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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Primrose Offline
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Question At the risk of being hypocritical... - February 12th 2009, 05:30 PM

So, I SH. My younger sister knows this. She made fun of me in the past, and blackmailed me about it. I resented her.

Now, I think she does it to. I'm going to confirm later tonight. I can't help but feel that this is my fault, as it was I who started. I don't think there was any other major influence.

Suppose she is SH-ing. At the risk of being hypocritical, how do I get her to stop? We do not have a close relationship. Also, I don't know if my stopping will have an effect; I'm struggling with it myself. I'd rather not lead her down the same path that I am on now. It's better for her to stop as soon as possible, as she still young and the habit hasn't been formed.


Please help me. What do I do now?


Don't forget to live.
I'd like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love,
Grow apple trees and honey bees and
snow-white turtle doves...
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Thumbs up Re: At the risk of being hypocritical... - February 12th 2009, 06:24 PM

Rose- I wouldn't call it hypocritical so much as caring about your little sister and not wanting to see her make your mistakes. First of all, DON'T blame yourself if she's started SH. That's a choice only she can make and you probably will never know what caused her to do it; you're not responsible for her mistakes only your own.

There's alot to be said for setting an example, but I know it's not like you can just switch it off for her sake...just if/when you confront her make sure to get across that you ARE trying to stop. Offer to support each other if you think she'll react to that.

Good luck <3 just stay strong, for both of you.
   
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Re: At the risk of being hypocritical... - February 13th 2009, 08:19 AM

Like marissa said,
don't blame yourself.
i understand you don't want your little sister following in your foot steps.. Once i came out to a couple of myfriends they would tease and laugh, but then a month or so they started SHing, and i felt responable, but i wasnt cause i didn't make them take the first cut. i tried to help them, by saying oh i dont want you to go the way i did .. (i went to a teen rehab center when i was 13) . they all thought i was hypocritical but i wasnt trying to be, and i know that's what you want. but then i made a bet/promise with them. that to see if we can go the longest without SH. ha i know cheeesy but it worked for them, now there alive well, just i backslide... and took my steps back.. and i have to realize that i have to take my steps forward again... anyways what i meant between all that was ..
maybe make a bet/promise .. for the both of youu. & maybe it will workout good because it does work if you honestly try, and if you backslide.. take it in my affence get back up and try again... (:
anyways best of luck,
hope i helped <3

PS : PM me anytime is you need to talk! xD
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Re: At the risk of being hypocritical... - February 14th 2009, 01:19 AM

I think you should first, figure out if she is. Second, confront her about it. Tell her that you don't want her to end up having a real problem with it and that you are putting her health into view. If she doesn't listen, you might want to go to an adult and help her. SH is a bad thing to get into, as you probably know, and it is hard to come out of. Even if you are not close, you should be there for her and help her through this. Good luck.
   
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Re: At the risk of being hypocritical... - February 15th 2009, 10:39 PM

Openly talk to her, you may not be close, but this sisterly advice may make you closer, tell her that theres always that risk that you'll cut too deep, its addictive, it marks you forever, and even when you stop its hard not to think about when things go wrong. If she dosen't listen the best thing you can do is be there for her, if she needs to talk. And as the others said this isn't your fault shes the one that took the first cut.
Take care x


Lauren

"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though Iíve been in dark places, Iíve survived and learned and become stronger".




   
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Re: At the risk of being hypocritical... - February 16th 2009, 02:09 AM

I made a deal with her that she would SH if I ignored another of her bad habits. I think that this will work, as she actually only did it once a few months ago. I doubt that there is an 'addictive' danger as the time period is so long, and she doesn't show any indication of doing it again. I'll still monitor her though.

Thank you everyone. =)


Don't forget to live.
I'd like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love,
Grow apple trees and honey bees and
snow-white turtle doves...
   
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