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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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taxs29 Offline
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Exclamation Cutting - January 16th 2011, 04:41 AM

How do i stop my friend from cutting her self i dont want her to hurt her self but i dont know how to help her does anybody got any advice??????
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Re: Cutting - January 17th 2011, 12:04 AM

Show her some alternatives here i'll give you a link and you can print out the list and suggest it to your friend.

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Cutting - January 17th 2011, 03:49 AM

Hey taxs29,

I have a friend who came on TeenHelp four years ago for the exact same reason as you, to get help for his (then-)girlfriend.

DEFINITELY show her the list that Kelly posted. It's a very good one.

Also, if you can, try to find out why she cuts. You can't fight something if you don't understand it. It's much easier to defeat it if you know what makes it tick. So go find out what makes it tick, and try to get rid of it.

Show her how much she means to you, and how much you hurt that she cuts. Let her know that she's loved, and that you're trying to help her.

Something I know I would be strong enough to do, but might be inadvisable, is to promise her that every time she cuts, you cut too. This might sound like a horrible ultimatum, but speaking purely in terms of effectiveness... it does work.

Good luck, to both of you.

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Re: Cutting - January 17th 2011, 06:59 PM

Hey their, it's great for your friend that she has someone like you in her life that cares. As kelly and Fred have said I would definitley show her that list. Also, their isn't always a ton you can do for self harmers. Just be there for her and let her know she can always come to you. One method that actually did work for me was the butterfly project, with butterflies drawn on by those closest to me.

Like Fred mentioned I would see if you could find her reasons and any possible triggers. If you can help her to avoid all triggers and remind her that you love her and care about her. Let her know that she isn't only hurting herself but others too when she cuts. It may make her feel a bit guilty, but it helps. Hope I helped and best of luck
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Re: Cutting - January 17th 2011, 07:18 PM

I don't think you can actively stop her yourself, just be there for her. Let her know that you'll be there to support her when she needs it. If you want to perhaps offer to let her ring or text you whenever she feels the need to do it?

Also, she may not appreciate this but telling someone about it could help. Is there a teacher or another adult you could go to that you trust enough to help?

Or you could refer her to this site if you think that would help
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Re: Cutting - January 17th 2011, 10:55 PM

Giving her that list is a really really good start.
Your friend has to make the decision to stop on her own; cutting can be an addiction, and the only way to break a addiction for good is if you have the will to.
Let your friend know you're there for her, and let her know just how much it hurts you that she hurts herself. Sometimes people cut because they don't think they have any other outlet for the pain; let your friend know she has an outlet in you, and if she ever needs to talk you're willing to talk.
If her cutting progresses and you're still worrying; don't continue to try to solve it on your own. Go to a school counselor or your friends parents or yours. Your friend might need more help than you can offer.
Good luck hon <3

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Re: Cutting - January 18th 2011, 12:14 AM

it's really hard to talk someone out of cutting, but just do your best. you need her to know you're there for her and that she's stronger than that. show her new ways to cope. personally, i had promised a bunch of people i'd stop, but i stopped when people i cared about begged me to stop. it's not easy. just by being there for her and making SURE she knows that. the only reason i started was because i felt like i had no one to talk to. it was usually because something went wrong with my mom and she'd have my phone so i couldn't talk to friends, or if i had my phone i didn't think anyone was there fo rme. that's the most important thing.

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Re: Cutting - January 18th 2011, 05:22 AM


Does she know that you know about her cutting? If she doesn't know, then you need to sit down with her and tell her how concerned you are about her. Let her know that you are always there whether she needs to talk, rant, etc.
Showing her this site is also a fabulous idea.

Take care,
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