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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
L'espoir Offline
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Should i be stopping this? - February 20th 2009, 05:34 PM

I mean... its keeping me alive. When i want to die so much and i feel so miserable that its like something is crushing me i self harm. It keeps me alive, it keeps me going. I know its bad though im self harming every day atm and last night i spent an hour cutting my arms I just feel like im falling apart inside and idk how much longer i can keep it together... nothing is working and i feel so low. I was looking around the internet at self harm stuff my childline councellor told me and then i was looking at the depression stuff with it it sounds EXACTLY like what is wrong with me. Everything about it sounds like how i feel, how i am. I been thinking though, wouldnt the mental health nurse at CAMHS that im seeing have said something? although she didnt seem to think it was a big deal when i tried to kill myself and she has started talking about PMT which seems stupid to me. She has reffered me to a CAMHS therapist though which is starting in April. Idk though.. i just dont know what to do about everything. Im finding it hard to keep myself going.

Sorry, if i am moaning on i dont mean to.
Jen
x

P.S i wasnt sure if it was triggering or not, so just labelled it anyway
   
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Re: Should i be stopping this? - February 20th 2009, 05:51 PM

Hey, Jen: I'm sorry that you're going through this but it's really important that you're realizing you shouldn't have to deal with it with SH. While I'm glad about the appointment in April, is there any way you can talk to a professional sooner? And make sure that when you describe your symptoms and how you're feeling you don't understate ANYTHING. You don't want someone else not taking you seriously. Overall, I know you can hold on through this and find another method of coming back up when you feel crushed. Over time SH just makes you feel worse than before. Stay strong, hun and you weren't whining/moaning. That's what TH is for, to listen to ppl <3
   
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Re: Should i be stopping this? - February 21st 2009, 07:57 AM

hey jen.

self-harm is NOT necesarry in order to deal with everything because there's soo many other things you could do in order to get yourself through this , AND you';; be feeling more positive and self-harm mostly stems from depression.. so in my point of view the depression is what you have to deal with

i understand that sometimes it feels that life itself has hit such a low that you can never go back up. but the truth is..what you're dealing with is mainly psychological. change your point of view and start appreciating all the positive things that will probably be going on right around you at this very moment and you'll start feeling better. anddddd no, moaning is part of expressing oneself.. because you're moaning about what you're going through, we now understand how much you're going through and thus we're going to help you in any way we can

you should talk to someone you trust and cherish about what you're going through so that you can get emotional support and care and love (friendship-love ) in order startto help get through things. this has probably been mentioned before many times but actually, the most important thing to have when you're feeling low is to have someone to talk to because the feeling of having someone listening and supporting you is the warmest feeling in the world.

in case you need anyone to talk to, we're right here.


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Re: Should i be stopping this? - February 21st 2009, 07:33 PM

Jen, to be honest I am always going to encourage someone to stop self injurious habits. Being a self harmer myself though, I can understand how hard it is to stop cutting or hurting yourself. With that being said, I think that looking at depressing things can have an effect on your mood. If I was you, I would try to refrain from viewing sites that are saddening or have a negative affect on you.

Jen, I think it is so amazing that you are seeking help for your self harm. You should be really proud of yourself.


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Re: Should i be stopping this? - February 22nd 2009, 11:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by asyoulikeit View Post
While I'm glad about the appointment in April, is there any way you can talk to a professional sooner?
No i cant Its a new service thing starting in CAMHS and it wont be up and running until April

Quote:
Originally Posted by udontno View Post
I think that looking at depressing things can have an effect on your mood
Yeah, but it wasnt anything depressing it was just info stuff. Like according to just about any website i go on i have severe depression. Nobody in my life seems to realise or care though

I just feel like absolute crap/

Thnaks for the replies
x
   
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Re: Should i be stopping this? - February 22nd 2009, 01:15 PM

no, a lot of people do care. you just have to really talk to them about it


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

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Re: Should i be stopping this? - February 22nd 2009, 03:45 PM

Whenever i try to talk though, they dont understand or do anything about it. I have told the woman i see at CAMHS that i wanted to die before she didnt even say anything. Nobody does.


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Re: Should i be stopping this? - February 22nd 2009, 03:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenn x View Post



Yeah, but it wasnt anything depressing it was just info stuff. Like according to just about any website i go on i have severe depression. Nobody in my life seems to realise or care though

I just feel like absolute crap/

Thnaks for the replies
x
Information can still trigger you Jen. If I start reading about statistics and information on issues that I've dealt with, there is always the possibility that it could upset me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenn x View Post
Whenever i try to talk though, they dont understand or do anything about it. I have told the woman i see at CAMHS that i wanted to die before she didnt even say anything. Nobody does.
If she won't listen to you, then you need to tell someone else. Keep talking until someone will listen to you Jen.


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Re: Should i be stopping this? - February 23rd 2009, 12:17 PM

then as amanda said.. find someone who truly and deeply cares

and besides that, i think that its time you started doing simpler things like reading a book... or a movie. (i know it sounds trivial ) but the truth is that these things can make everything better by easing your feelings...

as always, ready to help. update us more.


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

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Re: Should i be stopping this? - February 23rd 2009, 06:44 PM

movies and books make me cry, its too overwhelming, everything is... its too much. LIFE is too much

i keep hiding in my wardrobe locking myself in, because there is too much space and stuff everywhere else? I dont know how to explain it it just feels calm int here


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Re: Should i be stopping this? - February 23rd 2009, 09:05 PM

well sometimes we need some time alone in order to ease your mind.

but the most important thing is outside support you have to remember that everyone you know is caring deeply for you

and i believe that once you find someone understanding to talk to, everything will get better and thats a sure thing.


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

Official member of the completely Unofficial free hugs Club !

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Re: Should i be stopping this? - February 24th 2009, 12:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenn x View Post
movies and books make me cry, its too overwhelming, everything is... its too much. LIFE is too much

i keep hiding in my wardrobe locking myself in, because there is too much space and stuff everywhere else? I dont know how to explain it it just feels calm int here
Jen, I think everyone has a spot that makes them feel so safe. I personally do not allow myself to cut while I'm on my bed. I get on my bed and just don't move until the urge is gone. I used to get in the (empty) bathtub a lot and just sit. It was a small area, it was cool in there, and no one would bother me while I was in the bathroom. It worked out well.


--A
   
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Re: Should i be stopping this? - February 25th 2009, 10:45 AM

hey Jen. Hiding in the wardbobe is a totally normally thing. Its a feeling of comfort and safety... i know, i do it alot. I know it seems like people dont care, but they do, just some people find it hard to reply to things like that.
Keep on truckin hunni =]
pm me anytime or find me in chat
xx
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