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i cant keep this promise - November 10th 2010, 01:23 AM

i had been SH free for about a week or two because i made a promise, but the other night everything felt like it was falling apart. My dad was yelling and hitting me and my mom wasnt home, then my friends were yelling and bitching and after a few hours of that i couldnt stand it anymore. i cut both horizontally and vertically. i woke up this morning and i couldnt move my arms.. im really kinda freaked. and i've tried to tell someof my friends but they dont even care anymore. i feel like im at the end of my road and it's really scaring me. Now my friend, the one who made me promise, is trying to make me promise again, but i know i wont be able to keep it. im afraid to dissapoint her but.. i dont know what else to do.

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Re: i cant keep this promise - November 10th 2010, 05:46 AM

To be rather honest, I don't think promises help with self harm. Every promise I made to someone to resist self harm added to my stress and it all backfired. If you don't want to make the promise, don't make it. You don't have to.
You were self harm free for a week or two though, and that IS a good thing. Stopping is a hard thing and recovery comes with relapses. It's common and it's to be expected. Don't let it get you down. Have you looked at the alternatives in the SH forum? If you want to stop, you'll get there. You have to want it though.
As for your friends not caring, maybe you can see a counselor? Or maybe write down how you feel in a way to vent? Because I always found talking about your feelings and what you did to help.
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Re: i cant keep this promise - November 10th 2010, 11:19 AM

Ouch... in my honest opinion, it's not fair to ask someone to "promise" not to participate in self-mutilation and the like. Like Liz said, it only adds to the stress of trying not to disappoint and trying to keep everyone happy, while still finding your own releases and not swallowing your emotions, ya'know? Repressing is never good; you should always have a way of expressing how you feel. Maybe a journal or a counselor or a trusted friend? Or maybe you could do something creative as a release.
And of course it's not a promise everyone can keep right off the bat. But, hey, you made it awhile without SH and that's something to be proud of. But relapses happen and you shouldn't have to worry about disappointment. Don't ever say you can't stop, though, or that you have no other options. There are always safer crutches and outlets.

Hang in there, dear. :\
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Re: i cant keep this promise - November 10th 2010, 12:59 PM

Like people have said above, promises arn't the best thing to do in this situation. Your friend should be trying to help you instead. However, she does care. Thats the most important thing. Maybe your friends don't seem to care anymore because you've talked about it so much? Have they seen your cuts? A lot of people have to see it to believe it. I'm really sorry about your parents. If I were you I would just try and stay out of the house as much as possible and go have fun with some friends or doing something you love. Remember that eventually you will be able to move out and you will have the choice to see your parents or not. For now, just hang in there. Take care.

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Re: i cant keep this promise - November 10th 2010, 02:19 PM

As everyone has said above promises rally dont work with this sort of problem :/.I'd seguest not making this promis again theres just no point to it ... Also if you want a quiting buddy or need some one to talk to at any time at all Im only one PM away...Hope I've bean a help...
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Re: i cant keep this promise - November 10th 2010, 08:42 PM

When I had people trying to make me promises I wouldn't I told them I couldn't make THAT promises but I'd tell them I'd do my best to NOT hurt myself. I think its a good start that you have gotten so far I also think you should tell your friends that you can't make a promises that you have such a hard time keeping and offer them that you would do your best it usually worked for me that way when I did slip I didn't brake any ones promises and I did try not to.. but sometimes we slip my friends were really understanding of that... and I hope yours will be to
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Re: i cant keep this promise - November 11th 2010, 12:15 AM

Gosh...I understand your situation.
People do care, though. They just need to see the scars and bruises.
Can you move your arms? Make sure you keep them clean, or they'll get infected.
I'm probably weird, but I would try rewarding myself every week I went without harming myself.
I don't know if you'll use this idea at all, though.
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Re: i cant keep this promise - November 11th 2010, 12:22 AM

promises work for some people, but i don't really like them. b/c if i don't keep it just makes me feel worse.
try stopping for YOUR sake. you are worth it. look at the alternatives forum (it's SO helpful). also, i like the idea of rewards. i've gone over a month w/o self-harming, so I bought myself 3 African Dwarf frogs. Now whenever I have a urge, I go watch them until it goes away
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