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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
TheCrowing Offline
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My six year old trigger? - January 25th 2011, 12:51 AM

I have been cutting off and on for six years now. Within the past two years, I've only had small slip ups, but the last few months, I've had more than usual. It's weird, because I think I finally realized what has been making me so anxious (Besides applying for college) and I'm not quite sure why now or how to deal with it.

Ever since I was born, I was around my uncle who smoked who knows how many packs of cigs a day. In a way, I actually liked the smell, but my asthma sucked. When I was a freshman, I started smoking with a few friends, but stopped less than a year later after my heart started giving me problems. So I haven't smoked in 3 years, but for some reason I'm feeling the relapse now. I've been craving one, but the more I hold out, the stronger other urges get. =/ So, on top of the daily bs and stress, I'm having some strange craving for something I haven't done in years, and it's been making me sick. I've been literally sick for a little less than 3 months now.

I was just wondering if anyone knows how I could overcome this? I have my own alternatives for the actual sh, but also dealing with the anxiety from not smoking is starting to wear me down a bit. Thank you.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: My six year old trigger? - January 27th 2011, 08:09 AM

My mum have been smoking for 15 years and she stopped Feb 2010. and have not smoked ever since. she sucks a substance which is called 'Nicotine' she said it really helps. So I hope I helped.


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Re: My six year old trigger? - January 27th 2011, 03:55 PM

I've never smoked, but I do self-harm in many ways. I also have severe problems with anxiety that cuts into everyday life for me. It's very hard to cope with it and deal with it, especially while trying not to let others know that something is up. I feel for you.

I don't think people are ever truely free of any addiction. It's something that will remain with us forever, but the longer we can keep away from it, the easier it will get over the years. This is not to say that it won't return from time to time. I think it's just part of the healing process.

The best thing to do is find something that replaces it. I know my aunt who has been trying to quite eats hard candy instead of reaching for a cig. She's at least been able to cut back. As for me, I've found something that has helped me a lot, and although I have not yet stopped, I'm not harming myself in such a dangerous or extreame amount. The key is to focus on something else. For me, it's my boyfriend who I stick to and who keeps me here and keeps me able to wear short sleeves. Nothing is as strong as motivation and everyone's motivation is different. You need to find something that is important to you.

For anxiety it's the same thing. You need to keep your mind buisy too. Having an idle mind, and time to think about negative things will always make it worse. For me, if my anxiety is becoming unbareable and I think about it more, I could end up having a panic attack and loosing it. Anxiety can be very overwhelming. Keep your mind doing something productive. Do not think of the negative. Keep something that motivates you. Perhaps a future goal, someone close to you, or maybe something that you just enjoy doing. Keep yourself focused on a task, stay buisy. It does help you just have to find what works for you.

Goodluck!


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"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
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Re: My six year old trigger? - January 27th 2011, 04:12 PM

Honestly, I am working on quitting smoking myself. I find that having gum or candy helps. Especially since when you have a delicious piece of candy/gum, you don't want a non-delicious cigarette.

I used to smoke almost every day, now its only 1-2 times a week, and only a couple each time, and I'm working to further reduce that until its Zero.

I also used to self-harm, but I've been free of it for over 1 1/2 months. When I feel like I'm going to hurt myself, I'll focus my energy in other ways, like listening to music, painting, tuning in to a really good TV show, drawing, making jewelry (with glass beads and stretchy cord), and if that fails, I'll call my boyfriend (if he's not over) or go to a friend's place.

The biggest help for me has been having someone support me, in this case my boyfriend. He's a non-smoker, which helps me to not smoke for sure. And also, he's been really great with helping me with my self-harm, and with taking me to my mental health appointments. He even came in with me for my Psychiatric Evaluation since I didn't want to do it alone.

So honestly, I'd suggest finding some good support and some good alternatives for both activities. Although I have my personal preferences, they may not work for you, so try around until you find something that is right for you.

It's a battle, but you're not the only one fighting it.


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Re: My six year old trigger? - January 27th 2011, 11:00 PM

I just find it aggravating and strange that it's hitting me now, and not 3 years ago. I try to stay away from my friends that smoke, and my three best friends/girlfriend are all drug/alcohol free. They don't drink, smoke, or do any of that. So it's not like I've been around it more than usual.

I know my ways of dealing with my anxiety, stress, and urges, it's just the really weird need to smoke years after I have officially stopped. I know the biggest step to getting over it is to have someone there to back me up and make sure I'm actually doing what I tell myself I'll do, but I haven't confided in someone in five years about my self harm, and when I did, said person f'ed me over. My best friends always make "emo" jokes or jokes about people who cut or slitting their wrists and what not. I find it offensive because they make fun of those kids, yet their best friend of six to eight years has been doing it for the length of the friendship and they have no clue.

They'd kill me if they knew I smoked or drank at one point. It would be worse for me than it is now.. =/

Chewing gum usually helps me, but I can't chew it forever. Aha. ^-^


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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