Triggering (SH): Thinking Scars Are Beautiful?

[*x.Kathryn.x*]

Does anyone else think they're scars are beautiful in a sick sort of way? For instance I sort of carved an X on my wrist a couple of days ago and I think it sort of looks kind of cool. It's still scabbed and ugly but I know once it's healed it'll be beautiful.

This is so sick and I'm sorry if this triggers anyone. I'm not trying to encourage anyone to do this and I'm so sorry if this leads you too...

[JackOffJill]

i used to think my scars were beautiful but now that they have healed they have changed colors and stuff and i dont like them anymore. also when people started noticing them i hated it. i started really hating my scars when i stopped SHing. When i got better i realized they werent beautiful to me anymore.

[Thirteen]

Honestly, I don't think they're beautiful. They are, unfortunately, a part of me though. Well, I don't know how long it'll take for them to fade. If they ever do.

[noise94]

I went through a phase, when I was very seriously caught up in self harming, of thinking scars were great. At one point, I went out of my way to make sure my skin got scarred- and it's still scarred. Now, months and months into recovery, all I want to do is get rid of those scars. I definitely ended up regretting it.

[facade]

i think that in a way they are...
i mean, no one really likes having their body covered in scars or anything later on in life
because you have to find a way to cover them up somehow in some part of your future...
but i think that it shows what you've gone through.
you lived through that hard time of your life.
even though you scared your arms up of something,
you're still there standing.
so i think it shows that you're strong..
i don't think that you should be ashamed of your scars though...
they represent the time of your life that was hard for you.
and its a reminder to yourself that you are strong enough
;]

[Gymnophoria]

I wouldn't say that they're beautiful as such.
If I'm doing something and happen to glance at them, I do like to kind of look at them and think for a moment about it. But I guess like others have said I just accepted that they're part of me and although some will never fade I don't think I've ever be ashamed of them or regret them because it's proof of what I've been through and (hopefully) managed to beat.

[BECCALICIOUS!]

In a sense, they ARE beautiful to me because they aren't new cuts, they show what I've got through and they tell my story. I wouldn't trade them for anything and I'd be sad if they were gone, even though I haven't SHed in AGES

[Singing to the starlight]

Its not sick. I kinda love my scars. I don't like showing them but I like knowing they're there. They're proof that my past was real and they're like a medal proving what I have been through. Proving how strong I am. They are part of me.

[Celestial.]

I'm ambivalent towards mine.

Some days I'll look at them and be ashamed. On days like that, I look at them, and I see weakness and pain and ugliness.

Then other days, I'll like the look of them. I'll see strength and courage and beauty. I'll be proud to see how much hurt I can inflict.

I'm not endorsing self-harm, just explaining how I feel.

[alih15]

Originally Posted by facade

i think that in a way they are...
i mean, no one really likes having their body covered in scars or anything later on in life
because you have to find a way to cover them up somehow in some part of your future...
but i think that it shows what you've gone through.
you lived through that hard time of your life.
even though you scared your arms up of something,
you're still there standing.
so i think it shows that you're strong..
i don't think that you should be ashamed of your scars though...
they represent the time of your life that was hard for you.
and its a reminder to yourself that you are strong enough
;]

this is pretty much exactly how i feel. and i also get obsessed w/them. like when i SH if it doesnt leave a scar i dont feel like it was done good enough so i'll go back & redo it.

[The Darkness]

They are so beautiful. That's all.

[Ess The Morgenstern *]

it's not sick at all. Most of the times I'm ashamed of my scars but sometimes I love them because they show everyone I've been fighting (the ones which are visible are old ones). Maybe someday I'll be able to say 'yea, I overcame it'

[.Brittany.]

Originally Posted by ChaseThisLight

I went through a phase, when I was very seriously caught up in self harming, of thinking scars were great. At one point, I went out of my way to make sure my skin got scarred- and it's still scarred. Now, months and months into recovery, all I want to do is get rid of those scars. I definitely ended up regretting it.

I'm in the same boat as Nicola. I loved having them, now that I'm stuck with them. I want to get rid of them so badly, and they are still there, I'm now 6 months free.

