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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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BreakingAngels Offline
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Dissapointed with myself... - February 16th 2009, 01:36 AM

Hey guys...I wasn't sure where to post this, as it includes several different topics...but it does involve cutting, so I'll focus on that here.

I cut since I was twelve (fifteen now)...but I quit for the most part about six months or eight months ago, every once in a while, I'd slip up, but it was never anything major...until tonight.

I'm a girl, and I love a girl.
She doesn't know...but something happened that set me off...I'm horribly disappointed in myself...and not even just because I slipped up...

But because I go to a boarding school. I can't do that here, its dangerous...it could get me expelled if anyone finds out, and I can NOT go back home.

But here's the thing...I love her, I'd die for her. And sometimes...I WANT to die for her.

How do I stop this before it starts again?
What can I do?
   
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Re: Dissapointed with myself... - February 16th 2009, 01:51 AM

First of all, why does caring about this girl make you feel like you have to self harm?

Second of all, I know you care about this girl, you make that clear, but I wouldn't give away eight months of no self harm because of something like this. Do you think whatever happened is something that is fixable, not through Self harm? Is there anything that you can do to make the situation better?





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: Dissapointed with myself... - February 16th 2009, 02:12 AM

And you just pointed out the exact reasons why I'm so disappointed in myself.

I don't KNOW why "caring about this girl" makes me want to self harm.
Isn't being in love supposed to make you feel happy? Maybe I'm defective, all it does is make me want to die. I don't understand it. I'm sorry.

Its not fixable. In any way.
   
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MadPoet Offline
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Re: Dissapointed with myself... - February 16th 2009, 02:26 AM

You don't have to apologize for not quite understanding.
That wouldn't be fair, seeing as I never understand what I go through either.
But my brain tells me that everything is fixable, every problem has a reasonable answer.
Do you have anyone you can talk to, is this girl your friend to begin with? Maybe she would understand the way that you feel.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: Dissapointed with myself... - February 16th 2009, 02:32 AM

She's my friend...but she's homophobic.
   
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