Triggering (SH): Just wants it to end..

[ScorpioGurl]

The last few nights have been pretty bad..All I do lately is cry myself to sleep and think about hurting myself. I feel so stupid cuz nothing major has happened lately to trigger these feelings. I just want them to go away and for me to be happy. I have like zero people to talk to apart from this site and my boyfriend, but I hardly talk to him lately and I can't even tell my mom and doctor about this cuz they will just want to put me on more meds. I don't want to try anymore cuz they will just make me sick or more depressed.. Well, I am going to stop rambling and I am sorry if none of this makes sence, I just needed to get it off my chest somewhere. Thanks for whoever reads this.

[Stephanie]

Hey there Jill,

I'm sorry to hear that you've had a difficult time the last few nights.

You don't have to feel stupid about how you've been feeling, Jill, sometimes there isn't necessarily an obvious reason as to why certain negative feelings has been triggered. It's good that you do want to be happy and that is achievable. It's good that you have a boyfriend who cares about you and although you've not been talking much lately, do you think you could open up to him about how you have been feeling? It may be helpful to you. It could also be a good idea to talk to your mother or doctor - it doesn't necessarily mean that you will be put on more medication, you have a right to say if you want to take medication or not. A talking therapy could be more benificial to you, Jill.

I'm glad that you've managed to get some of these issues off your chest and I hope that it's helped you somewhat.

Take care and keep strong.

[Mehhhhhh]

You're not stupid, I do the same sometimes, It's horrible when I get unhappy and don't know why, makes me angry. It's good you're trying to get it off your chest, I hope you feel better for it You could try talking to a therapist if you haven't tried already? Sorry you're feeling down, keep strong.. "Keep calm and carry on"

[annabanana.]

Hey Jill,

I hope by letting things in this post that it made you feel slightly better. Remember you can always post on here at anytime if you feel it helps. And if it doesn't, well post anyway and we will try and help in some way. :P Crying is also good, as it can help release emotions and how you are feeling. Don't be ashamed or embarassed by it.

But you are not silly, not at all. Lots of people hurt themselves or want to hurt themselves for no apparent reason. It is nothing to be ashamed of, okay? I am glad you have your boyfriend who you feel you can talk to, perhaps you could mention to him that you are struggling? Even though you may not have spoken to him "properly" in a while I think he could support you and help you in several ways.

Also, could you mention to your mum or doctor but clearly explain you do not want to go on any more medication? There should be other things they can do to help, for example have you tried counselling or therapy? That may be a good thing to do - it can help you get your deepest darkest emotions out into the open and help you deal with them.

As for not wanting to hurt yourself, have you looked at the Alternatives thread (click here)? Search through the list and see if you can find one that sticks out for you that is a possibility you could do, if it doesn't work then don't give up - try another one. And keep trying until you find one that works for you. There will be one, and if you could find more than one then that is even better as then you could chose one depending on how you feel at that moment in time.

PM me if you ever need a chat about anything.
Keep fighting!
Take care.
Anna