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Three Months W/out SH but I want to right now - December 30th 2010, 02:59 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I really need to talk to someone right now. I feel so out of control and I just want to cry and cut. I haven't cut myself in three months (since I am in recovery from ED and my SH habits). Recently I have been scared when I was around scissors because I felt like i might relapse and i have made so much progress. I REALLY need to cut right now. I can feel the anxiety and disappointment and control inside of me and I just want to get it out. I tried drawing a picture of my wrist and marking that up, but it did nothing. Help, please.


"Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel like you're less than, less than perfect. Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like your nothing, you are perfect to me."
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"Because you are precious in my eyes and glorious, and because I love you, I give men in return for you and peoples in exchange for your life." -Isaiah 43:4
   
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Re: Three Months W/out SH but I want to right now - December 30th 2010, 03:24 PM

Hello

Firstly, well done. 3 months without SH is an amazing accomplishment and you should be so proud. So many people strive to achieve something like that and they really struggle, I'm so proud that you've managed it <3

Secondly, you don't NEED to cut, you feel like you need to, but you really don't. I know how tempting it is, but you need to distract yourself for as long as you can, and constantly keep in mind that you've gone 3 months without hurting yourself, and that you can go another day. If you can hang in there today, I'm sure when you wake up the next morning, you'll feel a lot better, and probably won't want to cut so badly anymore.

You can hold on and make it through, I know you can.

Make sure you don't have any scissors or blades or anything else that you could hurt yourself with around, okay? If there's nothing to harm yourself with, you're less likely to do it, obviously.

You said that you tried drawing your wrist and marking it, which is really good because it means that you're trying to avoid it. Well done. Maybe you need to do something else like draw a butterfly where you want to cut and 'look after it' or you could use ice blocks for temporary relief, or go for a walk, listen to music, read a book, write every emotion you're feeling down and then rip it up. Try and find what works for you.

Please hang in there, stay strong <3


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Re: Three Months W/out SH but I want to right now - December 30th 2010, 10:03 PM

i promise you can get through this feeling without harming yourself. i am going on a year without cutting and there are urges from time to time. you just have to tough it through them, and after awhile they go away more and more. you've made it 3 months. why not see how long you can go, treat yourself to something nice for making it this far.




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Re: Three Months W/out SH but I want to right now - December 31st 2010, 03:15 AM

Thanks so much you guys. Last night was bad. I just wanted to cut so bad! I just sat crying in my bathroom on the floor. I still want to cut now but the feeling isn't as strong as it was in the moment. I ended up not cutting yet and I am trying not to. I just keep trying to distract myself and let the feeling pass. I baked cookies today and stared at the burning hot trays to keep my mind busy. These past three months have been hard, especially since I had gotten really bad right before I stopped. Now, I am just afraid that all of my hard work will have gone to waste. I am hanging in there. I'm not yet free of my desire, but some day I will get there.


"Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel like you're less than, less than perfect. Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like your nothing, you are perfect to me."
-Pink (Perfect)
"Because you are precious in my eyes and glorious, and because I love you, I give men in return for you and peoples in exchange for your life." -Isaiah 43:4
   
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