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Ben 'jamin
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Name: Ben 'jamin
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How do I make it stop? - February 16th 2009, 06:35 PM

I wasn't sure where to put this, I thought it fit in here best though.

I felt a little reluctant to post this, but I just need some advice?
In half an hour I'm going to be out clubbing with some friends. I don't plan on staying out too long, but they begged me to go so I agreed. I thought I might as well, I haven't had any fun in a while, and maybe it could take my mind off things.

However, my friend has got some ecstacy pills, and insists that to have a good night we should take them. Now, this is where I'm stuck because I'm trying to stay off the drugs. I've taken everything except Heroin, and the way I'm going right now, I can see myself becoming an addict pretty soon. I'm one of these people who can't say 'no', though. If the temptation is shoved in my face then i'll do it, and not think until after. Just like the drink. I over do it with alcohol, which is why I'm not so sure going clubbing is a good idea. If I don't drink or take the drugs though, I know that half an hour in, I'll rush to the toilets or somewhere quiet and i'll start self harming and it'll get worse. I remember the last time, I found a smashed bottle in the alley way and cut myself with it. It was so careless of me, but that's how low I got.

The drugs, the alcohol, I do them because I feel so insecure. I feel like a failure. I feel like i'll never amount to anything. They give me a rush, make me feel so much better about myself. The self harming, it's getting to the point where I do it because I just have the urge. I burn, I scratch, I cut, I do anything I possibly can to cause injury to myself, and its got so much worse over these past few months because of my sister, because I lost a friend, because I haven't been feeling too good and I don't know how to make it stop.

I'm trying my best to recover, but temptation seems to be all around me and I'm just, stuck?


Benjamin Thomas Liam Declan Matthew Jamie Tyler Oliver **********
-My full name
(Obviously my parents couldn't decide on just one name)
PM me ANYTIME and I WILL get back to YOU.
   
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Re: How do I make it stop? - February 16th 2009, 06:46 PM

honestly... just don't go. if you're going to be surrounded by too much temptation... then it isn't worth it. you're trying hard to stop, so why put yourself in a position to fail?


I need you Jesus
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Where else can I go?

el rescate no es un mito
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Ben 'jamin
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ProkektRevolution's Avatar
 
Name: Ben 'jamin
Age: 29
Gender: Male

Posts: 57
Blog Entries: 7
Join Date: February 3rd 2009

Re: How do I make it stop? - February 16th 2009, 06:49 PM

They want to take me out though, they know I'm having a bad time. They want to help me forget things, but they're going the wrong way about it. I've told them but they won't listen. I know they're trying to help by making me come out, but its so complicated.


Benjamin Thomas Liam Declan Matthew Jamie Tyler Oliver **********
-My full name
(Obviously my parents couldn't decide on just one name)
PM me ANYTIME and I WILL get back to YOU.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Name: kaylyn
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Location: northern indiana

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Re: How do I make it stop? - February 16th 2009, 06:54 PM

try to explain to them that you can't go. and by what you've said... you really can't. doing so would be extremely detrimental to you. try to tell them that.


I need you Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go?

el rescate no es un mito
  Send a message via AIM to rescueisnotamyth  
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