School Triggers

[Dark_Night]

I have such a deep urge to cut. I know it won't come down to it but the urge is so strong. I keep going through my self tlak and I've got back up plans in place but still I figured posting here would help too.

Don't you hate it when school itself becomes a trigger?

This is the last week before Thanksgiving break which is a reason why I'm trying not to give in. It seems at the last minute things are just falling apart. I have a history test that I'm nervous for, I can't find my school ID and everything just doesn't seem to be in place that I just feel like it's all falling apart.

I need to get out of school all ready. I've been having dreams where I didn't even come to school this week and I gave myself a two week vay-cay instead. That's how bad things have gotten. I try to remind myself others have it worse but I can only stay in a place so long before I start getting restless. Even my dorm room is starting to freak me out. I'm clausterphobic (sp?) so there's only so much I can take.

The urge to cut just seems more inviting and I hate it. I wouldn't even know where to cut since my arm is pretty damaged as it is.

I just need something to take the edge off you know?

[.Brittany.]

I understand where you're coming from, school can definitely seem triggering at times. Just do stuff to keep your mind distracted from everything else. The self harm alternatives thread is a great place to start. www.teenhelp.org/alternatives

Do you have someone you can talk to at all?

[Dark_Night]

I am going to therapy in a couple of hours.

I've been able to keep myself occupied but I can't seem to make the thoughts go away. I've even resorted to using my snaps and that becomes a last resort before I give into the cutting (haven't yet).

ETA-

Damn it therapist wasn't there. I hate my phone service because I never get any of my voicemail messages. Instead it tells me to leave a voice message instead.

Barely hanging on. Gonna try to do some stuff to keep myself distracted. The day is nearly over, soon I'll be off to bed and then I won't have to deal. Just less than a day, trying to hold on.