How do I stop if he's my biggest trigger?

[pixiesticks]

I don't fucking know how I'm supposed to stop with my dad here...

He's such a fucking dick. He's all like "Do you want to go here?" No. "Well do you wanna go here?" No. "Why?" Cause I don't. "Well I'm hungry." Go make some food. "There's nothing here to eat." (Translation: There's nothing that's terrible for you or chocolate)

"Will you teach me how to do this?" No. "Why not?" Cause I don't know how to. "There are directions." So you read them. "I can't read." Silent. (Fuck you, yes you can.)

Then he asks me all these questions that I never know the answer too, "Do you know anything? -laugh-" Yes. "What? That one plus one is seven?" No. "-laugh-"

"Come help me with this." No. "Why the fuck not?!" I'm doing homework. "It's only Saturday, you have all day tomorrow." No I don't. I have to work. "Come help me anyways."

"You're a loser" "You're lazy." "It's all your fault" "Let's just blame Aleisha."

I don't even know if this is even in the right section, but I'm just so fucking pissed off right now and I just want to cutcutcutcut. But I know I shouldn't but it's so hard with my dad around. This is why I fucking hate weekends, half the time I want to hang myself :/

I just really have to vent.

[WaitingForTheTearsToDry]

Hey,
Venting is really good, sometimes you just need to get it out. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.
I'm probably not going to be much help to you because I still haven't found the answer.
All i can tell you is that i know exactly how you feel and that you aren't alone, i promise.
Maybe you should try looking at the alternatives thread if you haven't already.
Pm me if you want,
and i know it's hard but hang in there

[*Jen*]

Hey,

I am glad you got things out. It is better to get it all out rather than hold it in because that only leaves you feeling worse. It isn't fair for your dad to put you down but you shouldn't listen to him because half of what he says probably isn't true. Perhaps just try to spend time out of your home at the weekend with friends or just go into town.

Stay strong and try not to let it get to you.

[annabanana.]

Hey Aleisha,

I'm sorry this is happening to you - you don't deserve to be feeling like this. Is your mum around, perhaps you could say something to her? Try to keep yourself busy on a weekend if you can, like Jen said - arrange to go out with friends?

I get the impression that most of what he says isn't true.. So try not to hold on to it too much, let it float over your head like he never said it. I'm glad you managed to vent - if it helped then perhaps you could try it more often? You could start a mood diary/journal. Record how you are feeling, let it out. Then can often act as a release instead of cutting.

Stay strong and keep fighting, you can resist the urge. The fact you have posted shows you are strong enough and that you don't want to. As Jessica said, check out the Alternatives thread (click here) and see if you can find anything that will help on there. If you try something and it doesn't work, try something else! Keep trying until you find something that you feel works for you.

Here for you if you ever need me,
Take care.
Anna

[Nomophobia]

hey, just want to say i understand because my mum is my biggest trigger and im not sure how im sposed to stop cutting when i live with her.
feel for you!