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-   -   I have no control (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t4840-i-have-no-control/)

*Faith* February 14th 2009 12:47 AM

I have no control
 
I just realised it today, I have no control over my SH, I mean I can sometimes go a few without cutting or burning but I noticed I do little things to replace it. Everything from biting my nails till there's nothing there, pinging my hair tie, picking at my chapped lips, pricking myself with a sharp pencil. I do all of this without realising and I don't know how to control it or do I just leave it?

swimmer92 February 14th 2009 12:52 AM

Re: I have no control
 
Dont leave it. It will get out of hand. I had uncontrolable SH about a month ago, I used to bash my head into walls and practically cut chunks out of my body but I am completely healed now and I want you to know there is hope.

*Faith* February 14th 2009 01:05 AM

Re: I have no control
 
How did you get past it?

Comatose February 14th 2009 01:15 AM

Re: I have no control
 
Have you talked to anyone about your cutting? Does anyone know?

*Faith* February 14th 2009 01:17 AM

Re: I have no control
 
Apparently the hospital is getting hold of someone to talk to but they don't know about my SH.

swimmer92 February 14th 2009 01:52 AM

Re: I have no control
 
Well, you might not believe in the Lord. But I know he is real because I had many mental illnesses and was mutilating myself so badly that I would pass out. And I met an amazing girl who started praying for me and he completely took all sadness out of my life and he also healed my shin splints and took away my mental illnesess. Before you give up I beg you to reach out for him. He is waiting for you and he wants you to reach for him. He will take all your sadness away, I promise.

MadPoet February 14th 2009 02:21 AM

Re: I have no control
 
Hey, Faith.
All I have to say is that you DO have control over your SH.
I think that eventually, if you try to stop what you always mainly do for self harm (cutting, burning) then maybe all the little habits will drop with the big habit. I know that it is tough and sometimes hard to control, but it's not something that you will never be able to get through, I know that. This thing isn't you, and it doesn't control you at all. Just remember that. Stay strong. xx

Darrenboy! February 14th 2009 07:38 AM

Re: I have no control
 
hey faith.

just wanted to tell you that we're gonna help you all the way in getting through this :) just remember you got all our support.

and dont leave it. try doing something positive like reading books and all. helps to turn all those negative feelings into something positive :)

have faith!

Ice Queen February 14th 2009 07:39 AM

Re: I have no control
 
I'm not sure how those other posts are meant to help you but 'putting your faith in the lord' or telling yourself that 'this thing isn't' you, wont help you much.

You've got some issues and you express those issues through the feeling of pain.
You need to figure out different ways to express your feelings hence dealing with the issues.
Now obviously the best way of dealing is to talk to someone about it but i understand that talking to someone about this stuff is one of the hardest things to do.
If you feel comfortbale talking to someone, then do.
If not, start a diary, poetry, stories; anything that talks about or expresses the way you feel. If you're active, go for a run, punch a bag, if you have somewhere that's quiet with noone around, go there.
Perhaps look into buddhism as it is all about mental happniess and how to acheive the ultimate state of mind.
Don't sit there hoping it will slow down or that you'll stop soon, as chances are you wont or at least not for awhile.
I've been there, i know how it is, if you ever want to get things off your chest, chuck us an email, i'll be happy to have a chat. fred.the.legoman@gmail.com

*Faith* February 14th 2009 09:20 AM

Re: I have no control
 
I can't speak or write it out because there's just no words to explain whats going on. If I try and control the the main forms of SH all the little habits rise, I just don't realise I'm doing it until I have to go or do something else.

Charlie_Charlie February 14th 2009 12:54 PM

Re: I have no control
 
you have to hope, girl. Believe you can beat this. and it's true, you can beat it.
We are all here to support you through it. it wont be easy. but with help, and time, and lots of talking, you'll get past it.

There are HEAPS of things you can do to express your feelings: Draw, Dance, Sing, run if you feel angry, take a bath if you feel sad. all these things let out your emotions without talking to someone or having to find the right words.

Or if you do need to find the right words, if you feel the need to talk, but dont know where to start, you can read some of the blogs on here. A lot of people here are really good at expressing how they feel, and quite often, you'll notice they are feeling the same way you are. So even though you dont know how to put it into words, they do, and you can borrow their words for a little while.

find something simple to always have in your pocket to distract you. pieces of paper of foam you can tear into tiny pieces or a ribbon that you can unravel instead of hurting yourself. Also see the sticky at the top of this forum for other ideas such as those.

If you want to chat more about this, feel free to pm me.
good luck. keep faith.

brendanmonline February 14th 2009 12:56 PM

Re: I have no control
 
Hey Faith,

I'm sorry this is happening to you! I myself used to cut, nearly nightly. Then you know, it took one good girl to teach me that I was 'better than that'. But that's not what I came to tell you. Now, in my opinion something triggers the cutting: Losing a friend or family member, getting into fights with your family, friends, boyfriend or other people and well the best word to describe what triggers it is 'Depression'. Now not to say that your depressed, but there is something wrong in your life that's causing you to do what your doing. Now whether or not you want to dig it out and put it on the table for the TH members to help, that's up to you! I used to cut, and when I had to choose between cutting and my girlfriend, I quit cutting. Instead I literally punched myself out, time after time. Well, now all that's over and so are her and I but I'm cut free. I fill the time that I would normally spend crying, sobbing or cutting and now I train. I train like a mad man.

The jest is, you need to try and fill up your whole schedule with something you enjoy. To keep you happy and this will slowly but surely make you not want to harm yourself. And then another thing I try and do is if something bad happens, forget it, burry it in a deep dark hole that I'll never see. Then the other option is of course therapy. But therapy isn't needed, in my opinion it's a monkey in a suit making you feel bad about yourself but then a few months later feeling good about yours, at the same time bad that your broke.

All the best,
Brendan

Gidig February 14th 2009 05:02 PM

Re: I have no control
 
I'd like to remind you that just because you don't agree with another user's advice, you should still respect their opinion and advice. =) Thanks!

Faith, you should ask for other peoples help, like a professional around you. That's my best advice, and just keep pushing forward, don't let it control your life.

Maria.

rescueisnotamyth February 14th 2009 09:02 PM

Re: I have no control
 
Hey. I'm Kaylyn. :)

The only way to get out of this cycle is to replace each habit with a constructive habit. When you want to cut, replace it with something else. Take up some form of art, learn to knit. Or journal about your day, pray, write letters to people (even if you aren't going to send them).

I had been to 254 days before I let my guard down. You just have to ask yourself if you really want to stop.... or if you're just doing it because that's what people are telling/forcing you to do. If you don't want to stop, you're not going to get anywhere.

love and hugs,

Kaylyn

*Faith* February 14th 2009 09:48 PM

Re: I have no control
 
I can control the cutting and burning but what about the others? I'm a lazy person so forcing myself to have a busy schedule will just make me feel even worse and thats the same with taking up new things. I mean, I'll write and draw from time to time but I don't do anything else.


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