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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Nicole26 Offline
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Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 02:22 PM

I've finally plucked up the courage to tell my school guidance teacher on Monday bout my cutting and depression, as long as she won't tell my parents that is. Just wondering how I should go about it. how do u explain stuff like this, I've never talked to anyone face to face about it before. Please help, how should I tell her?


Sometimes...
you just need to...
Runaway...
To see who will follow you.


It's not easy to reply to "are you okay?" when you can't remember what okay feels like...
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 02:23 PM

Just be open and honest and tell her as much as you feel comfortable too. If you feel you can't do it face to face, you could try writing a letter to her about it.


Come on boys, come on girls
In this crazy, crazy world
Youíre the diamonds, youíre the pearls
Letís make a new tomorrow
Come on girls, come on boys
Itís your future, itís your choice
And your weapon is your voice
Letís make a new tomorrow
Today
follow me please. I'll follow back. http://photographicjournal.tumblr.com/
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 02:26 PM

Okay thanks hmmm never thought bout a letter I might do that rather than trying to talk at first it just telling main parts that I think I'll struggle with. Thank you!


Sometimes...
you just need to...
Runaway...
To see who will follow you.


It's not easy to reply to "are you okay?" when you can't remember what okay feels like...
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 02:30 PM

First off, I am very proud of you for reaching out for help. That is a hard, but in the end very rewarding thing to do.

I too struggle with depression, and have my own form of self harm. However I was able to tell my boyfriend about it, and he helps me through the bad times.

My best advice for telling someone is to sit down, and write it out. Write out everything you can think of. Maybe start from the beginning? After all, many times it is the best place to start. But honestly, it doesn't matter where you start. Just so long as you write out how you feel, and you tell him/her what you need to know.

Then, put it in an envelope and seal it. That way you can't take it back out and try to change it. (Believe me, with my problems I wanted to do that so bad it wasn't even funny.) Don't hesitate to give it them. I know that it will be hard, but its worth it.

You can even give it to them before your appointment. That way they can read it before hand, and you don't have to be there while they are reading it.

I know that this is a very hard thing to do, but stand strong. I believe in you. You can do this.

Good luck, and I am very proud of you.

Feel free to PM me anytime, and make sure to let us know how everything goes.

Take care dear. =]





   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 02:54 PM

Thanks I've written it out now just getting it seal now I'm so nervous an it feels silly and now I doubting myself whereth she will listen about not telling my parents. What if she thinks I'm just trying to get attention or somethig?? Panicing


Sometimes...
you just need to...
Runaway...
To see who will follow you.


It's not easy to reply to "are you okay?" when you can't remember what okay feels like...
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 03:02 PM

Take some deep breaths. You've done the right thing.

Seal it shut, and put it somewhere safe until you can give it to her.

If she is a good guidance teacher, then she will not think that you are just trying to get attention. She should be able to tell that.

I know that this is scary, but it is important.

It may not seem like it at first, but this is your first step to becoming better. I know that it's hard, but think about that for a minute. It's your first step to feeling better. To being happy again.

It truly is an amazing thing.

You can do this dear. I have faith in you. Take some deep breaths, put the letter somewhere safe, and try to relax. =]





   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 03:35 PM

Okay I have. Just if this doesn't work I have nothing else I just want to get therapist or summing and I'm worried shell talk to me about it once then that will be it I can't explain things well and I just can't explain how depressed I feel.


Sometimes...
you just need to...
Runaway...
To see who will follow you.


It's not easy to reply to "are you okay?" when you can't remember what okay feels like...
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 03:39 PM

Have you ever thought about keeping a journal? Perhaps writing down even how you feel right now?

I've personally never been to an actual therapist (Just people at my church and family members and my boyfriend) but I've heard that sometimes keeping a journal is a good thing with them. Like, then you can write down exactly how you are feeling about something, or like even this. How you are worried about her only talking to you about it once, or her telling your parents, or stuff like that. You know? Then you don't have to explain it. You can just choose to let her read your journal.

I think that writing is an amazing thing. It helps us to say things that we can't say aloud. And when it come to things like depression and hurting, writing can sometimes be almost therapeutic.




   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 03:45 PM

So should I write it down and hand it to her on Monday as well as the note ??


Sometimes...
you just need to...
Runaway...
To see who will follow you.


It's not easy to reply to "are you okay?" when you can't remember what okay feels like...
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 03:47 PM

You can yes. =] It may help.

Like I said, I suggest starting a journal. Just write whenever you feel down, or anxious or anything. Write how you feel. Then you can decide what you want her to read, and tell her where its at, or you can just have her read the whole thing. Its completely up to you.

But you may find that writing your feelings helps you to feel better too. =]




   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 03:56 PM

I used to keep a journal well still have it but I hate it now because I have no way to get rid of it and my parents started searching my room the other day.


Sometimes...
you just need to...
Runaway...
To see who will follow you.


It's not easy to reply to "are you okay?" when you can't remember what okay feels like...
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 04:27 PM

:/ I'm sorry to hear about that. Is there any special hiding places that you can keep one in? Oh perhaps, is the computer you are on right now yours? Maybe you could keep your diary on the computer. There are ways of hiding folders and such on computers. My boyfriend has shown me how before.




