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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
UltraViolet Offline
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Name: Lea
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my Sh... - February 11th 2009, 11:29 AM

is gettin worse.
im cuttin deeper but it feels like im not cuttin at all.
i dont no what to do.
i cant talk to anyone.
i am alone.
i want to scream out at people.
to walk into college and work wearin short sleeves.
and just not give a dam.

but as it is i cant.
and i never wil.
i dont have the strenth in me to keep goin anymore.
i just cry and cut all the time, wel when im on my own anyway.
which is alot of the time.

i dont no where to turn.
or what to do.

i cant handle this anymore.
i cant do without cuttin.
i can do anythin.

everythin is goin rong, at home and at college.
im so lost.

but its how i need to b.
i cant b anything else.
i no its rong, and planning is just as bad but i no i'll cut later.
and iv been collectin pills, so i'll have enough on 'that' day.

what the hell is wrong with me.
im aching inside, i hate myself and thing around me so much.

x x


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
lauren_160 Offline
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Re: my Sh... - February 15th 2009, 07:12 PM

Hey Lea, it's obvious you're having a hard time, have you thought about going to the doctors, and talking to him/her, if you're cuttings getting deeper, and you've been "collecting pills" you do need to have a serious talk, your doctor could arrange councilling or suitable treatment to make you feel better.

I know its hard to walk into college with long sleeves when everyone else is showing their arms, i have the same problem, but you've got something to look forward to when you're SH free, or have built up your confidence to not care what people think. Look forward to that day when you're cutting.

Take care x


Lauren

"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though Iíve been in dark places, Iíve survived and learned and become stronger".




   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: my Sh... - February 15th 2009, 07:22 PM

hii Lea

i am sorry youre going through such a hard time. i know how you feel when nothings right. i really advice you to go to your colleges psychologist or student support centre and talk to them. maybe they will help you fix ur problems at college and help you deal with your other problems. please dont hurt yourself. i know everything seems so hard right now but it will get better. remember there is aloways light at the end of the tunnel. thats what i always tell myself
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: my Sh... - February 15th 2009, 08:12 PM

hey. I can relate with the whole showing your arms thing. I hate it when I walk into any place and all these people are wearing t-shirts and tanktops... and I'm wearing long sleeves or a sweat shirt... it sucks... cuz you feel even more horrible that you have to hide.

you said you're cutting deeper, is there more going on? or are you becoming numb to the pain you're inflicting?

and collecting all those pills? you need to talk with someone. someone who can help you with this. By collecting all those pills... you're just having something else to hide. and when you finally take all of them... who knows if you really will have enough? many times I thought I had more than enough... but I'm still here... suicide just isn't the answer, hon.

love and hugs...

-Kaylyn
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
_Christ lover- Offline
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Re: my Sh... - February 15th 2009, 10:05 PM

You can do I know you can try this tell yourself I won't cut until I get x done and many times by the time you get that done you will not want it anymore or go in an area where there's lots of people.
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
UltraViolet Offline
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Re: my Sh... - February 16th 2009, 02:03 PM

iv been to conusellors college and doctors.
i told my doctor about i SH.
he didnt care.
im always repeating myself.
i cant talk to anyone.
no-one will even tryand undersand me.
i will sset myself free soon.
i will.
iv got to.
i cant keep goin anymore


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: my Sh... - February 16th 2009, 06:50 PM

hey... we're here for you and want to understand what is going on.

**hugs**

-Kaylyn


I need you Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go?

el rescate no es un mito
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