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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Question Again... - January 31st 2011, 07:59 PM

So, two years ago I was a regular cutter. I still have the scars on my thighs. I haven't told anyone...I guess I just never really had anyone to tell (still don't, which kinda explains what I am doing here.)
Anyway, things have been hard lately and tonight was just breaking point. After two years (cant believe I lasted that long) of self-control, I broke and cut-3 beautiful lines in my skin. I know I should feel bad. Part of me hates myself for it, but I dont know, that release and calm was worth it. I guess that leaves me stuck between guilt and desire. Which makes me miserable...I think thats why I am here. I am just really conflicted and confused. Help?
   
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Re: Again... - January 31st 2011, 11:26 PM

It sounds like you should open up to somebody. Try me (: I'm willing to listen!


Some things are beautiful because they are un-obtainable <3

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Re: Again... - February 1st 2011, 01:01 AM

Congrats on the two years. We all have our slip ups. But is it worth it in the long run? A time like this is the perfect time to show yourself that you can overcome sh and get back to being sh free.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: Again... - February 1st 2011, 02:22 AM

Hey bluekiss,

First off, I have to say that two years is a PHENOMENAL accomplishment! You should be incredibly proud of yourself for that, and I need to give you a thumbs up here for it.

With that said, I need to advise you not to go with this desire. It will lead you exactly to where it led you two years ago. And while I don't know any details about your exact situation, I can guess that it probably was a bad place, and that you definitely don't want to be back there again.

In all seriousness, self-harm is an addiction. The sooner you can stop yourself, the better.

And it sounds like you need someone to talk to. We're here for you, whenever. Always remember that.

Stay strong.


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Someone out there can't stop thinking about you. You Are Beautiful. Don't ever believe differently."

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Re: Again... - February 3rd 2011, 04:05 PM

Thanx for the support...this is the first time I have ever told ANYONE about my cutting. I have never had anyone to tell because I dont have anyone I can trust not to judge me. And also because I hate admitting that I am brokenwhich I guess I always have been. Thats why I am not surprised that I started again...it was inevitable. I couldn't even get rid of my blades, I still have them after two years and when I cut it felt like I was coming home. Its the only way I know how to deal with it and yet it makes me feel even more broken-like a never ending cycle. I never stopped being a cutter in my mind and I am afraid I never will...
   
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Re: Again... - February 4th 2011, 01:41 AM

We're not here to judge you. We are here to help you and if you need or want it, to be good friends. =]

Two years is a great accomplishment. The only way to stop the never ending cycle is to relax, stay calm, and try your hardest not to cut. The best way to get back on track to being sh free is to believe that you can stop. If you don't believe it, it won't happen. It's that simple. If you don't want to be a cutter, then tell yourself that everyday. Remind yourself that you've made it through before, you can do it again. If you do want to be a cutter... Honestly, nobody can stop you. I'll advise you that it's harder to sh than it is not to, and it definitely is not healthy behaviour, but it's really all up to you in the end.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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