TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
xXKristoferXx Offline
Just Another Romantic Tonight
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
xXKristoferXx's Avatar
 
Name: Kristi
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: Pure Hell

Posts: 19
Join Date: November 1st 2010

i cant keep this promise - November 10th 2010, 01:23 AM

i had been SH free for about a week or two because i made a promise, but the other night everything felt like it was falling apart. My dad was yelling and hitting me and my mom wasnt home, then my friends were yelling and bitching and after a few hours of that i couldnt stand it anymore. i cut both horizontally and vertically. i woke up this morning and i couldnt move my arms.. im really kinda freaked. and i've tried to tell someof my friends but they dont even care anymore. i feel like im at the end of my road and it's really scaring me. Now my friend, the one who made me promise, is trying to make me promise again, but i know i wont be able to keep it. im afraid to dissapoint her but.. i dont know what else to do.


{~*Let'sLiveOutOurGrandFinale*~}
  Send a message via MSN to xXKristoferXx  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
dejaentendu0 Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
dejaentendu0's Avatar
 
Name: Liz
Gender: Female
Location: Pittsburgh

Posts: 133
Join Date: March 13th 2010

Re: i cant keep this promise - November 10th 2010, 05:46 AM

To be rather honest, I don't think promises help with self harm. Every promise I made to someone to resist self harm added to my stress and it all backfired. If you don't want to make the promise, don't make it. You don't have to.
You were self harm free for a week or two though, and that IS a good thing. Stopping is a hard thing and recovery comes with relapses. It's common and it's to be expected. Don't let it get you down. Have you looked at the alternatives in the SH forum? If you want to stop, you'll get there. You have to want it though.
As for your friends not caring, maybe you can see a counselor? Or maybe write down how you feel in a way to vent? Because I always found talking about your feelings and what you did to help.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Comfortable Liar
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
misslonelyvisitor's Avatar
 
Name: Alex
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow.

Posts: 7
Join Date: November 10th 2010

Re: i cant keep this promise - November 10th 2010, 11:19 AM

Ouch... in my honest opinion, it's not fair to ask someone to "promise" not to participate in self-mutilation and the like. Like Liz said, it only adds to the stress of trying not to disappoint and trying to keep everyone happy, while still finding your own releases and not swallowing your emotions, ya'know? Repressing is never good; you should always have a way of expressing how you feel. Maybe a journal or a counselor or a trusted friend? Or maybe you could do something creative as a release.
And of course it's not a promise everyone can keep right off the bat. But, hey, you made it awhile without SH and that's something to be proud of. But relapses happen and you shouldn't have to worry about disappointment. Don't ever say you can't stop, though, or that you have no other options. There are always safer crutches and outlets.

Hang in there, dear. :\
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Eternal Offline
Staff On Leave

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
Eternal's Avatar
 
Name: Nicole
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: Seattle

Posts: 12,364
Join Date: October 14th 2010

Re: i cant keep this promise - November 10th 2010, 12:59 PM

Like people have said above, promises arn't the best thing to do in this situation. Your friend should be trying to help you instead. However, she does care. Thats the most important thing. Maybe your friends don't seem to care anymore because you've talked about it so much? Have they seen your cuts? A lot of people have to see it to believe it. I'm really sorry about your parents. If I were you I would just try and stay out of the house as much as possible and go have fun with some friends or doing something you love. Remember that eventually you will be able to move out and you will have the choice to see your parents or not. For now, just hang in there. Take care.


And here you are living, despite it all.
Project Advisor | Disputes Committee | HelpLINK Mentor
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
inactiveprofile Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
inactiveprofile's Avatar
 
Name: .
Age: 23
Gender: Female

Posts: 117
Join Date: June 26th 2010

Re: i cant keep this promise - November 10th 2010, 02:19 PM

As everyone has said above promises rally dont work with this sort of problem :/.I'd seguest not making this promis again theres just no point to it ... Also if you want a quiting buddy or need some one to talk to at any time at all Im only one PM away...Hope I've bean a help...
  Send a message via MSN to inactiveprofile  
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
BloodRedRose Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
BloodRedRose's Avatar
 
Name: Kaycee
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Savannah Ga

Posts: 84
Join Date: August 9th 2010

Re: i cant keep this promise - November 10th 2010, 08:42 PM

When I had people trying to make me promises I wouldn't I told them I couldn't make THAT promises but I'd tell them I'd do my best to NOT hurt myself. I think its a good start that you have gotten so far I also think you should tell your friends that you can't make a promises that you have such a hard time keeping and offer them that you would do your best it usually worked for me that way when I did slip I didn't brake any ones promises and I did try not to.. but sometimes we slip my friends were really understanding of that... and I hope yours will be to
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Release9 Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Release9's Avatar
 

Posts: 213
Join Date: October 27th 2010

Re: i cant keep this promise - November 11th 2010, 12:15 AM

Gosh...I understand your situation.
People do care, though. They just need to see the scars and bruises.
Can you move your arms? Make sure you keep them clean, or they'll get infected.
I'm probably weird, but I would try rewarding myself every week I went without harming myself.
I don't know if you'll use this idea at all, though.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Member
Average Joe
***
 
actingpassion123's Avatar
 
Name: Laura
Age: 26
Gender: Female

Posts: 178
Join Date: May 11th 2010

Re: i cant keep this promise - November 11th 2010, 12:22 AM

promises work for some people, but i don't really like them. b/c if i don't keep it just makes me feel worse.
try stopping for YOUR sake. you are worth it. look at the alternatives forum (it's SO helpful). also, i like the idea of rewards. i've gone over a month w/o self-harming, so I bought myself 3 African Dwarf frogs. Now whenever I have a urge, I go watch them until it goes away
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
promise

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2017, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.