I feel like i NEED to sh. i need to cut. i know i don't. i know it's all in my head, but thats what it seems like. i think maybe my birth control could be making it worse, but i can't stop taking it right now. i don't know how to kill these urges. the one thing that's stopping me is if he finds them i know it'll be super bad i try the alternatives, but alot of them don't really work. the ones that do ive done over and over and my roommate thinks i'm crazy. i try talking to my best friend, but i can't dump any more on him. i'm not sure what else to do.
There is a couple of things that I think you should do. First go to the doctor and see if you can get put on a different birth control, you don't have to tell them why just tell them that it doesn't make you feel well. Second if you are not seeing a therapist right now try to see one. Your college should have a health center where you can go to see a counselor and if not ask your doctor to reccomend one. I hope this helped.
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars."
"For those who don't care, for those who can't see, never give up, always thrive to be free."
You feel like you need it because your body has become dependent upon you cutting. When you hurt yourself, your cells release little pain killers that are known to work even better than some drugs! Now, when you're in pain, you want it to stop so immediately you pick up that stupid little blade that stares at you in the corner. I know it's hard to stop and i can seriously relate to what it feels like wanting nothing more than to feel metal to skin. I haven't actually stopped myself, but i know i need to, and so do you or you may do something you'll regret. Try challenging yourself and measuring how long you can go without cutting. I've tried it and it kinda helps. Be strong and fight! Get better.