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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
silent_one12 Offline
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Cant Stop Feeling this way.... - February 27th 2009, 04:51 PM

I am trying to find the will to stop but I can't

Its become a major addiction, finding myself doing it everyday. I am starting to think I am doing it more for attention and to see myself just bleed and doing it just for the pain, cuz it takes the other pain away.

I just found myself doing it everyday after months of not doing it ...and its just getting worse and worse. I am just not seeing in any point of stopping anymore when I feel this bad about everything that I think and whats going on in my life.

Tried going to the doctor but they didn't have any openings and I am seeing that as an omen and I don't think I would try it again because I have nothing to say to them.

Just what its the point?
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Cant Stop Feeling this way.... - February 27th 2009, 05:01 PM

Hey

Well done for coming realising you need help. & even bigger congratulations for trying to find the will to stop. That automatically gives me an idea that you would love to stop.

Your right self harm is an addiction & the more you do it, the more you need it.

Is there anyone else, you could talk too, not just about your cutting., but your life - you mentioned things were not going well in the aspect as well.

There is every point in stopping self harm. It might take a week, a month, probably longer, but every day you dont self harm, remember that its one step to recovery.

You can do it. & try to go see the doctor again, please, for your saety

Keep your chin up & stay safe

Jamie
xx


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Cant Stop Feeling this way.... - February 27th 2009, 05:07 PM

I am trying to stop...and I don't know when I called the doctor I just found that as an omen....I think thats why my SH has gotten worse is cuz I want to talk to my mom about things and I cant cuz she wont understand...A long time ago I wrote a real depressing blog talking about how I wanted to be with my grandma who died of cancer 6 yrs ago ...I was so close to her and she was like the only person I could talk to and I know she wouldnt tell my mom about anything she would help me so I dont know ...and I try to talk to my b/f but its a long distance relationship and when I do try and talk to him about it he doesnt want to hear it cuz he says I make him depressed and he is recovering from SH...I just feel right now that I have no one to trun to anymore and I been feeling alone for months and ever sense I started SH its all I think about and its been worse for the past week Ive done it 14 times in the past week and a half...I know I need help but I just dont know what I would say to the doctor....."Im psyco help me?" ...NO I cant
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Re: Cant Stop Feeling this way.... - February 27th 2009, 06:26 PM

Hey, there's no reason the doctor's being full is an omen for you or a sign not to try and get help. If you can, go to any doctor or even just a trusted adult and see if they can get you in at another office. Even if you need to wait a couple weeks to get an appointment, that just means you need to be strong and wait to see someone, keeping in mind that help IS ahead. You seem to want it, which is so important, but you have to work for it as well.

Try working on it at home by trying different alternatives, and posting on here about your life. Even if no one in your outside life seems to want to listen, we are on TH to help and be helped, so you DO have a support system. We're here for you every step of the way so keep yourself going.

Whenever you finally DO see a doctor, be honest. Tell them about your addiction and why you SH. You don't have to go in telling ppl you're 'psycho', which you're not. You need a professional opinion, though, and TH can't give you that. That's why the appointment is worth waiting for. Please don't give up on yourself- you deserve to get better!

PM me if you want to talk, I hope this helps

-marissa


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Re: Cant Stop Feeling this way.... - February 27th 2009, 07:22 PM

Having been a SHer for years I know the struggle it is and the way things come across in the worst way possible when it is just pure concidence on most occasions.i.e the docotors.
The problem is there will be times when you cant get to see anyone that isnt a omen thats just gives you a chance to try and help yourself abit more before you can find help from elsewhere from either a docotr,friend family memeber or online help.

As for talking to your mum I know its hard to just come out and say things like that becasue we feel they wont understand but the problem is if you dont try and talk to them they wont understand and therefor cant be there for you,although it may take her time ( parents loves thier child no matter what.)

Try and get rid of your blades or what you use to Sh.Try and find other ways to occupy your mind,although its not good to put your feelings aside but try and find other way to fill the urges you have and find someone you can trust and relate to too talk about the problems beingd your SH.
   
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Re: Cant Stop Feeling this way.... - February 28th 2009, 12:34 AM

Self Harm is a really hard thing to try to give up, especially as you're addicted, so no wonder why you're feeling this way. Self harm is quite like drugs, you get addicted to the feeling that it gives you, you know it's bad for you yet you dont want to miss that feeling. Giving up the self harm means giving up the good things about it too, and thats the hard thing to deal with. It's never going to be easy, it takes a LOT of willpower and strength, everyone has it inside, we just have to dig deep and find it sometimes.
Try not to see the doctor as an omen, i'm sure that there will be some time available to see them, they could just be extremely busy at the moment. As for what you're going to say, just explain how you're feeling, say you need help giving up. I'm sure that they'll understand and try to get the help for you that you need. Doctors arent meant to judge you, they're there to help you get better in the best possible way.
I'm sorry that you feel like you can't talk to anyone since your nan died, that must have been incredibly hard to deal with. I know how weird it can be to talk to your mum and know that she doesnt understand. The best you can do is just tell her what you're feeling but not necessarily telling her why, just build it up.

PM me if you need to talk.
x
   
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Re: Cant Stop Feeling this way.... - March 1st 2009, 10:45 AM

Hey hunni! First of hugs!! I know SH is a very diffcult thing to live with, i have been living with it since i was 12 and for years i suffered in silence. But one day i told my mother, she was my last hope, i told her out of sheer desperation and you know what.. she really helped, she didnt have the reaction i thought she would have had, she was very helpful and is still helping me. Maybe you should give your mom a chance.. she could surprise you! You really seem to miss your granny, its hard when someone close to you dies but that doesnt mean you have to stop talking to her, jist cos shes not here in body doesnt mean shes not looking over you [ im sorry if you dont belive in this but i fully do and it is something to smile about]. I belive that when someone close to you dies, they look over you and take care of you as best that thay can.
Give your mom a chance though, you could be very happy that you did
xx



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Just keep swimming swimming swimming - Dory from finding Nemo!!

Hold your head high princess, for tomorrow is another day.

You can do tonight without the help of a blade and wake in the morning with the feeling of accomplishment

PM me anytime, I am always here to be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to hear whats bothering you and words to make you see the hope








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