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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 06:49 PM

Is it bad an should I not do it?
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 06:57 PM

Of course it's bad. It's a way of harming yourself and you know that you shouldn't be doing it. I would strongly advise that you DON'T do it. Because it is a form of self harm and you shouldn't give in to it.


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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 06:59 PM

Obviously it's bad. You've posted this question in the self harm section, so you know it's bad.
   
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 07:14 PM

I think you know the answer to your question. :/
it's common sense. i would say not to do it.




   
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 07:24 PM

You know it's bad. Hurting is never good whether it be self inflicted or not.

Hurt. Never good.

I think you're possibly looking for some sort of help and comfort?


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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 07:25 PM

You know it's bad. You know all of this stuff is bad, and you know you shouldn't do it. You also know we're going to tell you that you shouldn't do it.


"'Colie, you should never be surprised when people treat you with respect. You should expect it.'
I shook my head. 'You don't know--' I began. But, as usual, she didn't let me finish.
'Yes,' she said simply, 'I do know. I've watched you, Colie. You walk around like a dog waiting to be kicked. And when someone does, you pout and cry like you didn't deserve it.'
'No one deserves to be kicked,' I said.
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 10:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyndsee View Post
You know it's bad. Hurting is never good whether it be self inflicted or not.

Hurt. Never good.

I think you're possibly looking for some sort of help and comfort?
yes you right
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 10:29 PM

but if it releases that sh energy an not as harmful as me burning myself
and its a little irritated the skin an senstitive but it went away
i see no problem with hot candle wax

as many people have it sometimes go onto their skin
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 10:31 PM

It's a problem because you're doing it on purpose.
   
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 10:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Myss View Post
It's a problem because you're doing it on purpose.
yes an its sastifing my sh urge an doin it gives me the sensation of burning myself instead of burning me
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 10:35 PM

I can't help you if you're going to do whatever you want anyways. I'm sorry.
   
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 10:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Myss View Post
I can't help you if you're going to do whatever you want anyways. I'm sorry.


i was simply stating how i viewed the matter an am open to finding a better way to cope and
rid of the self harm urges that are intense im open minded on this

so can explain your side of this/?
?
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 11:00 PM

You're still burning yourself. And if the skin actually burns, it could get infected. You'll feel worse if that happens, believe me. ALL self harm is risky. Try to find an alternative that works instead. Rubbing ice on your skin can produce a burning sensation. Or sticking your hands in cold water. Just try something that isn't going to actually damage your body. And regardless of whether you find an alternative, I would suggest you seek professional help. I know that probably doesn't sound very appealing, but if you want to get rid of the urges, you might need help figuring out how to prevent them from coming in the first place.
   
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 11:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleFish View Post
You're still burning yourself. And if the skin actually burns, it could get infected. You'll feel worse if that happens, believe me. ALL self harm is risky. Try to find an alternative that works instead. Rubbing ice on your skin can produce a burning sensation. Or sticking your hands in cold water. Just try something that isn't going to actually damage your body. And regardless of whether you find an alternative, I would suggest you seek professional help. I know that probably doesn't sound very appealing, but if you want to get rid of the urges, you might need help figuring out how to prevent them from coming in the first place.
that would be tough
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 11:13 PM

The problem with hurting yourself is hard to understand at times. When I first started self harming I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I didn't cut that deep, it barely bled, and though everyone warned me it was terrible thing to do I didn't get why.

But more than the physical damage self harm causes, it holds you back emotionally. You spend so much time hurting yourself when you could be spending that time actually helping yourself rather than doing the opposite. It might bring you relief, but how long does that relief last?

The point is that there are better, more helpful ways to get better. Maybe you should try talking to someone about how you're feeling, for instance. Do something that will help to resolve the problems you face rather than deepen and prolong them.

You deserve to be helped, not hurt. Whatever problems your dealing with might be prohibiting you from thinking rationally, but try to fight that. You don't need to be hurting yourself. No good can come of it. There's better ways to help yourself.


