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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
mIssIng:nO Offline
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I did it again - January 22nd 2011, 06:03 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't even know how long, atleast 9 months since the last time i cut and now i have 2 huge gashes on my legs that arent even bandaged

why am i such a fuck up
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Re: I did it again - January 22nd 2011, 06:37 AM


Going any length of time - let alone nine months - without self harm is an accomplishment in itself. This is just a slip-up; most people have them, and as long as you don't let them get you down, recovery is still possible.

First off, it's important to take care of cuts you have. Here's some first aid information if you're interested. I know proper first aid care may be the last thing you want to provide yourself, but it's really best you do. If you're unsure, it's always best to see a doctor.

Second, you're not f-k up. This doesn't make you stupid, or weak, or anything like that. It happened, and making yourself feel worse afterwards isn't going to help.

Do you want to talk about what happened here? Why did you feel the need to hurt yourself? What triggered it? How can you deal with it?

I hope you feel better soon.

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Re: I did it again - January 22nd 2011, 07:18 AM

Hey first of all i want to say 9 months is brilliant and well done!
You not a fuck up, everyone slips up, but you have to look at what triggered you and then try to help yourself not do it again. Did you try any alternatives? Do you know what triggered you to do it?
Also you need to clean and bandage your leg so it doesn't get infected as Chess said if you unsure or its really bad you should see a doctor.
Feel free to PM me if you want/need to talk
Take care

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Re: I did it again - January 22nd 2011, 11:52 AM

Hey. I hope you're okay right now.

Nine months is freaking amazing! Job well done! I know it might feel right now that you fucked it all up and you threw everything away, but you DIDN'T. Because you can keep going! Yes, you had ONE bad day. ONE. One out of NINE MONTHS. If you ask me, that's pretty damn impressive. No one ever said recovery is perfect, that people don't slip up and that it's not "okay" to slip up. It IS okay... as long as you get back on your feet and keep trying.

As Chess and Charlotte said, you might want to treat the wounds so they don't get infected.

If you want to talk about why you felt like cutting or what triggered you, my PM box is always open. Stay strong, because you're AWESOME! <3

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Re: I did it again - January 22nd 2011, 01:02 PM

It's because you're not a fuck up. You went longer without a relapse than I did (my new streak only sits at one day). Don't get down on yourself if you're still in a situation that triggers you honestly 9 months is amazing, I only went 4 before deciding I needed to carve "Pride" into my arm the other night.
If you focus on the positive i.e. "[You]'ve gone 8 hours -> 12 hours -> one day -> two days without 'SH'ing then you'll be right back on track. Honestly I first had to quit by incrementing myself until football season started and I was able to channel my aggression/ control issues into the guy across from me.
It's a long, hard road to quitting and just because you trip and fall doesn't mean you're starting back at zero.
Best of luck! (and ditto on the whole message me if you need to talk about it more everyone's posting above)
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