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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
UltraViolet Offline
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Everythings wrong. - February 22nd 2009, 02:58 PM

and iv just done 'it' again.
i hate myself.
i cant do anything right


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
*Jen* Offline
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Re: Everythings wrong. - February 22nd 2009, 03:03 PM

Hey lea,
Try not to be so hard on yourself because you are obviously going through a really difficult time, which is causing you to turn to self harm to cope with your feelings. You can do things right! You did the right thing by posting this and reaching out for help. It might seem like at the moment you can't do anything right, but that is probably because you are unable to see the things you have done right, since you are focussing on just everything you do wrong.

Do you know what triggered you to self harm? It can help to identify what triggered you so when you are in that situation again there might be something that you could do differently to stop you from self harming.

Lea, I am always here if you ever need someone to talk to. You don't have to be alone with this, ok? It will get better so don't give up :-)
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Everythings wrong. - February 22nd 2009, 03:11 PM

wasnt reaching out.
theres no-one and no=where else that i can b free,
and say oh my god i SH and i cant or wont stop.
cos i cant.
and nothing else remotely works.
eventhough SHing isnt either

im always triggered.
i always want to cut.
i even carry a blade with me sometimes.
i SH everyday.
at least one 'session' of cutting.
i cant stop this.
and i dont c the point not.

i couldnt even sleep the other night, i had cut in the day.
and i thought i woundnt need to at night.
but i got into bed and couldnt settle for over 2 hours.
and i knew it was becasue i hadnt cut.
and i felt bad, and i was gettin anxious, and upset.
so i cut.
and then i slept.
its like another drug to me now.

x x


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Everythings wrong. - February 22nd 2009, 03:14 PM

It's hard to give up SH and sometimes people do feel the need to do it everyday, I know I used to. Have you tried every single alternative to SH http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/showthread.php?t=130 here's a list of them. Try and use every single alternative on that list and see if any of them help. It may seem hard to give up now but it'll get easier. Set yourself a goal such as not cutting for a whole day (or even an hour if you think that'll be easier for you to start off with) and work from there.
   
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Re: Everythings wrong. - February 22nd 2009, 03:29 PM

oh iv tried some of them.
and others to me personally, just seem stupid.
but thats to me.
they might work for others.
just not me.
i cant


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Everythings wrong. - February 22nd 2009, 04:36 PM

How do you know they don't work for you if you haven't tried?
   
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Re: Everythings wrong. - February 22nd 2009, 04:44 PM

If you keep telling yourself you can't stop self harming then it will be much harder to stop and you most likely won't be able to. People can try to help you but at the end of the day it is up to you to make the changes you want in your life. You do have choices. I do agree with Cara, how can you know that all the distractions for self harm won't work if you haven't tried them? Surely, it is worth trying some of the others you haven't rather than assuming they won't work. Taking each day at a time can help things to be more managable.
   
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Re: Everythings wrong. - February 22nd 2009, 04:49 PM

ive tried the ones that i think might work.
like the elastic band and writing.
but i mean the oones like gardening!
i no that wont work.
oh no1 understand me.
and wen did i say i wanted to stop Shin?
i dont want it to rule my life.
and how i sleep.
but i cant not do it at all

x x


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Stay determined
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Re: Everythings wrong. - February 22nd 2009, 05:00 PM

The don't let it rule your life. Take control of it, it's going to be hard at first but if you tell yourself you're not going to do it then stick to that and see how long you can go for without doing it.
   
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Re: Everythings wrong. - February 25th 2009, 11:13 AM

Be strong huni!!! Try evey alternative you can find out about... whats the worst that can happen from trying??
Pm me anytime or find me in chat
xx
  Send a message via MSN to x-x-xblackx-x-xrosex-x-x  
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Everythings wrong. - February 26th 2009, 10:09 PM


You say no one understands you, well what if we from TH, people who have struggled or who are struggling with the same thing you're going through, can step up to say we do? You say you don't want it to rule your life, then the simple answer to that is don't let it.

The more complicated answer is that you are the only one who's in control of you, and you are the only one who's ever going to be able to make this stop. You are the one with the power and the courage and the strength that you need to fight this. This is your battle and yours alone, sure, but we are all here to support you and to see you through to a victorious end.

It starts with a choice and it's a decision it seems you've already made. You have opened up about what you're going through - the feelings and thoughts you're experiencing - and have voiced that this is something you don't want to control your life and the quality of it. Congratulations. You have stepped onto the road to recovery.

The road there lies ahead of you is not the easiest you're ever going to encounter, nor will it be the easiest to navigate, however, it's not impossible. With each step, you will become stronger and more confident in your decision. And I have every confidence that you will, in your time, as this is something only you can do for you, reach the end and return to TH to share your brilliant success.

But as stated, this is something you need to approach not with an "I can't" attitude but with the knowledge that though you will have highs and lows, though there may be relapses, though you may occasionally stumble, you will eventually overcome this addiction. You need to approach your recovery with a clear goal in mind: I am going to be a recovered self-harmer. I would love to sugarcoat what I see as the truth by saying that saying "I can't" is only going to make it more difficult, but I quite personally see saying "I can't" as setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you decided right here, right now, that you're going to fail, I assume that you will.

This is when you need to start countering your thoughts. This can be a difficult habit to get into, but again, it gets easier with time. What I mean by countering is that when you manage to catch yourself saying that this is something you cannot do, turn around and say (mentally, or it helps some people to say so aloud), "No, that's not true. I can do this, and I will." This, in my opinion, is particularly important when you're tempted to relapse or even when you do. Don't look at relapsing as having failed x-number of days; instead, look back and count how many days you went without and be proud of that. Challenge yourself to beat that number and start again taking it one day at a time.

Do try alternatives. Find something that works for you as there's something that works for everyone. Just takes some people a little longer to find it than others.

Good luck and chin up,
Elliotte


If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is a law, and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.
ℑDan Millman

Last edited by playpretend; February 26th 2009 at 10:15 PM.
   
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Re: Everythings wrong. - February 26th 2009, 11:20 PM

Hey, you have another thread here that I think you can continue looking for the same advice in. =) If you'd like this to be reopened, feel free to PM and let me know why.



The best wayout is always through~
-Robert Frost

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