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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
lovablebreynerd Offline
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I can't stop... - January 22nd 2011, 04:01 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I can't stop cutting.. It's so addictive like a drug.. When i feel that blade kissing my skin and I see that crimson everywhere.. It is such a rush.. It's not like anything else I've done... If anything bad happens all i have to do is feel that blade in the back of my pocket and it instantly calms me... I try to hide my scars from everyone but how can you hide a secret when it's written all over your body?


Cry the tears
Feel the sting
See the red
Forget everything

Ignore the hurt
Embrace the pain
When all hope is gone
The scars remain

Last edited by Counted Heart.; January 24th 2011 at 06:50 AM. Reason: Adding triggering prefix
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I can't stop... - January 22nd 2011, 04:12 PM

Sounds like cutting has become a habit to do all the time when something had happens. Firstly do you want to stop?

I've been hiding my scars for ages but no mater what u do they will be noticed eventually whether u tell truth it's up to u personally I don't. But I always wear long sleeved jumpers and tops if I can and try to go shopping alone as my mum usually suggests getting me to try short sleeve things. Ever heard of bio oil? it can really help scars if used continuously to make them fade.

Let me know if u need more help, and if those options were any use to you.



Sometimes...
you just need to...
Runaway...
To see who will follow you.


It's not easy to reply to "are you okay?" when you can't remember what okay feels like...
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I can't stop... - January 22nd 2011, 05:10 PM

Hi, as Nicole said, it sounds like a habit when anything bad happens or something goes wrong. You need to find alternatives, cutting is bad for you and does more damage than good. As you said it leaves scars which are hard to cover, i find it hard to cover mine in the summer, it may feel sometime like it helps but it won't in the long run.
PM me if you want/need to talk


'Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics'



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RIP Peter <3
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I can't stop... - January 23rd 2011, 01:01 AM

i do want to stop... and i've tried... so hard but it doesnt work... I always always come back..


Cry the tears
Feel the sting
See the red
Forget everything

Ignore the hurt
Embrace the pain
When all hope is gone
The scars remain
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I can't stop... - January 23rd 2011, 02:09 AM

What eventually happens is it stops working, and you have to go deeper and deeper and more often. I was at the point where I would physically beat myself and I even tried to break my hand to get that same rush from the pain. Hit something, anything, whenever you want to cut. Hit it and just keep going until you're absolutely exhausted then go and make yourself a cup of tea or talk to a friend.
Best of luck, PM me if you still need help.
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I can't stop... - January 23rd 2011, 01:58 PM

I agree with Jake, it will eventually stop working and you will end up hurting yourself more to get the same effect. Or you will become addicted and it will become out of control Don't stop with the alternatives, you will eventually find one that works.
PM me if you need anything


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I can't stop... - January 23rd 2011, 02:25 PM

First of all I think admin should probably mark this thread as triggering, I know it sent a twitch through me when I read it.

Have no doubt that this can be incredibly addictive.
That you always feel like you come back to cutting is no reason to stop trying to give up . Relapses are unfortunate but not entirely unexpected.
I'm sure you don't need telling about the damage, unlike with many other addictions the damage from self harm is very evident and quite graphic.

In regards to Jakes idea of stress relief I would elaborate on this with the suggestion that what ever you choose to hit is soft (mattress, rolled up bed sheets or indeed a punch bag if you happen to have one close to hand), materials that will splinter, shatter or provide great resistance (i.e bricks) is not at all advisable. You can cripple your fingers by damaging the nerves around the knuckles so be careful.

How ever there is a large list of alternatives that do not involve as much effort.
I know the method that worked for me (because I'm lazy) is that I'd procrastinate. When ever I felt crap I would check the news or some thing, just put off cutting till later, and then till later again, until I no longer felt the urge as strong.

The vast majority of people here will have shared similar or worse experiences with self harm, not always cutting. As a result they can sympathise with what you are feeling feel free to message me, you will struggle to find a time that I'm not online.


