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ive been fighting the urges for sooo long now thought i was strong enough to beat them and everything else that comes with them but i just cant anymore im not that strong just wana curl up in bed all day sh fall asleep and never wake up again i dont know whats triggered this normally i can handle it and it goes away after a while but this time is different i really feel like im being pushed backwards, i dont want to get out of bed and leave the house but i have to i feel so shut out of everyones lives i feel like im dealing with this alone noone else understands it they all just think im having a down day but its more than that so much more i wish they understood my urges to cut i wish they understood me but they dont they never will .
im just so tired of being here suppresed by all my childish fears
these wounds wont seem to heal this pain is just too real theres just too much that time cannot erase
Re: cant fight no more -
March 20th 2010, 07:51 PM
I am very proud of you for fighting for this long! It really is an amazing achievement and you should be proud of yourself.
I think that you can keep fighting these urges, even if you do find it difficult. You are very strong and you do not deserve to be hurting. Self harm isn't a safe coping method and it isn't beneficial in the long term, which I'm sure you already know. Self harming and staying in bed isn't going to help you and I would encourage you to try and do something more positive to try and change how you're feeling - perhaps do something that you enjoy or go out with some friends, even if you don't feel up to it, it could be very beneficial.
I know that you say that you feel alone, but you are most certainly not alone. We're all here for you and there are many people in a similar position to you. I know that you believe no one else understands, but you have to give them a chance to. Getting professional help could be helpful for you and they will try to understand you without judging. You don't have to fight this alone.