[Mehhhhhh]

I don't like them whilst they are kind of bloody and urgh but sometimes I carve pictures kind of like this...

http://www.rhubarb-cs.com/images/illust.jpg

Is that weird...?

[Thirteen]

Originally Posted by MostlyHarmless

I don't like them whilst they are kind of bloody and urgh but sometimes I carve pictures kind of like this...

http://www.rhubarb-cs.com/images/illust.jpg

Is that weird...?

Thats more like Scarification. Do you carve those pictures for the look, or to give yourself pain?

[GoneBeyondRepair]

i consider tham aas beutiful, in a weird sort of way. i look at them as a friend, something that understands me perfectly, and as a part of myself. even though i no longer wish to SH, i dont want to ever loose my scars. they know who i am, what i stand for, what ive been/going through, and how i need to live. even though to other people their ugle, i find them amayzing. 100% me.

[LastRedAppleStanding]

Babe, i adore my scars. They are the best thing about my body. Obviously i have a few ugly scars from when i was little and i don't like them too much because they are in the wrong place. But i love the ones on my wrist and arms. Never be ashamed of admitting you like them either because they make you who you are. People will look at them and say 'Ewww emooooo' and i'll be like 'Shut the fuck up, they have nothing to do with you.'
[Edited by Konstantine]
But i'm getting the feeling that your not suicidal so be careful with hoe beastly you want these scars to be. My deepest one got me in hospital.

Be carefull babe x

[Mehhhhhh]

Originally Posted by -ArcAngel-

Thats more like Scarification. Do you carve those pictures for the look, or to give yourself pain?

Both, I got a bad scar when I was little (Not through SH) And it just looks horrible.. I don't want more of those yet feel I need the pain.. So, I do pictures.

[A_friend]

hmm you can think they r beautifull but u must kno they r not there to be nice

[*x.Kathryn.x*]

Originally Posted by LastRedAppleStanding

Babe, i adore my scars. They are the best thing about my body. Obviously i have a few ugly scars from when i was little and i don't like them too much because they are in the wrong place. But i love the ones on my wrist and arms. Never be ashamed of admitting you like them either because they make you who you are. People will look at them and say 'Ewww emooooo' and i'll be like 'Shut the fuck up, they have nothing to do with you.'
[Edit by Konstantine] But i'm getting the feeling that your not suicidal so be careful with hoe beastly you want these scars to be. My deepest one got me in hospital.

Be carefull babe x

:') thank you! That made me feel a lot better about everything. And I do sometimes think about killing myself but I haven't in a really long time...but I'm as careful as I can be so no worries. again, thank you

[XbeyondthisworldX]

I wish I thought they were beautiful. I find mine ugly. They help me hate myself even more. I feel like, "Well, if you didn't hurt yourself, you'd be wanted and nobody would reject you, because you would be less ugly!" and stuff like that.

[IzzyIzzyIzzy]

Oh i get what you mean. For a while i actually called mine, 'beautiful scars'. Poems and such like. I still find them kind of beautiful, but the reaction from other people certainly isn't. I still want to cut, right now especially i'm finding it hard. I quit because i got threatened with being committed and also my cousins wedding is soon, im meant to be a bridesmaid, i dont want all of those people knowing :/
They aren't beautiful to me in a way that im proud i beat those feelings. Sometimes i miss those feelings because they made me feel more human, they reached into the deeper parts of me that i can't really get to as much anymore. I met a guy though, who i assume had the same problem. He carved into his thumbs, and he kind of showed me without explaining what they were, and i guessed what they were. He flinched away when he realised that i'd recognised them. I've never felt closer to anyone in my life.

[Soliloquy]

I will admit, there are times when, usually shortly after I have cut, I do think the marks are beautiful. But my mind is so twisted right then that I do not know what I am thinking. The next morning, when I get dressed, I am always shocked and surprised to see them there. I'm instantly reminded of what I did the night before.

When I am in a healthy state of mind, I do not think my scars are beautiful. They remind me of my lowest points and of the self-hatred I felt in the moments when I cut. Feelings that I do not wish to revisit.

