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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
lostrunaway Offline
Yepp, its Beth
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Name: Beth
Age: 25
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Join Date: February 22nd 2009

Post im just alone now, since of the SI. - February 23rd 2009, 08:27 PM

so i SI....

well im all confused inside these days,
and it seems like everyone is just leaving me and not wanting to hang out with me. im trying to be the friendliest i can, but sometimes i cant control it and im just really bitchy i guess.
so yeah ANYWAYS... i cut myself, and i burn anything, but lately its all ive been thinking about, and what i want to do, plus i just want to be alone latley, which is not like me. is it because of the cutting that is making me like this?
and has anyone else had experence that your family and friends just seem to leave you out, and try to be nice to you, but seriously, you even know they are trying hard.

i guess what im saying is, im turely lonely, once my friends figured out, only two of them except me now, maybe 3. but i just need help. but i dont know where to go.

i reall REALLY REALLY apperciate all of your post, and time to read this huge thing. hopefully its not a waste of your time.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
almostinvisible Offline
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Re: im just alone now, since of the SI. - February 23rd 2009, 08:52 PM

Hey Beth,
It is really difficult. It is a possibility that because of your self-harm you feel more alone than usual. Eventually it becomes so addicting that it's all you can think about and want which will then make you feel more isolated, even if you really aren't. Have you told your parents that you self-harm? It would help if you talked to them about it and tried to set up something you could do such as counselling or think of ways to stop. If you aren't able to do that you should definitely try talking to a guidance counselor at school, a teacher or trusted relative you could confide in.
Try making yourself get out more whether hanging out with friends or just going for a walk or something so you aren't alone as much. It can cause you to feel more alone if you're by yourself often. You can get through this. Feel free to PM me anytime.


You're everything I know that makes me believe
I'm not alone
You're in everyone I see
So tell me
Do you see me?
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
*Jen* Offline
keep smiling :-)
Outside, huh?
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Re: im just alone now, since of the SI. - February 23rd 2009, 09:17 PM

Hey Beth,
I am really sorry that you are feeling like this. Your not wasting anyones time and I am glad you posted this :-) Self harm does isolate you from other people and does make you feel very alone. You should try talking to someone you trust about how you are feeling. You don't have to be alone. I am here if you ever need someone to talk to :-)
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
lostrunaway Offline
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Re: im just alone now, since of the SI. - February 23rd 2009, 10:03 PM

hey thank you both, for your suport and help.
i cant tell my parents, cuz i know thats just the wrong place to go.
im thinking about talking with my guidence concular before it gets any worse,
but im not sure.

thank you once again, for the help, it means so much to me.
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
silentmuffin Offline
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Re: im just alone now, since of the SI. - February 23rd 2009, 10:23 PM

Cutting might be the reason you want to be alone. First of all, the cutting makes you feel uncomfortable being around people because you don't want them to find out, or don't trust them with that kind of secret. But also, you're probably feeling some sort of satisfaction from cutting...that's why you keep doing it. Being around friends doesn't give you that feeling anymore, so you just resort to being alone and getting that satisfaction elsewhere.

That's part of what makes SI so difficult to overcome. It becomes the only thing that seems to give you what you need. But in reality, that's simply because you've cut off the other sources of pleasure and happiness and friendship.

If your friends seem to be avoiding you, first step back and see if maybe you're the one pushing them away. Are you being distant, or moody, or keeping them out of your life? If not, then it's very possible they just don't know what to do about the situation, and don't want to make your problems worse by not being able to fix everything for you. Just let your friends know that you value and love their friendship, and that you're not expecting them to solve all your problems. You just want them to be there for support, and to help you celebrate as things get better.

Talking to a guidance counselor would probably be a good idea. They're trained to deal with these sorts of things, and their job is specifically to be there for you in these kinds of situations. Having someone there to back you up and help you find the right track to get on to get better will help a lot.


Aš tave myliu, Nanny. I'm carrying your love with me.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: im just alone now, since of the SI. - February 23rd 2009, 11:25 PM

Heey Beth,
i'm really glad you posted this because it made me realize why is selfharmed..
Because i felt alone and no one understood.
I have to say something but please don't take this offencive or anything ..
but alot of ppl once they start their habits SH, Drugs and alcohol..
they become bitchier and crankier then they were cause now they are craving something ...
that's why you might feel liek your being bitchy..
if you don't want to be alone maybe call up a friend or whatever ..
it helps even if you don't want to talk to the world.
i've skipped a grade and had to restart it the next year because i hated the world. . .
all i'm saying is maybe talk to someone about it ...
i know their is people out there that love you ....
anyways hope i helped at all ..
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
lostrunaway Offline
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Re: im just alone now, since of the SI. - February 24th 2009, 12:48 AM

thank you both,
im still trying to figure out some things,
and tomorrow im seeing if i can get a meeting with a guidence concular
thank you for all your support and help
hopefully i can get help. too.



The stars at night are big and bright
Deep in your eyes, Miss Vincent
You told me once I made you smile
But we both know damn well I didn't
I'm not much of a jester, but I'd test poisoned food for you
Your majesty, you're royal blue
I'm royalty, my king of pain
-ALKALINE TRIO
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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
*Jen* Offline
keep smiling :-)
Outside, huh?
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Re: im just alone now, since of the SI. - February 24th 2009, 10:25 AM

Hey Beth,
I hope you are able to find the courage to see the counsellor. You have been really brave :-)
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
lostrunaway Offline
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Re: im just alone now, since of the SI. - February 24th 2009, 08:52 PM

well, i was a coward and i didnt see her today,
i dont know what or how, i just couldnt. it was too hard.
im gonna try again, or maybe talk to one of my teachers that knows me persaonly.



The stars at night are big and bright
Deep in your eyes, Miss Vincent
You told me once I made you smile
But we both know damn well I didn't
I'm not much of a jester, but I'd test poisoned food for you
Your majesty, you're royal blue
I'm royalty, my king of pain
-ALKALINE TRIO
  Send a message via AIM to lostrunaway  
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
blackrose
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Re: im just alone now, since of the SI. - February 25th 2009, 10:15 AM

Hey beth!! Hugs!! wow you really are such a brave stong girl ! Go you for getting help, its not easy to do but you are doing it so GO YOU!!! Yeah speak to anyone.. a teacher sounds like a good idea cos teachers generally are better to go to [ in my opinion] cos they know you personally and youl be able to see them on a regualr basis. Go luck with it hun.
PM me or find me in chat.. i love to listen =]
xx
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