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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
nsps Offline
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Name: nicole
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Red face my boyfriend is helping me - February 26th 2009, 09:00 PM

im trying not to do it anymore... my "boyfriend" ask me to stop and im doing it for him... i really love him and the last time i do it was about 2 weeks ago... sometimes i cant think in anything else and im afraid Ill start again and let him down...


I'll eather find a way or make one...
---><---
con lo que me cuesta querer solo al rato mejor no te quiero sera mas barato...
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: my boyfriend is helping me - February 26th 2009, 09:06 PM

Hey, that's really cool. I'm in pretty much the same situation and I'm finding it difficult, but it sounds like a good decision for you, and I'm glad he cares about you so as to support you like that. (:
I wish you the best
xxx
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: my boyfriend is helping me - February 26th 2009, 09:06 PM

Hey Nicole. I'm glad that you're working on quitting, that's great! One thing you do need to keep in mind is that SH is an addiction, just like smoking or drinking. It isn't something that you can overcome easily, but you CAN overcome it.

Two weeks is really great, that's a wonderful achievement. You need to remember though that you probably will have some slip ups. Not many people can just quit one day and be done with it. The important thing is to keep trying, even if you do fall a couple times, just get back up and keep trying.

Also, maybe you could look through the distractions threads in this forum, there might be something in there that can help you.

Good Luck! Feel free to PM me anytime you need anything.

Stay strong


~Cody

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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: my boyfriend is helping me - February 26th 2009, 09:19 PM

thanks... still, if i do it again i know i will fell even worse (not only about SH but about leting him down)... hes not really my boyfriend but we have been dating, hes more like my best friend (with privileges) and hes really cool, he found about me SH out in a pool party and from that moment he has been there for me, he even told me that if i had the urge of doing it i have to call him even if it is 4 in the morning and he will help me over come it... so yeah he is helping alot... mmm think his saving me from my self (he's helping me to stop smoking too) he have been my angel


sorry about my english


I'll eather find a way or make one...
---><---
con lo que me cuesta querer solo al rato mejor no te quiero sera mas barato...
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: my boyfriend is helping me - February 27th 2009, 04:29 PM

Hi Nicole =].... its good that you have your boyfriend as support.. it always helps when someone is on your side. talk to him when you feel the urge, he wil help you through this
take care and be safe =]
xx
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: my boyfriend is helping me - February 28th 2009, 12:43 AM

Heya Nicole.

Giving up for someone else isn't always the best thing to do. They may think that it's the best thing for you but the only way you can quit is if YOU want to. If you do decide that then of course you have your boyfriend there for you to support you, but don't feel bad if you slip up, it's natural for that to happen. Trying to break away from something that has been a big part of your life doesnt come easy, don't let yourself feel like you're letting anyone down, we all have blips, we just need to pull ourselves back together and start again.
I didn't get to where I am today without slip-ups, and it's only now that I WANT to quit that things are working out for me.

2 weeks is great by the way, you're doing great

x
   
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Re: my boyfriend is helping me - February 28th 2009, 01:26 AM

Hi Nicole,

I always believe that you can't quit anything without support and someone there for you when ever you need them. However, i know you have said you want to do this for him, but it will be so much easier to quit something that you want to quit for you (not anyone else). I know it sounds harsh, and I'm sorry for that, but I am talking from experience. I tried to quit something for my best mate and I couldn't do it because I didn't want to quit for me; also I was really close to someone who was addicted to smoking and I could see a great change in them and they tried to stop because it hurt me and not matter how much they wanted to quit for me they couldn't (because they were quitting for me and not themselves). Stick to it and I'm sure you'll suceed and you boy friend will stick by you no matter what.

When quitting anything you need to think of the negative that thing had/has and the positive to encourage you to continue quitting (in this case I would use the lenght of time you have quitted for and then positive effect this has/had on you and anything else it has effected positively.

Hope this helps/helped you.
Nici x
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: my boyfriend is helping me - February 28th 2009, 01:35 PM

Its good he is there to support you and he cares about you but an addiction you need to give up for yourself no one else,becasue not only can it hamper the relationship it isnt really helping the reaosns behind it.

I understand everyone is different but if your not doing it becasue you feel you will let him down,how is he going to feel when you do?
you need to do it for yourself,you should see someone or talk to someone who can give you real help and advice closer to home and let him know that although you understand he is there so support you and he cares about you its something you must do for yourself and no one else.

you have to think of it from the angle what if he wasnt there?you need to support yourself and look after yourself before you can do that for anyone else

pm if you want to chat further
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Smile Re: my boyfriend is helping me - February 28th 2009, 01:52 PM

It is great that you have surpport but you can't just quit for him you have to quit for yourself to because you don't your more likely to slip up. Keep on trying
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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: my boyfriend is helping me - February 28th 2009, 08:29 PM

Its great that your trying to stop and we all need the support, i'm pretty much in the same situation right now.
good luck xx
   
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