[Jenna Peterson]

Yes, I definitely think my scars are beautiful! In fact, while I'm always being careful to make my cuts look like they could reasonably be cat scratches so that people buy that excuse when I use it, at the same time I make sure they'll scar. Instead of a single thin line made from a single pass of the blade, I'll run the blade over the same spot a couple times to make it stay open a bit, but still be thin and shallow enough it could have been an accidental scratch.

It's so weird to be hiding the fact that I'm hurting myself and yet being so proud of the scars, but it's true.

[LastRedAppleStanding]

Originally Posted by Shades of Silver

The next morning, when I get dressed, I am always shocked and surprised to see them there. I'm instantly reminded of what I did the night before.

Hey, i'm exactly the same. I wake up and theres like a tugging. Then i look and sigh cause i have to go through another day of secrecy. But i favour your comment. x

[Bertiebotsjellytots]

I wouldn't exactly say they are beautiful, but they do remind me of things I have overcome. Luckily, I only have a few which still remain from a few years ago, but they seem to be like battle scars to me which have more of a meaning.

[udontno]

Like many others, I've went through periods of time where I was in love with my scars. I wanted everything to scar. Other times, I hate my scars and wish that I could erase them. At the moment, I don't really have a solid opinion. At times I hate them because of the comments that people make, the looks I get, the clothes that I can't wear. But other times I really like my scars because they represent all that I have struggled with and how I have overcome so many obstacles in my life.

You aren't alone in thinking that they are beautiful.

[dejaentendu0]

In an odd way, I love and hate them at the same time. In some odd way, I like the scabs and I like the scars. I fall in love with them and how my body repairs itself. Until it comes to hiding them and other people's looks. However, I also am fond of them because they show what I went through and what I've overcome. I look at my body and think 'Well, I'm not the most gorgeous thing ever. There's scars everywhere. But I'm stronger. And I beat it." They kind of make me proud, I guess. Kind of like battle scars, in a way.

[trinity17]

when i mena i stills self harm im not pround of it but i always thought thye was bretaufull i used to and still do make shapes into my skin but after a while once they healed i hated them i just went them to go but they will never i know that but i dont know how to stop

[SimplyComplex]

Before, I used to like them. Then I went through a phase of hating them. I always do. That phase where they look too new. But then I make my peace and realize they're apart of me now, a battle wound, and all I can do is let it heal with me.

[Awakening]

I hate them. Mine are very noticable and I cant stand people asking im nowhere near being able to just say what they really are so its really hard for me. They also always remind me of how im being a dissapoint meant to the people that love me.

[iMuse]

I find that my scars are kind of beautiful. The are in a certain shape on my hip. Lots of lines joined together as an uneven, criss-cross pattern.

[Fluorescent_adolescent]

Not beautiful per se. I just like the way they look and feel. There's a story there. It shows what I've been through. Battle scars, if you will. Sometimes I think a reason I kept on with cutting and the reason I think about going back to it from time to time is because I just like how the scars look. On the other hand, I hate them. They're quite noticeable in certain lights and I worry someone is going to or has seen them. Also, it reminds me of doing it. And I hate that. I hate that I started cutting and got caught and sometimes still want to do it and etc etc. But even though I have so much animosity towards the scars-- I still can't help but enjoy feeling them. I dunno. Very conflicting emotions.

[bitesize]

I don't think mine are beautiful really ~ although I do know what you mean ~ but I find them beautiful because they remind me of how strong I've been to get through what I've gotten through, and to give up what I've given up. I have scars on my thighs that I might find more beautiful if I wasn't so ashamed of their...obviousness to other people.

[ChelseaSmile]

I understand what your trying to say.
Two years ago I cut this like barbed wire/stich thing into my leg and I though the scar looked really cool.
I'd never do it again though, I think it was a dumb choice.

[rednailpolish92]

i have a love/hate relationship with mine. they are on my hip, so only one person (my boyfriend) has seen them. but there are days im proud of them... each one tells a story. and there are days that i hate them becasue each one tells a story and reminds me of that memory. it just depends on my mood

[Illuminate]

Yes, I like my scars. Especially my deepest one. It seems that the way they catch the light makes them look all silvery. I also find it nice to run my fingers along my forearm - feeling each little lump and bumb the scars have made. Kind of as a reminder that things are still real I guess (: