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lauren_160 Offline
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Name: Lauren
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 554
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Angry So he's back on the drugs, and everythings going downhill..again - February 20th 2009, 06:51 PM

So, there's various forums this could go in, but because it's about me SH seems more suitable.

Apoligies in advance, i feel a rant coming on.

So i got in today, and found my parents and my brother having a massive argument, so i just ignored it and went upstairs, (its a bit weird since he came off the drugs hes been pretty chilled). So i just sat behind my door listening, blah blah lots of screaming crying, my brother threatening my parents that hes going to kick my head in. lots of smashing, Etc. He comes running up stairs comes into my room throws everything about whilst screaming at me that im the biggest fuck up hes ever met (and he knows nothing about the sh etc so i dont know how he figures) and then he just left, had a bath, and then my parents asked him if he was back on the drugs, where again he went mental and then told them he was. more screaming smashing. and he made my mum get into a minor car accident from screaming.
she gets in shes been crying for about an hour, i went to see if she was okay, then she screams at me told me she wishes id never been born because im the root of all these problems.
and its not even from anger, because she says it all the time.
Just when things were starting to get better
and after being SH free for a fair few days, i just cut so bad. i know relapsing is a part of recovery etc etc. but EURGH.

This is all going horribly wrong.

i cant cope much longer.


Lauren

"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though Iíve been in dark places, Iíve survived and learned and become stronger".




   
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