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imaginarybird Offline
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last night - February 2nd 2009, 08:53 AM

So part of my major problem is the fact that when I feel depressed and get the urge to self harm, everything feels like it's going in slow motion and it's practically impossible for me to talk to someone about it. All the distractions, seem to only work some of the time for me. And last night I slipped up. It was the first time I've actually used a blade (I've always been scratching and picking). I didn't really cut in one fell swoop or anything but I dug into myself, and have succeeded pretty well in scaring myself with how I've gotten. I know that I should talk to my friend about it, but there never seems to be a good time to approach her. By the time that there is it doesn't seem like it's as big of a deal anymore.
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Re: last night - February 2nd 2009, 09:47 AM

You could always do it through MSN or something to make it less nerve racking than face to face. I did and it worked well for me so...it's just a suggestion. Even though it doesn't seem like a big deal at the time you should tell her anyway. It will be a load off your shoulders trust me and then you can get the help and support you need.
I'm really proud of you for trying to get help, even if it is a struggle.
I'll be around if you need me.

You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free
Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Re: last night - February 2nd 2009, 09:59 AM

I'm sorry to hear you had a slip up last night. I'm glad you've been using distractions, try finding new ones. I know it's hard to open up and talk to people, but it would be a very good idea if you did. Talking to your friend is good, but if things are getting wrose, then I think it would be good to go to the doctors, maybe get counselling (now I've said that you're probably thinking "OMG, counselling! I can't have counselling, I won't be able to open up and talk to them") well you will, because counsellors and things are trained in getting people to slowly open up and talk to them. Also, if you're getting depressed alot of the time then maybe you should ask about trying anti-depressants? They could help you feel better. *HUGS* Stay strong, and keep trying!

"You'll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind."
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Re: last night - February 2nd 2009, 11:43 AM

First of all, if your friend already knows you're struggling with this she should be open to listening to you no matter how long you take to tell her. I know it can seem like not a big deal the next morning, or at least not big enough to ask for help but it ALWAYS IS. Your friend cares about you and if they can help, let them try.

Distractions don't always work but maybe you could spend time thinking about something really time-consuming (specific to your life, not off a list maybe) or something active that will take you away from anything you can use to do it.

You're already doing well in that admitting you slip up; it's not failure and you can easily get help. Just talk to a doctor, and they could end up making it easier to resist. Fighting it by yourself is never fun. Keep trying though, no matter how many slip ups <3
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Re: last night - February 3rd 2009, 02:49 PM

Im sorry u cut with the blade. i have done that, and worse, and im def. not proud. tell ur best friend, rather u think is the right time or not. maybe u can try talking thru txt, im, on the phone, or in person, however ur more comfortable. once u tell ur friend it will take a load off ur shoulders. i told my best friend that i was depressed and that i cut, and he instantly comforted me and tried in every way he culd to help me stop. if ur best friend cares about u they will do everything they can to help u.

~Love makes life worth living~
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Re: last night - February 9th 2009, 08:37 PM

yea, definitly good idea to try and tell your friend. likelihood is he/she will be there for you and help you out.
I would say it's absolutely essential to get some kind of support before this whole thing gets so much worse. i know its the 1st time you said u used a blade, and that you didnt do THAT much. but you know that there could be a next time and things can esculate with what you're capable of etc. you know the pattern.

Good luck getting some help and support.
PM if u want to.
Tracy x
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