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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
UltraViolet Offline
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crazy possitive shite (dont no its its trigering or not, so put it jus to b safe for some users) - February 19th 2009, 02:00 PM

possitive people are pissin me off.
more and more and more!!

i cant handel this shit.
and then people sayin 'everything wil be ok', 'cheer up', 'things will get better' its all bullshit.
is isnt an wont change.
im pessimestic, i no that.
so i do not need optimism shoved in my face.

oh my god.
i cant do this.
cant.
fuck sake!!!!!!
my arms wont stop bleeding.
im thinkin crazy shit.
ahhhh


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Nomophobia Offline
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Re: crazy possitive shite (dont no its its trigering or not, so put it jus to b safe for some users - February 19th 2009, 03:33 PM

hey, just to say i completly understand where ur coming from. you need to clean your cuts and take care of yourself... who in particular is pissing u off?
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Prozac Offline
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Re: crazy possitive shite (dont no its its trigering or not, so put it jus to b safe for some users - February 19th 2009, 03:46 PM

These people are only trying to help you, and telling you that things have the potential to get better is only telling the truth. It is not a lie, because many people have had the same feelings you're having now and many people have got through it.
Why is it that you do not feel the want to be optimistic and would prefer to be in a lower state of mood right now? What do you think would help?
Things can only change if you want them to, and it seems as though you're in a negative state of mind which isn't really wanting or concentrating on things getting better, if you're trying to reject 'positive vibes'.
You can do this, you are doing it right now and it takes a lot of courage, which you evidently have. If your arms wont stop bleeding then I seriously suggest that you get yourself to A+E as soon as possible, your cuts may need to be looked at and they will need to be cared for.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
UltraViolet Offline
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Re: crazy possitive shite (dont no its its trigering or not, so put it jus to b safe for some users - February 19th 2009, 04:00 PM

i know ur right stephanie.
i dont want to b optimistic.
nothing helps.
nothing changes.
an i cant change.
i just want people to not keep goin on about it.
i hav n-one to talk to.
and its killin me.
but also i dont want to talk to anyone.
im so angry all the time.
and upset.
and the thought of not cutting, to me is not an option.
i just want everything to b different for everyone.
i am useless
i cant do anything.
im just like a stain.
im not wanted.
not even by myself.
iv never been accepted, and is not gonna change.
cos i cant b.
i deserve this pain dont i.
im such a horriable person.
i shouldnt b ere, on earth with people.
im to much of a waste.
i just need to die.
i ahte things so much


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
UltraViolet Offline
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Re: crazy possitive shite (dont no its its trigering or not, so put it jus to b safe for some users - February 19th 2009, 05:00 PM

i cant move on from the past, things in the present r fucked up, the future, i cant c it. iv tryed thearpy! and that did nothing but make me feel even worse if thats possible. im stil takin happy pills
i cant change how i feel
iv tried talkin to people, and they turn there back on me, and i dont no what to say anymore
i need help but cant accept it, and it doesnt even do anything
there is no point at tryin at something that u'll always keep chasin, i already have give up. i get no support from home or anyone. i just want a new life, i want things to b different including me in every way. but i want doesnt get

im just an attention seekin bitch arnet i. i just never try,
well iv been tryin for 8 years, since i first fuckin cut myself. n havent stopped. 8 years since my mum nearly died. 8 years since i realised that my dad hitting me so hard that i got knocked across the room into the wall, sincei realsied that was rong. 8 years since i first got bullied at school

ive tried so hard already, so no-one can say that i havent.
i have.
but now its the end.
enough is enough right?


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Prozac Offline
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Re: crazy possitive shite (dont no its its trigering or not, so put it jus to b safe for some users - February 19th 2009, 05:11 PM

Why don't you want to get better, Lea?
Or do you want to but fear you wont?
You are not useless and you most certainly can do things. You've been doing this for a long time and it's understandably been very hard for you, but you've done it because you have been brave and you have been strong through all of this time. Just because you have done therapy and pills and they haven't seemed to help as much as they should, it doesn't mean you should give up. There are plenty of treatments around and plenty of alternatives. Therapy can make people feel worse at the start, but it does start to get better. There are other medications and other doses. You need to go to your doctor and tell them how you're feeling and things can be changed for you. I'm not going to lie, you need to help yourself as well. Attending therapy and taking pills are not going to simply solve your problems, you also have to have a willingness to want to be happy, to live life. I realise that sounds difficult right now, but it is never too late to change. Today is the day to decide you want to change, to change for the better, to start to try and look upon things with a more optimistic attitude. We are always here for you, and so are the doctors, helplines, music, art, whatever helps you. You are never alone and it is never time to give up. You have done a lot, don't give in now. Things can and will get better if you want them too, you need to keep telling yourself that. Sometimes when we've felt a certain way for a long time, it can feel like a 'comfort zone' (ironically) and you keep thinking in a certain way and feel more comfortable in a certain state. Sometimes you need to get out of your comfort zone.
   
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