I'm cheating, and it's only been about a month.

[XbeyondthisworldX]

I made a pact with my friend that we will stay clean from cutting for 6 months... It's been a little over a month, and neither of us has cut. The thing is, I've been cheating. I've been punching myself, scratching, and holding lightbulbs that have been lit for a while against my arm. None of it's left like scars, so IDK if it fully counts, but yeah. I just feel bad for cheating. Not to mention, I promised him 3 months without purging, but I've continued starving. I feel really bad, but IDK what else to do... I mean, it helps to talk, but I always feel like I'm depressing people when I'm talking to people seriously... I'm sorry.

[x_beautifullybroken_x]

Hmm sounds like a tough one. Well obvisiouly your friend know's what your going through because he did it aswell. So maybe you should be talking to him. But im really not sure darl. There's no point you feeling guilty because its not helping not do it!!

Good Luck

[Hallelujah]

I'd say the best thing to do here is to talk to your friend about it - after all, you've been through the same stuff and he can help you see reasoning behind it hopefully. Try finding alternatives to self harming [This article can help: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/]
Also, have a read through this for some tips to get yourself over self harming, (maybe try reading through it with your friend?): http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f78-s...rge-self-harm/

We're always here if you need to open up about this, don't feel bad for slipping at all, you're only human and no-one expects miracles! PM me if you need to chat

[awesomism]

I relate. I made a deal with my therapist that I would not self harm my self for a month. I have not hurt my self yet but the urges are really bad. I am actually really depressed at the moment but I really want my therapist to be proud. This is the hardest habit for me to stop. I have not hurt my self since august 5th but the urge is still in my head

[Celestial.]

Let me say, I've been where you are. And while it may seem like a good idea, making a promise with a friend that you'll go however long without self-harm, it can just add to your stress. People recover at different speeds, and in different ways. One thing I've learned is that ultimately, your recovery is your own responsibility, and your friend's should be his. I'm not saying don't help each other - by all means, give each other support - but this situation seems to be just upsetting you, so it's obviously not helping.
I'd suggest talking to your friend about it; let him know you want to recover, but in your own time. Tell him you're still struggling, and you'd like his help, but you're also happy he's doing well. Or something along those lines. Just try and talk things out, clear the air.
Good luck.