene out of it.

I don't think you should worry about any privileges being taken away. If you want to make sure, you should talk to him. Let him know you're not completely out of control and you can be trusted to not do anything stupid in school.


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  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 30th 2009, 04:35 PM

I honestly dont know if he has to report it because my teacher in 9th grade saw my cuts and never reported it she just took it on herself. By talking to me all the time when ever I had bad cuts and asked why and stuff. She even took me out to lunch after I threw my blades away. But it got really annoying.

I believe teachers have to report it if they feel like you are in danger, or if they think your going to do something more. If your afraid he might tell the school counclor(thats all he can tell I think then the counclor tells your parents) I would ask him about it and just talk to him. BEcause most cool teachers who are really close to some off there students dont want them to feel like they betraded(spelling) the student. My advise is just to ask him. and just talk to him.


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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 30th 2009, 09:17 PM

Hi. I'm Tamsdon.
I'm popping candy and on a sugar high, listening to one of those happy, up-beat songs that most people go AHHH, THAT'S SO FRIGGIN ANNOYING, but I love (Lucky by Dragonette), so I'm going to write a lot ;D because you are worth it.

ANYWAY, , ahhh, you sound just like me. I say this so you don't feel like you are the only person in the world that's got things/situations like this going on. I rather doubt and I think your in the clear about the balsa wood activities. He probably wouldn't want to stir attention by taking the razor privilages away from you, and he doesn't know anything definite, and it's not like you are going to do anything in class! If anything, he'll probably give you a tray that he knows has one razor (or a number he's counted) and maybe keep an eye on you.
Quote:
I don't want him to say anything, but at the same time I do...
That's familiar; part of you doesn't want anyone to intervene in your buisness, your body, your catharsis, but a (smaller, but all the same big because it's so abnormal to you and your other mindset) part of you does secretly wish that someone like, for instance, your favorite teacher (if it's gotten bad--self-harm--sometimes it'll be anyone) to intervene. Even if it's not because someone wants to stop, they just want someone to know. Someone in real life to talk to about little details and big pictures with.
Getting caught is no easy matter. It's rough, reality-grasping, and scary. It comes with all these worries about who it was, what you did "wrong", their reaction, and how your reacting. You didn't do anything wrong. When given the chance to relax and not worry about covering for a little bit, I'd take it. That's not to say you were being "sloppy" things like this have a tendency to come out sooner or later. You can't be perfect all the time. It sounds to me like you reacted fast and handled this well. All teachers are different, have differently inforced rules, and know different things. Like, your teacher might not know a lot about cutting, or he may have had experiences with students/other people before. I very much doubt he will call your parents up himself unless they have a relationship of some sort, like if they have talked before or met or anything above, Hi, im teaching your kid, next. He may, however, pass the information onto the guidence councelor who might want to talk to you, and it's possible that she'd call your parents but please, please, don't worry about it. It's not a big chance at all, and even if you are just dreading and worrying and totally making yourself believe that it's going to happen, it won't help. If it happens, you can worry abotu it them. Don't count your hens before they hatch. Besides, he doesn't really have any big reason to believe that you are in danger to yourself.
I'm wondering if it makes you feel any better that it was your favorite teacher who found out. What I mean to say is, if one person had to find out (besides your friends, who by the way if there's a friend that you trust that just doesn't understand very well, as you let on, do you think that you would want to/could try and make one or more understand? Could you let them into this? Go beyond the "emo" barrier and talk about it, for reals?) are you glad that it was this teacher instead of someone else? I think he's fine, as for feeling bad about anything goes. You shook him a bit, probably, and he's probably worried about you. I think it's GREAT that you are stopping right now, or at least want to. Believe people when they say that it's easier to stop when it's a bit newer than when it's "old news."

PM me sometime. We can gab.
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Re: SO Teacher.... - January 30th 2009, 10:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by careyjonz95 View Post
the thing is, that im so used to pretending im happy, i was laughing within 10 minutes, and i dont want him to think i dont think its a big deal...
the funny part is,
my friends have actually seen my blade,
called me emo,
and said nothing else about it...
i'll be damned
but i think he cares more about me cutting than they do...
I think he cares more about you Carey, than anything you may do.Your cutting probably concerns him, as it should. Trust him, please.Try to, I know it's hard for you to do so, but give it a try. Ask him, hypothetically if he has to tell anyone. Honestly I think it's only if they believe you are a danger to yourself or others.My adviser didn't have to tell the school counselor until I became a danger to myself


She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

"I am not what has happened to me.I am what I have chosen to become."- Carl Jung

"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.


Smile through the tears.


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Re: SO Teacher.... - February 1st 2009, 03:10 PM

UPDATE---
I haven't cut myself since I posted this, and my cuts are starting to heal.
On Friday, he had about three minutes alone with my mom, and I don't think he told her, because she hasn't acted any differently toward me (she is still mean and verbally abusive...) so I think every thing is going to be ok.
HOW-EVER---
On the 30th, I scratched my nails into my arm deep enough to draw blood, but those have healed already...

I think I'm going to be alright...
But then again, I'm probably going to relapse in a few months when school lets out...




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Re: SO Teacher.... - February 1st 2009, 03:32 PM

don't be suprised if your teacher has told your head of year or a counsellor at your school, because if they see something they can't just ignore it. i'd say your best bet is to open up to him and tell him the truth, it will all come out sooner or later and being honest really is the best option. you say you have a good relationship with him, so he'll want to help you..


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Re: SO Teacher.... - February 4th 2009, 07:10 PM

ergg....
i forgot how hard quitting really is..
yesterday and today i cut on my legs for the first time,
and it rocks, because now i dont have to worry abut giving people a high five,
or wearing bracelets all the time!
i feel a lot freer to cut when i want to

its wonderful!




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Re: SO Teacher.... - February 4th 2009, 07:31 PM

Hey hun, please open up to this teacher. He seems like he really cares, and that's a rare thing sometimes. Let him help you.

As for cutting on your legs it's only good until summer comes around and you can't even wear shorts anymore. I cut on my legs and stomach and while maybe you feel freer because no one can see them, it really just makes you more of a slave to sh because it's easier to hide now.

Please, please open up to someone. And pm if you ever need someone to listen or talk to.
   
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Re: SO Teacher.... - February 4th 2009, 07:51 PM

Sweetie, SI isn't good, at all. It doesn't matter where you cut, even if it is easier to hide. Trust me when I say that people will find out either way. Plus you can never where shorts and jeans will cause your legs to hurt.Anything that touches you legs will cause pain. Talk to your teacher sweetie.He cares about you, so please try to trust him. Also, pm me if you need someone to talk to.


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"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.


Smile through the tears.


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Re: SO Teacher.... - February 5th 2009, 05:18 AM

hahaha
like i care if i wear shorts!
i havent worn shorts since second grade...
i hate shorts!

fat people can generally pull off wearing pants year round...
and i dont want to "open up" to my teacher...




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Re: SO Teacher.... - February 14th 2009, 10:06 PM

Hey, hon.

Keeping all this to yourself isn't going to help. You're throwing away a golden opportunity to get help. This teacher could prove to be someone who could really help you.

And all this shit about hiding them... well... you can only hide them for so long. No matter where you cut, someone is going to find them. Someone is eventually going to see them. And then you won't always be able to lie and have a good cover story.

love and hugs,

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