   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 04:30 PM

I'm on iPod so yeah I could. Ugh I tried it once on my home computer and my dad searched through whole thin cause thought was acting weird haha they're so annoying


Sometimes...
you just need to...
Runaway...
To see who will follow you.


It's not easy to reply to "are you okay?" when you can't remember what okay feels like...
   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 05:02 PM

They probably can just tell that you are going through a difficult time, and since you don't talk to them about it the feel they have to snoop to find out.

I know it sounds crazy, and probably a little scary, but have you considered telling them about your problems and how you feel? They may be able to help you.

I'm not saying go out and do it right now, I'm just saying that it may be something to consider....




   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 22nd 2011, 07:46 PM

I've cosidered it a lot but no I can't tell them they never listen and when they do they say is wrong and it's all in my head and tbh they're right but not what they were meaning


Sometimes...
you just need to...
Runaway...
To see who will follow you.


It's not easy to reply to "are you okay?" when you can't remember what okay feels like...
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 23rd 2011, 02:21 AM

Nicole, I live in the middle of nowhere in Canada and I'm not even a citizen so it's taken me over a year to get any sort of help. What I've found works best is to just list every stupid, messed up thing that you hate about your life and how you act. (can't feel anything, just want to constantly sleep, can't eat, don't want to do/ take pleasure out of anything etc and how all of this magically goes away when you pop out that little razor blade)
You might not have the exact same sort of problems that was just me personally. I live the letter idea this is just a suggestion of what to put in it and i can almost promise you that you'll get the help you need.
Best of luck!!! PM if you need
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  (#17 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 23rd 2011, 08:22 PM

Thanks Jake you really helped keep my hopes up for tomorrow. Just ten hours or so till I hand it in. Have you or anyone else had experience talkin to guidance teachers bout self harming? Really worried


Sometimes...
you just need to...
Runaway...
To see who will follow you.


It's not easy to reply to "are you okay?" when you can't remember what okay feels like...
   
  (#18 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 24th 2011, 03:25 PM

Hey quick update. Handed letter in. But guidance teacher didn't come see me.:/


Sometimes...
you just need to...
Runaway...
To see who will follow you.


It's not easy to reply to "are you okay?" when you can't remember what okay feels like...
   
  (#19 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 25th 2011, 01:50 AM

First off, I am very proud of you for turning in that letter. I'm sure that it was hard, but you did it! =D

Secondly, what do you mean the teacher didn't come see you?

Do you not have a scheduled time with her? Maybe you will see her tomorrow?




   
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 25th 2011, 04:50 AM

Well i would say tell the person you are most confortible talking with first of all, then after slowly start telling them and if you feel like you can talk anymore then stop. Atleast you gave it your best shot then try again when ever you are ready.

Good luck


The Stars Are Allways There But We Miss Them In The Darkened Clouds. We Miss Them In The Storms. Tell Them To Remember Hope. We Have Hope.
   
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 25th 2011, 05:18 AM

Unfortunately I'm not sure how to help you since our school doesn't have those sort of counselors, i go through a private family services agency.
It might help to, i'm not saying feign, but be/ act very confused and a little scared about why you really do it.
"I don't know, it just helps/makes me feel in control (insert your own personal reasons here)."
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 25th 2011, 07:00 PM

She came and seen me today I have to see her for 30 mins every weekday and if I don't get anybetter. In few weeks she will recommend me to counselling just she said she might have to tell my parents if I don't get a little better. Thanks for replies


Sometimes...
you just need to...
Runaway...
To see who will follow you.


It's not easy to reply to "are you okay?" when you can't remember what okay feels like...
   
  (#23 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 25th 2011, 10:54 PM

Awesome- COngratulations!
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 26th 2011, 12:39 AM

I am very glad to hear this. =]

You are on the road to recovery! =D




   
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 26th 2011, 06:49 PM

Yeah though today I felt weird talking to her I didn't wanna tell her my problem I didn't want her to know anymore. Now I'm stuck with it I feel worse than ever today


Sometimes...
you just need to...
Runaway...
To see who will follow you.


It's not easy to reply to "are you okay?" when you can't remember what okay feels like...
   
  (#26 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help on telling people? - January 27th 2011, 01:02 AM

Hey Nicole.

I just want to say, I think you've made amazing progress already. Just to have come this far is an achievement in itself.

Talking to someone about things that are very personal for you - like self harm - isn't going to be easy. I'm not saying that to discourage you; it's just to give you a realistic idea of what it will be like. Opening up about things like this probably isn't something you're used to; it may be scary, or uncomfortable, or even confusing. No one expects you to spill your deepest secrets right away. It's a process, and it will take time.

What I'm trying to say is, yes, it will feel weird at first. That doesn't mean it's not going to help or that you shouldn't do it. Most people are a little reluctant to open up at first; it requires stepping out of your comfort zone, and doing something that could make you feel vulnerable. There's nothing wrong with that.

I'd advise you just to give it some time. Don't expect miracles, but try not to block her out either. She just wants to help, and the more you tell her, the better she can do that.

Good luck.


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