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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 6th 2010, 11:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Conspiracy View Post
The problem with hurting yourself is hard to understand at times. When I first started self harming I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I didn't cut that deep, it barely bled, and though everyone warned me it was terrible thing to do I didn't get why.

But more than the physical damage self harm causes, it holds you back emotionally. You spend so much time hurting yourself when you could be spending that time actually helping yourself rather than doing the opposite. It might bring you relief, but how long does that relief last?

The point is that there are better, more helpful ways to get better. Maybe you should try talking to someone about how you're feeling, for instance. Do something that will help to resolve the problems you face rather than deepen and prolong them.

You deserve to be helped, not hurt. Whatever problems your dealing with might be prohibiting you from thinking rationally, but try to fight that. You don't need to be hurting yourself. No good can come of it. There's better ways to help yourself.

maybe you r right its tough
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 02:50 AM

yes its bad, its sekf harm. please dont do it.
   
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 02:52 AM

That is most definitely harmful and most definitely something that you should NOT do. You should try methods of coping instead of harming yourself.

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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 02:59 AM

I cant stop doing it

Healthy coping skills scare me
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 03:24 AM

Self harm only thing I have to hold on

I give up on everything
I'm worthless piece of pathetic. Trash
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 03:36 AM

It sounds like you just don't want to have to do anything "tough" or hard.
Self harm is the easy solution, but that doesn't mean it's what you should do.


"'Colie, you should never be surprised when people treat you with respect. You should expect it.'
I shook my head. 'You don't know--' I began. But, as usual, she didn't let me finish.
'Yes,' she said simply, 'I do know. I've watched you, Colie. You walk around like a dog waiting to be kicked. And when someone does, you pout and cry like you didn't deserve it.'
'No one deserves to be kicked,' I said.
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 03:43 AM

I give up
I as hell can't keep doing this I'm not strong
Make no progress not even worth it anymore
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 04:00 AM

Illl keep fighting an

Try to be positive and work towards being sh an ed free
Sighs if iwant to feel better I have to earn it an work for it
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 02:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElfPunk View Post
It sounds like you just don't want to have to do anything "tough" or hard.
Self harm is the easy solution, but that doesn't mean it's what you should do.
That definitely the thought I was trying to get at for sure.

Yeah, I really couldn't say this any better. I've read all the posts on here and for you I gather then when one wants to give you advice, you have every other excuse in the book to not be able to try.

We really care about you other wise we wouldn't respond and try to help. At least try to help yourself. Try to do some of what others tell you to do. We aren't trained doctors/therapists but the techniques and ideas we give you are sometimes the ones that we have tried ourselves and it works.

So I'm just wondering if you're willing to do the work..because it's not a walk in the park, it's not fun and games. But soooooo rewarded in the end. That's the part you have to look forward to.


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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 02:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyndsee View Post
That definitely the thought I was trying to get at for sure.

Yeah, I really couldn't say this any better. I've read all the posts on here and for you I gather then when one wants to give you advice, you have every other excuse in the book to not be able to try.

We really care about you other wise we wouldn't respond and try to help. At least try to help yourself. Try to do some of what others tell you to do. We aren't trained doctors/therapists but the techniques and ideas we give you are sometimes the ones that we have tried ourselves and it works.

So I'm just wondering if you're willing to do the work..because it's not a walk in the park, it's not fun and games. But soooooo rewarded in the end. That's the part you have to look forward to.
so you all are giving up on me ????????
just give me up as a bad job an move on
im really just struggling ive tried peoples advice alot but in the end i still cant feel better im willing to get better an do the hard work i just trying to do so in steps
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 02:45 PM

No one said they were giving up on you. We just said that it's not going to be easy, and you have to try.

For me, giving up in steps never worked. I just did it all at once. Yeah, it was hard, and it's STILL hard. But you learn to deal with it eventually.
   
