Big mess up..idk what steps to take next..

[peaceloveparty18]

I once tried to stop cutting and only went about three months before starting up worse than the time before. I recently just made it to 7 months without hurting myself even a little bit. My friends and family were so proud of me. I gave in a few days ago, and lets just say I couldn't stop. I use to tell people if I ever started again I wouldn't be able to stop, and well I now know this is true. Everytime I am alone I go back to it. I've never done it this much or bad before and it's really scaring me but I feel so tied down to it I can't stop. I'm leaving my house for awhile and stayin with my sister'n law at least for a week maybe more. I can't seem to forgive myself, and everything is getting me down. I don't know why I am still trying to fight this, I feel like it's already won....I was in counseling and it was really helping but my mom although she understands pretty much just keeps telling me it's "Mind over matter"....which is helping me stop at all....i dunno what to do anymore...I messed up so bad...advice anyone?

[Em...]

Hello Mariah,

I'm so glad that you posted, because it tells me that you're willing to get help and willing to take advice to help stop your self-harm.

Now, i'm sure you've heard this before, but self-harm is a coping mechanism. It's something that you use to help you get through tough times. The question now is what motivated you to start again?

The key to getting over this is to remind yourself that self-harm is bad. In your mind when you think of self-harm you have to think of bad, because right now your mind is saying that it's great and this is what you need to do to feel better, and in all reality the truth is that it's not.

I think that you should take a look at the stick in this forum titled Alternatives. These are a bunch of self harm alternatives, that are categorised by feelings, and thus there is something for everyone. I encourage you to take a look at it and really try to pick out a few that you think that you could use to help you not selfharm.

Mariah, I think it's important to try to talk to people about why you're self-harming. Perhaps since counselling worked, you could try that again. And as much as you may not like it, maybe talking to your mum could help too.

I know you probably don't want to hear this, but your mum is right. Self harm and beating it is all about mind over matter. It's up to you to stop, it's up to you to want to quit doing this. It's up to you to make an effort to get help. And that my friend is the truth. It's all about your mind and switching your thinking to associating self-harm with bad.

And I hate to say this but no matter where you go and no matter what you do, there will be challenges in life, and it's up to you to choose how you deal with them. So even though your going to get away for a bit, doesn't mean that something won't make you want to hurt yourself, and that's important to remember.

Mariah, i'm sorry that you brokoe 7 months. Slip-ups happen, just remind yourself of what you did to get through those 7 months the first time, what helped you make it through. I have full faith in you, and i'm sure your family is there supporting you as well. Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk more. I hope this helped. Please take care love.