So I scratched again the other day... It was better than what I wanted to do though (choke myself). I've been emotional lately and my mom didn't agree with my opinion (and still wants to change it). So I was crying and I scratched myself... *sigh*
Never Give Up On Your Dreams No Matter How Hard Or Big They May Seem..... Someday you will reach them...
I'm sorry!! It's hard to stop and I'm glad you chose to scratch rather than choke yourself but maybe you should keep a diary of some sort..that's good emotional release too!! and it helps you better understand everything about yourself and others and why ppl act the way they do too...idk...helped me through A LOT!! lol
I've had that happen to me many times - something triggers negative experience, gets carried away with it, and before you realize it, you've managed to inflict harm upon yourself as an instinctive, unconscious reaction. Don't beat yourself up over it - things happen. It's so important to avoid getting caught in that vicious cycle of self harm -> feel bad over self-harming -> more self harm as a result. Sure, you had one slip-up, but you can always start again - treat this as a learning experience. Now that you have identified one more risky situation, what can you do to prevent the same slip up from occurring in the future?
Ah, mothers. My mom and her unforgiving stubbornness is a big trigger for me too - so I am learning now to interact with her more tactfully, after countless vain and traumatizing attempts at effective communication. If the mention of a certain issue or ideas will inevitably lead to loss of self-control, identify the issue - and avoid it as much as possible, in future conversations. Divert the subject if you can, try to lead into some indirectly related topic. If that fails, as much as I hate being dishonest in so many ways, if I must do it to protect myself, I will. Things like playing along with the attempts to crush individual thinking. I know one day I will tell her the truth, as well as apologize - but I'm not ready for it now, and that's all okay. Life places us in frustrating positions at times, and that's just how life is.
But anyway, that's just my experience - yours may be vastly different. No matter what, I hope you stay strong, and do not give up or give in easily.
Take care for now, feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.