The better part of valour is discretion - Shakespeare

We are punished by our sins, not for them - Elbert Hubbard

Last edited by Ontheverge; January 23rd 2011 at 02:33 PM.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I can't stop... - January 24th 2011, 07:15 PM

I agree with Ontheverge, procrastinating is a good idea to try :-)


'Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics'



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RIP Peter <3
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I can't stop... - January 26th 2011, 02:39 AM

i mean i do have other things to relieve the pain... i like to write poems and stories and sing but cutting is the strongest urge i have ever had.. ive tried hitting once, i even hit a mirror but it still wasnt enough.. i tried scratching and i even tried sticking lead into my skin it just wasnt enough anymore... nothing is... once i got a taste of cutting... of seeing the blood run down my arm... nothing and no one could stop me not even myseld


Cry the tears
Feel the sting
See the red
Forget everything

Ignore the hurt
Embrace the pain
When all hope is gone
The scars remain
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I can't stop... - January 26th 2011, 04:06 AM

Well you can try taking red marker and marking were you want to cut, you can make your own ice and use food coloring that's red and put it in the water and let it freeze and you can mark were you want to cut with that or you can snap a rubber band against your wrist but you want to stop cause soon or later your going to cut so deep that you will have to get medical help. No one on teen help want you to do this so you can always talk to someone like me or anyone! But sometimes venting when you have urges to cut help or just talking to someone when you want to cut. Hope this helps Megan<3
Ps. I know what your going through I'm the same age as you and I've gone through before so please please keep me updated and We all CARE for you!
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I can't stop... - January 28th 2011, 02:25 AM

It's hard to keep a secret when it's written all over your body...so you've read willow? I'm reading it right now and it's really good. Anyhow, it's addictive as hell. The feeling, the act...all of it, but if you wanna stop you need to stop trying to keep the secret from the people who could help you


Just Keep Breathing
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I can't stop... - January 28th 2011, 03:38 AM

You want to quit, so... The biggest question is this:

When you tried to quit, did you just tell yourself you wanted to quit? Or did you actually believe in yourself?

I know for years I told myself that I would stop. Week after week, it was like "Oh, just once more. Oh, I'll quit, I really should." Since cutting is an extreme addiction, you really have to 100% believe in yourself when you try to quit. I'm not necessarily saying that you won't get the urges, because even months to years after people quit, they still get urges. But you have to relax and free yourself of them in a non harmful way. Trust me. You'll realize that the amazing feeling of being clean from it is so much more satisfying than actually doing it. It's an achievement, to be able to tell yourself and maybe even at some point to others, that you have overcome one of the biggest struggles you will ever face --- yourself.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I can't stop... - January 29th 2011, 02:10 PM

its hard to stop something ive been doing since i was five... i tell myself everyday that i will stop, that i will be normal and get better but the reality is i wont... and if i ever do ill just relasp and start cutting again... the urge is too strong for me to handle.... im trying not to be stubborn and hard headed and listen to your guys and advice... i really am but i guess i just dont believe in myself as much as i used to...


Cry the tears
Feel the sting
See the red
Forget everything

Ignore the hurt
Embrace the pain
When all hope is gone
The scars remain
   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I can't stop... - January 29th 2011, 05:06 PM

Here's the thing. Everyone always tells us all to just stop right away. But that's one of the things that I found to be the most harmful to myself and to some others. Believe in yourself, and slowly stop. Now, I'm not saying that you should cut, or that you shouldn't stop hurting yourself, but slowly make it to not having to use sh as a way out. Every time I tried to stop right away, I relapsed even worse. But I tried going slowly, and I only have a relapse a few times a year, which shocks me even to this day.

Think about doing the least damage to yourself possible each time you get the urge. Try it. It might work. Less is more. Each time, do less and less. It's going to be hard at first, but trust me, it does help a lot.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I can't stop... - January 29th 2011, 11:40 PM

This is what some people do to stop cutting, and well if you want to cut take a piece of paper and tape it to your arm, then take red lipstick and slice it to your arm. So you can see the marks and then take the paper off and realize, is it really worth that?


Don't judge others, if you can't judge yourself.

I don't want to live To waste another day Underneath the shadow of mistakes I made Cause I feel like I'm breaking inside I don't want to fall and say I lost it all Cause baby there's a part of me to hit the wall Leaving pieces of me behind And I feel like I'm breaking inside
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