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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
LlamaLlamaDuck Offline
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Therapy? - January 6th 2011, 03:41 PM

So recently my parents found out that I didn't stop self harming like I told them I had. (By recently, I mean around 2 months ago)
When my grandfather died at the end of November, they told me to use that as a reason to stop. They said to imagine if he could see me doing that to myself, what would he think. So I did stop. And it's been 7 weeks.
But my mum is making me see my doctor again (I was due to go back after new year anyway just to see how things are going) She keeps telling me I have 'psychological problems' and my dad has, on more than one occasion, straight out asked me 'Have you been cutting yourself?' to the point that I've openly invited them to check just to get them to back off.
I'm quite happy with how long I've gone without it so far since before I never got any further than about 3 weeks.
Basically mum has said that I can go myself if I want to (I'm refusing to let her some in with me) but if the doctor doesn't do anything to help, she's going up herself and demanding help for me. She wants me put in therapy.
I saw a counsellor in March who I told about the self harm and some paranoia issues. He said to go back in 4 months because I'd get over it. I went back, he ignored my explanations of the paranoid feelings being worse and didn't bother with the self harm. He said I was fine and sent me on my way. I don't need therapy!
I tried speaking to a counsellor in college which I stopped after one session because he just stared at me and went 'Mhm... Yeah... Mhm...' even when I wasn't talking.

So, in a nutshell: No self harm for 7 weeks. Mum insists I have problems and wants me in therapy. I don't want to see a counsellor. She won't listen.
I'm 18, so surely I can decide for myself what I want, right?

Any ideas or advice is appreciated.


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Re: Therapy? - January 6th 2011, 03:46 PM

Hey

You're eighteen and when you seem to get to that age and are going/think about/or are in mental health organisations, you suddenly tend to have to take all responsibility, which I guess is understandable but it all seems to happen a bit suddenly. So yes, you can have therapy or not, it is up to you.

I know you say you don't want to go to it Nat, but please think about it because it could be something you really benefit on and might just give you that push up which you need to help feel better. I know its scary and everything, but it could really be worth it. Don't just block it out and say no, think about, talk about it, even see your doctor and discuss it. Just don't completely turn your back on it.

If it can help, it's worth a shot, right?

Jessie. <3


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Re: Therapy? - January 6th 2011, 04:45 PM

Yes, at 18 you can probably decide whether to have therapy or not.
But as Jessie says, it must at least be an option. As much as it's brilliant that you haven't self-harmed in 7 weeks, and I always have the utmost admiration for those who can do it
Just because the 'symptom' has gone away doesn't mean the problems have, doesn't mean what was driving your need to self-harm has been resolved and doesn't mean that you don't need therapy.. If anything now that your stopping for what you hope will be more permanantly in a way losing your 'current' coping mechanism you will need more support to help you re-develop others and maintain going without self-harm because it is hard to just go without. PM me if you need me. xox


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уσυ ℓєт υѕ 3rd мαян 2011.
ι ωιℓℓ мιѕѕ уσυ σяєνєя 3




   
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LlamaLlamaDuck Offline
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Re: Therapy? - January 6th 2011, 09:19 PM

Thanks for the replies, guys.
I guess I never really knew why I was doing it. I don't have much of a root cause, it just kind of happened. My parents think I just tried it because my friend was doing it and got hooked.
I tried speaking to 2 counsellors already and it just wasn't for me because they expected me to just trust them and talk and say everything the first time.
Admittedly they were both male and I find speaking to my female doctor a lot easier. I guess I just feel weird about a complete stranger knowing the ins and outs of my life, you know? =/ I don't know if it'd help or not.


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One day like this a year would see me right


We are the rainbow
Or click here for some grovelling.
   
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Re: Therapy? - January 7th 2011, 03:41 AM

I think you should try therapy again... Sometimes it takes a few tries to get the right person. I know this happened with me, at least. (For example, the first lady I saw when I was suicidal, told me life was only going to get worse. I was not too pleased and stopped going to see her. The lady I am currently with is wonderful though.)

Maybe you could try finding someone who deals specifically with self-harm? They would best know how to help you, and then it wouldn't be so awkward or hard to bring it up. They can help you figure out why you started self-harming in the first place.

And I understand not wanting to spill your guts in front of a stranger. And honestly, you don't have to and they won't expect you to. They know better than anyone how it feels to start therapy. So feel free to make simple chit-chat, or just lightly touch on a subject... As long as you pay them, they don't care, haha. But it really does help. Once you find the right person, they become a really great support system.

But as you said, you are 18 and ultimately it's your choice. If you don't feel like you need it, no one can force you into it. But I still think it'd be a good idea, even though you haven't harmed in 7 weeks (which is awesome, by the way! Did I mention that? Longer than I've gone, that's for sure, haha.)

So, yeah, that's just my opinion. In any event, take care, kay? And keep up the good work.


How far do I have to go to make you understand?
I wanna make this work so much it hurts...
But I just can't keep on giving, go on living with the way things are.
So I'm gonna walk away, and it's up to you to say how far...
   
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