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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Irinya Offline
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What is self-harm? - February 2nd 2011, 04:16 AM

I'm a little confused about the whole business, at least as it applies to me.

I mean, okay. Some cases are pretty obvious. Cutting would almost always be SH. (I do have a counterexample, though, but it's a pretty clear one.)

I'm not certain where I draw the border. For instance, sometimes I'll take my lighter, flick the flame on, and hold the metal part with my other hand until it starts to hurt. Other times I just want to hug the flame (but I never actually have, because that one actually is a bad idea).

An easy way to explain that is that I just like fire way too much. And honestly, that's totally true. I probably even have some bizarre fire fetish that I haven't discovered yet. But on another level, would that be considered SH? I mean, I'm not doing it with the intent to self-harm, though admittedly I do enjoy the burning pain. I'm a little confused.

What do you all think?


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Re: What is self-harm? - February 2nd 2011, 04:50 AM

Yes, it is. You really should stop and just maybe watch the fire. Even though you don't intend to self harm it still is


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Re: What is self-harm? - February 2nd 2011, 05:35 AM

Hey there.

If I were you, I wouldn't wonder too much with technicalities. What one person considers self harm might not be considered so by someone else. Technically, you could say that it's self harm because you're hurting yourself. But if the intent isn't to hurt yourself, you could say it isn't.

Here's something you may like to look at. Is this self harm?. It might help clear things up.

I guess what really matters is that, yes, this behaviour, whether self harm or not, is hurting you, and you should seriously consider stopping it.

Take care.


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Re: What is self-harm? - February 2nd 2011, 02:34 PM

Yes that is the way it was for me. I didnt know it was sh, it just made me feel good.

Definately check out the linK Psychic put in.

sh can take many forms. From as simple not taking care of your self to the physical harm.

Please get some help before it gets worse




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Re: What is self-harm? - February 2nd 2011, 02:43 PM

If you're doing it because it you like the feel of it, then it's self harm. If you're doing it simply because it fascinates you, then I wouldn't consider it self harm. But I suppose it all depends on your intentions. Are you doing it for relief, to feel better? Or are you doing it just because you think it's cool?

But regardless, it is a dangerous behavior, and if you are struggling it could lead to intentions of self harming. So I recommend that you look at the fire from afar rather than hurting yourself.





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Re: What is self-harm? - February 2nd 2011, 02:57 PM

I had a friend once that was playing with fire because she thought it cool. I told her she should probably stop, because it's dangerous. About 2 minutes later she caught her hair on fire. ._. Just saying.

I mean, I love fire too. I quite often light candles at night and mess around with it. But you got to know your boundaries and when it's safe, and when it's not. I would consider it self harm, because in my books it's anything you do to yourself that causes harm or pain. =/



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Re: What is self-harm? - February 2nd 2011, 04:43 PM

I would consider anything you're purposely doing to yourself to cause yourself pain Self Harm. Whether this is self harm or not it is dangerous and you should really try and stop this behavior, before it becomes worse.
   
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Re: What is self-harm? - February 3rd 2011, 12:23 AM

Thanks for the responses, guys.

I have self-harmed before (cutting), and I don't think that this even begins to approach the same thing.

I took a look at the page that Psychic linked to:

Quote:
"Self-injury, self-inflicted violence, self-injurious behavior or self-mutilation is defined as a deliberate, intentional injury to one’s own body that causes tissue damage or leaves marks for more than a few minutes which is done to cope with an overwhelming or distressing situation."
Deliberate and intentional injury, yes. Tissue damage or leaves marks for more than a few minutes? Actually, no. My fingers are none worse from being torched every day. And I'm not (or I don't think I am) doing it as a coping mechanism. I have other ways to cope that include actually burning things.

And regardless, I have no idea if I want to stop or not. On the one hand, I'm pretty sure it's harmless and won't turn into anything worse; on the other hand, it's obviously not a good thing to be doing.


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You are beautiful.

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Re: What is self-harm? - February 3rd 2011, 12:38 AM

Well, if you do it to feel the pain, thats self-harm. No matter what kind of damage it causes or doesn't cause.

Realistically, if you're hurting yourself, especially to cope with a situation, thats self-harm.


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Re: What is self-harm? - February 3rd 2011, 01:25 AM

See, that's the part I want to disagree with, and not only because it'd mean that I can no longer put "Self-harm free since 1/1/2011" in my signature.

I guess the best analogy would be a... skydiver. Obviously skydiving isn't a wholly pleasant experience. But I can only imagine that the skydiver gets some sort of intimate, powerful thrill from it. I think that's what's happening with me -- it makes more sense to my mind, anyways, given how much I love fire.

But then again, given what all of you have said... I will try to stop.


"Want to know a secret?

You are beautiful.

Black, white, gay, straight, bisexual. Whether you are smart or quiet or impossibly in love with your best friend, someone out there cherishes your smile and gets butterflies when you walk into a room.

Someone out there can't stop thinking about you. You Are Beautiful. Don't ever believe differently."

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Re: What is self-harm? - February 3rd 2011, 02:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diaminohexanoate View Post
I guess the best analogy would be a... skydiver. Obviously skydiving isn't a wholly pleasant experience. But I can only imagine that the skydiver gets some sort of intimate, powerful thrill from it. I think that's what's happening with me -- it makes more sense to my mind, anyways, given how much I love fire.
First of all, a skydiver isn't trying to hurt themselves, thus the helmets and parachutes and such. They're just looking for a thrill. If they intentionally didn't pull the chute, that'd probably be considered suicidal behaviour.

So if you were ACCIDENTALLY burning yourself while playing with a lighter, that wouldn't be self-harm. But if you intentionally do it for the pain, it would be.


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Re: What is self-harm? - February 4th 2011, 04:30 AM

Hmm.

Okay. I can see where you're coming from.

In any case, regardless of whether I agree or not, I'll try to stop. I've been told that I have a ridiculous amount of self-control, so we'll see how true that is.


"Want to know a secret?

You are beautiful.

Black, white, gay, straight, bisexual. Whether you are smart or quiet or impossibly in love with your best friend, someone out there cherishes your smile and gets butterflies when you walk into a room.

Someone out there can't stop thinking about you. You Are Beautiful. Don't ever believe differently."

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Re: What is self-harm? - February 5th 2011, 04:47 PM

Yeah, that sounds like SH if you want to talk to me u can
   
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