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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Tecatholic Offline
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My "mom" saw... - February 19th 2009, 02:10 AM

I didnt know if this was considered as triggering or not so I just said it was...

Today as I was cooking my mom saw my arm...which currently has lots of cuts on it. She freaked out...What do I tell her? What do I do now?






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Re: My "mom" saw... - February 19th 2009, 02:11 AM

Tell her the truth.
Lying to her won't help you, and she will be able to help you :3


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Re: My "mom" saw... - February 19th 2009, 02:13 AM

I agree with Shelly you should tell her.

If you lie its only going to make things worse and she can help you if you let her.
Just be completly honest with her.


   
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Re: My "mom" saw... - February 19th 2009, 02:17 AM

Kelsey, the best thing to tell your mother is the truth. It won't be easy, but it'll be the best thing that you could possibly do for yourself in the long run. Telling your mother the truth will open the door to the potential to get treatment for your self harm. I know therapy doesn't sound like a barrel of monkeys, but if you really want to end your self harm it's probably one of the best options that could be available to you.

Telling my mother that I had been cutting myself was one of the hardest things that I ever had to do. However, once she saw the cuts and freaked out I knew I had to tell her. Telling her allowed me to feel so much better. Part of the reason I was cutting then was because I was struggling with issues in my personal life dealing with people that she didn't know about and because I told her about the cutting, I ended up coming clean about some of the people involved in my personal life. This is a great link that could really help you to be able to tell your mother about your self injury.

Have you ever considered trying to stop self harming? I don't know if you are interested in recovering from self harm, but there are lots of resources available to people who are interested in recovering. For example, we have lots of stickies on this board that can help you on the road to recovery. Plenty of members here will be happy to talk to you through PM or if you would like you can even PM me. I've been a self harmer for nearly 6 years now, so I have lots of experience with the subject matter.

Good luck recovering and I hope that things go well when you talk to your mother.


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Re: My "mom" saw... - February 19th 2009, 02:41 AM

Thanks guys...
My only reason for not wanting to tell her is because she found out when I started to cut three years ago...at that point in time she told me she didn't care and that if i wanted to die i should just die...so the way I am right now I would not be able to handle that...






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Re: My "mom" saw... - February 19th 2009, 03:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tecatholic View Post
Thanks guys...
My only reason for not wanting to tell her is because she found out when I started to cut three years ago...at that point in time she told me she didn't care and that if i wanted to die i should just die...so the way I am right now I would not be able to handle that...
It's lovely that you told your mother three years ago, but that was a different point in time in your life. She might have been upset about it then, but she could handle it differently know. If you tell her how much it means to you for her not to freak out, then you might be okay. I personally think that if you provide your mother with some resources (print out some fact sheets on self harm) when you are talking to her she might handle it a little bit better. Talk to her as an adult, let her know what is going on. Don't try to avoid it or turn it into a yelling match if she can't handle it. Let her know what is going on, provide her with facts. Don't launch into personal stories about how bad your self harm has been the first ten minutes. She probably isn't ready for that, she's got a lot to digest right now.


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Re: My "mom" saw... - February 19th 2009, 03:13 AM

idk she just donesnt get it...its not like we are close. If she didnt leagaly adopt me she wouldnt even bother with me....






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Re: My "mom" saw... - February 19th 2009, 03:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tecatholic View Post
idk she just donesnt get it...its not like we are close. If she didnt leagaly adopt me she wouldnt even bother with me....
How long will it be before you are 18? When you are 18, you could seek help without her knowing about it. If you are really worried about how she would react, you could always avoid the subject until she brings it up again. Obviously she must care about you some, because if she didn't she wouldn't have even noticed the cuts on you arm.


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Re: My "mom" saw... - February 19th 2009, 05:04 AM

well i would tell her and since you told her three years ago she could react to it differently....

i used to self harm 2 years ago and i did it for two years.....i tried to hide them as best as i could because the last thing i wanted was attention and it was a way that i dealt with issues in my personal life.....but i didnt try to cover them up because i knew that that would cause questions.....and for a while it worked but then there were questions,,and i would lie at first and tell them that my cat did it...in the beginning she did but the rest was bc of me and so i told everyone that it was cat who asked me and that stopped the questions for a little bit but then i ended up going to the counseling office and they had to call my mom so i really had to tell her then almost everyone knew...

the reason why i told you that is because i know how it feels and what it is like and what u are going through and i understand....but i would try and tell your mom and help her understand, and just give her the jist of it...and i think that if she really didnt are she would have ignored your arm...or pretended she didnt see it...because you are hurting and it is showing....by the way you handle it and the way i did....but i quit cold turkey which is worse than stopping for good..but if you dont want to stop then you wont try to get the treatment...if you ever need to talk i am here and i will listen....anytime...for any reason...and you can always pm me anytime ......

i do really hope everything goes well for you and telling your mom....tell me how it goes and what happened
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