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 02:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Myss View Post
No one said they were giving up on you. We just said that it's not going to be easy, and you have to try.

For me, giving up in steps never worked. I just did it all at once. Yeah, it was hard, and it's STILL hard. But you learn to deal with it eventually.
alright ill try for you guys
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 03:20 PM

Doing it for us isn't going to do anything for you. You have to be doing it for YOU. Not us, and not anyone else. YOU. It doesn't really affect us if you keep doing all this stuff, we want you to stop for YOU.


"'Colie, you should never be surprised when people treat you with respect. You should expect it.'
I shook my head. 'You don't know--' I began. But, as usual, she didn't let me finish.
'Yes,' she said simply, 'I do know. I've watched you, Colie. You walk around like a dog waiting to be kicked. And when someone does, you pout and cry like you didn't deserve it.'
'No one deserves to be kicked,' I said.
'I disagree,' she said flatly. 'You do if you don't think you're worth any better...'"
   
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 03:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElfPunk View Post
Doing it for us isn't going to do anything for you. You have to be doing it for YOU. Not us, and not anyone else. YOU. It doesn't really affect us if you keep doing all this stuff, we want you to stop for YOU.
i can only for now do it for others for now
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 03:34 PM

If you do it for others, it's not going to work. You have to WANT to quit in order to quit.
   
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 7th 2010, 07:16 PM

True^^

You have to fully 100% want the help and be willing to change otherwise things will fail.

You have to look at things in a positive forward direction.
Not in a negative backwards direction.

And were not giving up on you
Were trying to get you WANT and TRY to get better.


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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 8th 2010, 12:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyndsee View Post
True^^

You have to fully 100% want the help and be willing to change otherwise things will fail.

You have to look at things in a positive forward direction.
Not in a negative backwards direction.

And were not giving up on you
Were trying to get you WANT and TRY to get better.

Aw thanks I commit from here on in to be postively an stop being negative to
Work towards being healthy
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 8th 2010, 01:05 AM

See dear, that's the attitude one must have to get better and feel better.

Best of luck to you. Please keep us posted as we look forward to hearing about your journey to recovery


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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 8th 2010, 01:49 AM

I agree with everyone that its bad, I'm glad your going to try and stop though, if you are doing it as sh then you know its bad, I used to do it when I was little just for fun but obviously thats not whats its for when you do it...their right about you wanting to stop for yourself too.
   
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 17th 2010, 05:58 PM

May be closed
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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 17th 2010, 08:12 PM

Well i think that everyone's being well bitchy to you. Thery're being the same to me too. You wouldn't have asked if you didn't know, you put it in this section because you wanted reasurance. I've always put my fingers in wax because it like the texture when it drys. My sister and friends do it too and know way in hell are they self harmers.

It pisses me off when people say stupid things like that is 'purposely trying to harm yourself, so you self harm and have a mental illness'.

What. The. Fuck.


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Re: Is it Bad if I put hot candle wax on part of my skin an leave it there? - October 17th 2010, 09:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LastRedAppleStanding View Post
Well i think that everyone's being well bitchy to you. Thery're being the same to me too. You wouldn't have asked if you didn't know, you put it in this section because you wanted reasurance. I've always put my fingers in wax because it like the texture when it drys. My sister and friends do it too and know way in hell are they self harmers.

It pisses me off when people say stupid things like that is 'purposely trying to harm yourself, so you self harm and have a mental illness'.

What. The. Fuck.
To be fair, first of all, the OP admitted they were doing this as a substitute to Self-Harm. I've played with candle wax for the sheer fun of it too. In fact, my friends and I all used to see who could keep hot wax on their hands the longest. But they weren't self-harmers by any means, we were just weird.

But, to get all pissy because the OP is being told that their substitute to self-harm is still self-harm is ridiculous. And to get mad because people assume you're mentally ill, well, you've admitted to having mental illness before, so don't be surprised if when you do things to hurt yourself, people assume such.


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