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Sox Offline
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Name: Beth
Age: 26
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Join Date: January 12th 2009

wrists. - February 1st 2009, 08:52 AM

I hate cutting, but i always seem to fall back on it..
It's not like i'm addicted or w/e.. i dont just randomly decide to do it..
it's always with the intention of suicide.
It's just that, in stressful positions or ones that make me sad.. i cant handle it at all.
i've od'd a couple of times though so the pills are hidden and i know from various attepts that i cant drown/suffocate myself.. and that droping apliences in the bath doesnt do anything.. anyway i can't remember why but i was really upset a week ago, so i went to the overpass bridge thing near my house, but ive been there before and i already knew it was too low..
anyway i didnt know what to do so i just started walking and i found a broken bottle so i picked up a peice of glass and tried to slit my wrists, it was probably the closest i go but i didnt manage to reach the vein, just like every other time.

but it always seems to come back to trying to slit my wrists..
but i can never do it.. so i feel stupid like half an hour afterwards and i dont have any long sleeve tops and only have 1 jacket.. so for like a month afterwards im wearing the same jacket everyday -_- and the other day it was 40c too

anyway.. i dont really know what im asking if anything. just ranting lol
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Re: wrists. - February 1st 2009, 01:04 PM

Well it seems that cutting is a thing a lot of teenagers use to fall back on but you must realize how bad it is for your by now. Having to wear long sleeve tops in the hottest weather must be bad in itself, and it should encourage you to stop. There are other ways of releasing these emotions that you feel are building up inside you. Maybe try something to distract you instead of replace what you're doing, things such as:

Scribbling on sheets an sheets of paper
Writing (poetry, stories, journal, etc.)
Being with other people
Watching a favorite TV show
Painting your nails
Eating something ridiculously sweet (or any favorite food)
Doing school work

Any of these things will either take your mind off cutting or possibly replace it, they're worth a shot and there are so many other things you can try. Cutting doesn't have to be what you fall back on when times get hard for you.

Trying to take your life won't make it easier, it will encourage the bad feelings you have now which isn't the best way to go about. Also actually doing it will effect everyone around you who loves you, you realize that. You're not alone in feeling like this but maybe you should speak to someone about your feelings and thoughts to try and work through them, find out why you have them. It can't hurt to try and you never know, you might be able to actually learn to cope with this.

As for the scars you have now, consult your doctor, or ask a pharmacist on what you can use to make them fade, or try make-up if they bother you.
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