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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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What do I do(Triggering maybe) - February 25th 2009, 08:55 PM

Im being triggered everyday to hurt. I mean its all around me. I dont want to. Cause f I do i'll lose my bf. What do i do??
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Re: What do I do(Triggering maybe) - February 25th 2009, 09:38 PM

awww hun that is hard? have you tried doing other things to distract you? or doing relaxing things? the rubber band trick works wonders for me. what specifically is triggering you? can you eliminate any of your triggers?

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Re: What do I do(Triggering maybe) - February 25th 2009, 09:44 PM

well fran cuts in class so that hurts :/ but im trying the rubber band thing starting today
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Re: What do I do(Triggering maybe) - February 25th 2009, 09:59 PM

I hope the rubber band is helping you a bit. There are many other distractions you could try if you check out the distraction thread on here. Is it anything in particular that is triggering you to self harm? It does help to identify what is triggering you so then you can see if you can deal with it differently. You say you will lose your boyfriend if you self harm. Is your boyfriend not being supportive of you? I guess though it can be hard for someone who cares about you to accept that you are hurting yourself. Stay strong and don't give in because you can do this :-)
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Re: What do I do(Triggering maybe) - February 25th 2009, 10:08 PM

He supports me. But he says by staying with me when im doing that he will imply that its ok. My friends trigger me. They cut and all this other stuff. Also I feel a physical need to. I get headaches and they won't stop. But when I feel pain it goes away. Its almost like a drug :/
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Re: What do I do(Triggering maybe) - February 26th 2009, 08:15 PM

I know how hard it is when your significant other pressures you to stop [for them]...have you tried explaining that this isn't exactly an easy habit to quit? Tell him that you WANT to stop, you're willing to put in the effort and his support is extremely important to you, but he has to realize that just like everyone else kicking a bad habit you're going to have relapses.

Alternatives are interesting, but you need to find a secure and healthy way to get your release. Hard exercises are good for getting your mind on your body and off your emotions, without having to bleed in the process. And I've found the rubber band/ice cubes in the hand/etc tricks that involve a strong sensation are also helpful. If you can't find anything on the list that helps you, make your own personalized alternative (maybe enlist your boyfriend to suggest ideas, since he knows you well)

Another thing to help with the urges is putting away the tools you usually use so that you have to think more before you act. Also, have you seen a therapist or doctor? Even just talking to an adult is important to getting help. You don't have to do this alone; the only thing that's completely up to you is DECIDING TO STOP. Believe me, you'll feel better and feel more successful if you're not just guilting yourself cause of other ppl.

Hope this helps, and good luck dear! PM if you want to talk


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Re: What do I do(Triggering maybe) - March 1st 2009, 10:54 AM

hey hunni.. check out the alternatives in this forum they are full of differnent way to try and stop cutting.. ones for if you want the pain.. or the mark or the look of blood.. check them out they are really helpful

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Re: What do I do(Triggering maybe) - March 1st 2009, 11:04 AM


Firstly it's important to remember that you are not alone, there are thousands, if not millions of people accross the world that get triggered every day! In one way, getting triggered every day, or slipping up helps you to identify what is going on, and what makes you want to Self Harm. Do you know what triggers you?

When you know what triggers you, you can look at trying to avoid that trigger, to stay away from self harm. If you do get triggered though, i woiuld suggest you look at the Alternatives to Self Harm thread. There are some great distraction techniques, and there must be quite a few that work for you

Once you aren't getting triggered every day, you can start to cut down, and finally stop your self harm. Think of maybe 5 reasons to stop (Your boyfriend being one) and write them down, then look at them and say them out loud whenever you feel like you want to self harm. Shout them out if you have to! You can visit the Self harm free! thread when you are stopping to let us know how many days it has been. You can then count with everybody as we all stop


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Re: What do I do(Triggering maybe) - March 1st 2009, 06:26 PM

I've got so much to say to your posts, so bear with me here.

I don't think that your boyfriend should be leaving you because you are cutting. Cutting is a problem that you have and he should accept you as you are. You shouldn't have to chose between him and something that you are addicted to. I really think that you should find some resources to show him on the internet so you can educate him about self harm. This site can be great references for family and friends of people who self harm. Those links are just two of many, Google can be your friend in finding more. :-)

I'm very against using the rubber band as a method of controlling your self harm. If you have ever read the novel Snap you will know about a girl who used rubber bands solely as a way to punish herself when she did things wrong. "Snapping", as using rubber bands is called, is almost just as bad as cutting. At the end of the day, you are still hurting yourself. There are so many other alternatives out there that do not involve physical pain. This has really good information about rubber bands and things that you can do instead of using a rubber band. I will say, however, that I would rather see someone snapping a rubber band than cutting so if it is between the two, then I would chose the rubber band. That's just me personally. I've snapped rubber bands myself before, and if you aren't just gently flicking them as the alternative suggests, then you can do some serious damage. That used to be the only way I could make it through school though.

I definitely think you need to do something about these girls cutting in school. Where are they cutting at? I would suggest letting a teacher know. They need help, as well as you. Finding a teach that all of y'all could talk to would be a good idea in my opinion.

Finally Bunny, I want to say that if you ever need to talk then you should feel free to contact me. I'd be happy to help you in any way possible. Posting on the forums can be a great way to vent. You also need to identify what triggers you and try to remove yourself from that situation in anyway possible.


Last edited by Rob; September 10th 2010 at 02:20 AM.
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