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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
.xX.shadow.Xx. Offline
;;looking for a second chance-
Welcome me, I'm new!
.xX.shadow.Xx.'s Avatar
Name: Aven Nikolai
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Location: ;;somewhere in my head---

Posts: 16
Blog Entries: 8
Join Date: August 5th 2010

;;almost did it this time--- (CAUTION) - December 26th 2010, 06:47 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

....I loved him, or should I say her...
...she lied to me. I won't allow myself to forget...

...I carved her name in my chest...
...the months we shared are ticked off on my wrists...
...if I could, I'd rip my heart from my chest...
...I think I tried, I think I tried to do just that...

...but I still love her, even after she told me, point blank...

...I don't know how to move on...
...I don't know if I can...
...somebody give me some hope to cling to...
...in this torrential storm I call life, my hope's fading fast...

...I'll deal with the scars another day...
...I just need to make it to that day...

Dec. 31th, 2010:
21 days since I chose to change
7 since I was last used
6 since I last harmed myself
1 day since I cried
  Send a message via MSN to .xX.shadow.Xx.  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
TheLittleNinja Offline
I'm a secret ninja ;)
I've been here a while
TheLittleNinja's Avatar
Name: Claiiiiiiiiire
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 1,209
Blog Entries: 22
Join Date: January 20th 2009

Re: ;;almost did it this time--- (CAUTION) - December 26th 2010, 02:43 PM

Hey There Aven

Firstly, I just want to let you know, that I've felt like you have before - and I can understand 99.9% where you are coming from. I also want to apologise if what I say next comes across quite hard - I don't intend it to

If this person that you are in love with, has that to you, then you need to move on and forget about them. Someone that says such a horrible thing is not needed in your life; as a friend or a lover. There ARE people out there who WILL love you 100% for being yourself I can read in this post the amount of love that you hold for this person - but wouldn't you like to give your love to someone who would love you back?

I say all this, yet I know how hard it is to get over someone. It wasn't that long ago that I felt this way towards someone else, I wanted to do all the things you talked about, some of them I followed through with - but what got me out of the depression? Some really HARSH words from a good friend of mine. They made me understand that I was a good person, and that I should wait and find someone who would love me back as much as I loved them - that's what I'm trying to get across to you.

I feel that when someone posts in the Self Harm forum, they have begun to understand that Self Harm isnt the answer to lifes problems. In some ways I believe that understanding things need to change is the hardest step on the road to recovery.

Have you thought about finding an alternative to self harming? By alternative I mean either something that takes your mind off self harming (such as writing, doodling or going for a walk) OR a physical alternative - something that still gives you a physical feeling (such as holding ice cubes or pinging elastic bands against your arm). There's a HUUUUGE list of alternatives that can be found right here: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/

I think that you should also think about Journalling - writing down all your emotions and feelings? It's not healthy to keep emotions pent up inside, and often it's hard to talk about these sorts of things with other people - which is why many people decide to write about how they feel.

Both these things I've mentioned, may or may not work for you - it can often take time to find something that works for YOU.

You asked for someone to give you some hope to hold onto, I can only try my best...

But, I really DO believe that there is someone out there who will love you for who you are. You should never have to change yourself to please someone else.

Try and do something every day that makes you smile; it's often the simplest things Maybe you could go out with some friends, try and cheer yourself up, learn to laugh from your heart again

But whatever you do, don't quit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkCFeNeqyHk it always helps me when I feel like you do - it might help you too.

If you ever need someone to talk to, don't hesitate in giving me and email or a visitor message

I hope this helps just a little bit,
Take Care,
-- Claire x

I'm still alive.
Must have been a miracle
It's been one hell of a ride
Destination still unkown
It's a fact of life: If you make one wrong move with a gun to your head
You better walk the line or you'll be left for dead.

I'm a runaway train on a broken track
I'm the ticker on the bomb that you can't turn back
Thats right.
I got away with it all and I'm still alive.
Let the end of the world come tumbling down.
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
As long as hot blood runs through my veins
I'm still alive.
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abandoned, caution, cutting, hope, losing, time, triggering or suicidal

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