Am I horrible..?

[taylalatbh.]

(Please feel free to close this if it offends people)

Am I horrible for not being able to sympathise with self harmers? I just can't get my head around it. Yeah, I know all the 'facts' about it, and I know stuff, but I just can't get it. Why would you want to harm yourself?! That's your body, you were given the gift of life and you're just going to harm your body just like that? It doesn't help anything, and more often than not you regret it after and just feel terrible about it. And then even further in the future, when you've grown up and matured, you regret it twice as much.

I just can't allow myself to understand why people do it and I can't sympathise with them. I find it really difficult to help and advise anyone going through self harm 'issues'. I just can't talk to someone who is threatening to hurt their bodies.

Shout at me if you wish, I don't mind. But I just needed to rant this.

[Sarah.Lizzy.B]

ok when i self harmed ages ago everything felt better because their was a different pain a physically pain not emotional and its easier to get other a physically pain.
but also you don't think before you just get angry i have also just been so made at myself that i wanted to die

i'm ok now started talking to people so i haven't done it in ages
hope this helps you understand

[ChaosControl]

Hey Tayla,

I don't think you're horrible to think this; it's a difficult issue to understand if you haven't experienced it personally. I think you're lucky that you don't quite understand the motives because hopefully that means you're not likely to start self-harming.

To be honest I think a lot of people who self-harm don't really understand why they do it either...they know it's a way of coping yet they also know it's a really bad addiction. People do regret it, but in the heat of the moment it's very difficult to fight back against the triggers and that can lead to self-destructive impulses or urges. Wanting to hurt oneself is often a way of releasing tension and coping with problems, albeit a detrimental one, but that is often how the problem arises.

It's OK to feel like you can't help people with this sort of problem, because people give advice on different things and I know you give good advice on lots of other topics. No-one can force you to talk about things you don't want to, so try not to worry about it.

[Fictional]

I can count - probably on one hand - the amount of people who empathise with self-injurers but don't hurt themselves. I think it's one of those things that you cant really understand until you've done it yourself. I know when I self-harmed, it was because it was a physical outlet for emotional pain, and when you're doing it, it feels good. It becomes addictive, just like smoking and taking drugs. If you don't sympathise, then that's fine, but I wouldn't reccomend being too outspoken about it. Until you've been there yourself, you'll only be at risk of offending people.

[Rainbow Dash]

I don't think you're a bad person at all. I think SH is just one of those things you have to experience yourself to understand why people do it.

[taylalatbh.]

I've experienced it and I still don't get it. Ive had terrible things happen in my life, enough to warrant self harming, and I'm sure I'm probably clinically depressed or something. But that still doesn't mean I understand or can sympathise.

I appreciate the comments but I can't help but feel that I'm being told I'm wrong because I haven't 'experienced' it so I don't understand.

Meh. I regret making this thread now.

[PutYourHeartsUp]

You aren't horrible Tayla, and I don't really think it's something you don't understand because you've never done it.
I think it's kind of stupid, it goes against every logical instinct. And this is coming from someone that has a lot of experience with self harm. Despite having SHed myself, I find it hard to try to help others with the same issue. So you aren't horrible.

[ChaosControl]

I'm sorry if I jumped to the conclusion that you haven't experienced it, as such. It's still good if you don't resort to self-harm; hopefully you have other ways to deal with stress and pressure. PM me if you ever need to talk about anything.

[noise94]

Tbh given the fact that you're an LHO and should be dealing with self harmers on a regular basis I think it's quite worrying that you can't empathize or even ''just can't talk to someone who is threatening to hurt their bodies.''

I don't think you're horrible but I do think this thread is mean. I don't understand how rape victims feel or how people can starve themselves to the point of death, but I have the sense not to go into those forums and question how true their- as you say ''issues'' are. I may not understand them, but I do sympathize and would have no problem talking to them about such things... especially if I was a LHO.

I think it's unfair of you to get on the defensive, as people are only telling you as it is.

[taylalatbh.]

I would like to request this thread to be closed. I feel somewhat 'attacked' and I'm displeased because I know I will be judged and talked about because of this. And I'm upset that I've made myself come across as an uncaring person. I strive to help and support other people and now I feel like I have ruined my 'reputation' around here.

Sorry to all I might have offended with my opinion.

[ShaShannon]

You are not a horrible person. I get where you're coming from. I used to cut and I still do sometimes. When I do, I regret it. It really is hard to understand if you haven't experienced it. I didn't understand why kids at my school were doing it. Somethings we can't understand or never understand. When you talk to someone ask them to not do it when they are talking to you and try to figure out he cause of the problem.

[Loving Linux Penguin]

Well I can understand that scientifically it can provide momentary pleasure from endorphins etc., but honestly I wouldn't ever want to harm my body. That's why I just draw frowns on my hand sometimes.

[.TJ.]

Originally Posted by ChaseThisLight

Tbh given the fact that you're an LHO and should be dealing with self harmers on a regular basis I think it's quite worrying that you can't empathize or even ''just can't talk to someone who is threatening to hurt their bodies.''

I don't think you're horrible but I do think this thread is mean. I don't understand how rape victims feel or how people can starve themselves to the point of death, but I have the sense not to go into those forums and question how true their- as you say ''issues'' are. I may not understand them, but I do sympathize and would have no problem talking to them about such things... especially if I was a LHO.

I think it's unfair of you to get on the defensive, as people are only telling you as it is.

Self harm is totally different than rape or an ED? Rape, it's obvious why you would empathize with them, and with ED's the starving, it improves their self image. That's why they do it.

SH is a mental thing, the pain is more of a way to physically conjoure( idk the right word) everything so you can physically feel it and see it.

Hope this helps you understand it a little better tayla. (And F you to all the people attacking her. )

[Pandamonium]

Thread is being closed at user request.