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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
HurtAndLost Offline
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Unhappy They found out - December 23rd 2010, 04:11 PM

My parents just found out that I cut myself. My mom saw them and looked at my whole arm, then told my dad. They both told me to stop but i cant, i did fir about 4 days but now i started again. Honestly i dont want to it helps me and they dont understand. And now its turned to the point to where i do it when im bored.
   
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Re: They found out - December 23rd 2010, 04:17 PM

when my parents found out my mom screamed and my dad didnt look at me, not the best way to get ur kid to stop, but i stoped for about a week before i started again. Scince then i also go to the point where i do it when im bored, but it started to scare me so i told another trusted adult, not related to me, and shes helping me to stop. I hope you can find somebody to talk to. good luck! PM if you ever need to


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: They found out - December 23rd 2010, 04:24 PM

I think that you should try to talk to your parents. Let them know that you are struggling and let them know that they can help you. Your parents can put you in counseling so you can deal with your cutting. I am in the camp that you can't stop until you truly want to stop--just because your parents want you to does not mean that you will be able to. If you are determined and you truly want to quit, then I believe that you will be able to do so with the right support system.

When my parents found out that I was cutting, they didn't provide me with any support at all. Which is most likely why in attempts to stop cutting, I have failed. I strongly encourage you talk to your parents about your self injury and educate them about self injury. Let them know why you do it and provide them with some resources about self harm (can easily find some online).


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Re: They found out - December 23rd 2010, 04:25 PM

Hey there.

Parent's finding out about their children self harming is really hard for them because it obviously bring up worries and concerns.

I hated my parents finding it because I guess it made things awkward for a few weeks until they started to move on from it.

But maybe, this is a good thing for you. Maybe this can be your turning point and this is where you can start talking to people and start getting help (If you want it). Your parents love you and care about you and want you to be okay. Could you try talking to them about it? Or perhaps you could look in to therapy especially if there is a deeper issues that is causing the self harm.

Basically, try and look at your parents finding out as a positive, or if you feel it's a bad thing try and turn it in to your turning point to try and make it a good thing. People want to help but they can only do so if you let them in. I know that's hard, but just because it's hard doesn't mean you can't do it.

For now try using the distractions. When ever you feel an urge do something to occupy your mind. Perhaps you could keep a diary as well to write down your feelings etc and to perhaps help yourself discover what the triggers are to help yourself avoid them in the future and also keep a list of what distractions help so you can use them more.

I hope this helps and I hope thing's start to look up. Hang in there!
Jessie,


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: They found out - December 23rd 2010, 04:28 PM

When my mom found out she was angry but my dad he talked to me but he doesnt understand, they think i have stopped but i havnt
   
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Re: They found out - December 23rd 2010, 10:33 PM

Parents finding out can be really scary. Though they're always telling us "I know what it's like, I was a kid before too.", they really don't know. The reason they can react so angry, or confused, or horrified, is because they have no idea why their child is hurting them self; that, and they're probably feeling guilty they never noticed before.
That being said, it really is a good idea to talk to your parents. They love you, and want what's best for you; so while they may not ever understand your SH, they clearly want you to stop, and will get you the help you need.
Self harm really is an addiction, and though you may not want to quit, it's in your absolute best interest to find help. Talk to your parents hon, start getting help at your own pace. Otherwise they'll only re-discover the wounds some other time, and you'll be thrown into a world of rehab that you won't be in the least bit prepared for.


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Re: They found out - December 23rd 2010, 11:12 PM

I know what you mean. When my parents found out- they freaked. My mom got really angry, and my dad got quite upset. I've been in a mental hospital (php), therapy, on meds, etc. They don't seem to understand that I'm not trying to kill myself. It's always hard when other people find out. I've been caught 5 times... it sucks worse after each.

I'm sorry it's gotten to the point where boredom is a trigger. Do you think there are any distractions you could try? I've found that drawing on myself with red marker helps. It looks sort of like blood, but it doesn't do any harm to your body. Music, exercise, writing, and art can also be useful.

I hope you're doing ok. Feel free to send a PM if you need


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