why are my feelings questioned?

[Miserable At Best.]

okay so i was SH free for 2 YEARS i was so proud of myself and i felt so accomplished bt then things at home got worse to the point where i just wanted to run away and never come back and the only reason i did was because im the oldest and i wouldnt b able to live with myself if i left my baby brother and little sister to be the victims of my parents fights, so i started cutting myself again i havent done it for 4 days its not much but at least its something i still have the urge in fact its stronger than its ever been nd im scared i wont b able to stop this time b/c its the only way ive ever been able to express my emotions in my house my emotions and feelings are constantly questioned like y cant i just be pissed just to be pissed? why cant i be sad just to be sad? why does everything i feel have to be questioned? why cant i just feel what i feel?

[Br0k3nSmil3s]

Honestly I can relate to this a lot and understand where you are coming from. It's an amazing acomplishment to be free for 2 years so even though you broke that congrates on it. Expressing your emotions can be really hard especially if they get questioned...Trust me been there not with family but others. As far as stopping I think you should stop and remember how you stopped in the first place and when you have done that see if you want to do it that way or another way. As far as the urges and how they are getting worse I know how that feels to. I have been cut free for 3 years and 7 months I think not sure about the months but I can tell you the longer I go without doing it the worse the thoughts are and the voices in my head telling me to do it. Have you thought about getting a counclor? If you can't do that if you ever need to talk I'm always here.

[Ally_Georgiiie]

Heyy there Tamara
I've bean cutting for two years It's been on and off so I know how hard it is when you think you've stopped and then start again. I Would suguest using the live help thread. But know that you can PM me at anytime you want. I really think you should try extra hard to stop cutting in order to be a good role model for you siblings...Hope I've bean a help.

[Miserable At Best.]

thank yu both you relle have been a help especially since now i kno im not the only one who has dealt with these issues

[MadPoet]

Hey Tamarra.

I think it's really great you were able to go so long without self harm, and I think that you should use the time you spent free from self harm as a motivation for you. There had to have been at least some struggles for you during those two years, so how did you cope with those? There's a lot of other ways to feel better, and they are more permanent solutions.

Have you ever tried writing? You could even write a letter to your family about how you're feeling. It doesn't matter if you give it to them or not. Getting it off your chest and onto paper might make you feel a lot better, and would be a much better solution than self harm. Try writing down you feel whenever you feel like you want to hurt yourself.

You could also just take a walk when you get urges. Clear your mind, get your thoughts away from self harm and from your family. It's nice to take that time alone and just calm down, and it's helped me not to self harm more than once in the past.

I guarantee you'll be able to find something that works for you eventually.

Self harm isn't going to help you, but there are a lot of things that will. You've just got to find them. Best of luck to you. I'm here if you ever need to talk.

[Miserable At Best.]

hmm i have tried writing and it does work but not always. the past 2 years have been so hard i was constantly struggling with myself but thanks for the advice i deffiantly will try it