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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Confused - January 8th 2011, 03:00 PM

I've been self harming for a while and have been trying many different ways to stop. But the other day i got into a fight with my boyfriend, i start mouthing off and he started hitting me. Later on that day when i was in my room looking at the bruises and it gave me a really strong urge to cut. I really don't understand why, because he had already hurt me alot. confused.
   
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Re: Confused - January 8th 2011, 03:16 PM

Charlotte, you didn't deserve the pain. You don't deserve pain from yourself or from your boyfriend. No matter what you said he should never have hit you. I know this is scarry, but you need to tell someone who can help you.


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Re: Confused - January 9th 2011, 12:47 AM

Don't do it...

You don't know why you want to. That's because there's no reason to. You shouldn't. And it's bad for you. Look down this list until you find something that you think would be stress relieving for you. I get by some days stabbing an orange. And that's much healthier than cutting.

Also, it's almost definitely a bad thing that your boyfriend is hitting you. Even if you don't think anything of it... a lot of the time, it's how abusive relationships begin. I don't want to be too blunt, harsh, or paranoid, but you might want to think about breaking it off before things get out of hand.

You're strong. Please don't cut. You can get past it.


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Re: Confused - January 9th 2011, 03:20 AM

It doesn't sound like your boyfriend is the best person for you to be with.
You're only 15 sweetheart, you do not and will never deserve to be treated like that.
I've had that before with self-harm and I think there are many reasons,
for me it was that I was 'controlling the pain' and afterwards I got to 'make it better'


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Re: Confused - January 9th 2011, 10:05 AM

I'm not really sure what i'm feeling anymore, i like him alot and i know if i break up with him it will all happen again and i will come off worse. I can't look at the bruises now without a really strong urge to self harm.


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Re: Confused - January 9th 2011, 02:06 PM

Why do you like someone who hurts you? Honey he's abusive. You need to know you deserve hapiness and safety. You need to get away from this guy before he hurts you again.


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Re: Confused - January 9th 2011, 05:07 PM

He can be amazing, its only if i start being moody, so it's technically my fault. So maybe i do deserve it


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Re: Confused - January 9th 2011, 07:11 PM

You are only human. You have emotions. You say things you shouldn't sometimes. That does NOT mean you deserve to be hit and bruised. He doesn't deserve to have you if he hurts you. He's not a safe person for you to be around. He is at fault in this. You don't deserve to be hurt.


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Re: Confused - January 10th 2011, 03:13 PM

I suppose its his way of showing emotion towards me, the same as i self harm. It may be his way of dealing with things and maybe i should be understanding but i don't see how i can be.


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Re: Confused - January 12th 2011, 06:53 PM

You shouldn't be understanding of abuse. You know he's wrong to treat you that way. You have to get out of thar situation for your own good <3


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Re: Confused - January 13th 2011, 03:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlotte1995 View Post
He can be amazing, its only if i start being moody, so it's technically my fault. So maybe i do deserve it
No.
Just... no.
That is NOT true.
Blair is right--you do NOT deserve to be hurt. By anyone. You shouldn't put up with that anymore.
What you just said is SO typical of abuse cases it's not even funny. It is NOT YOUR FAULT. Being "moody" does NOT justify abuse. Ever.

You need to get out of that relationship. Like, right now. Talk to someone. Anyone. Your parents, a counselor, a teacher, ANYONE that can do something. You have time to get out. Please, PLEASE, do so. You are fifteen. Don't let him mess up your life like this.
It's not fair for you to be going through something like this, love. It's not fair for ANYONE.



   
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Re: Confused - January 13th 2011, 03:38 AM

Charlotte... you don't deserve to be abused, period. No matter how amazing he can be.

I'll repeat it. You don't deserve to be abused. No matter what.

Please, try to get out of this.


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Black, white, gay, straight, bisexual. Whether you are smart or quiet or impossibly in love with your best friend, someone out there cherishes your smile and gets butterflies when you walk into a room.

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