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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
L'espoir Offline
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I think imma cry in a minute.... - February 28th 2009, 05:01 PM

I TOLD HER i didnt want to go on holiday, what does she do? She goes and books one right away I cant do it, i cant wear short sleeves. Its too hot to wear long sleeves though. Also, i am expected to do swimming, wear a bikini etc etc.... I cant leave my sister to have to swim on her own and nobody else would do it. I absolutely cant reveal my arms though, they are covered.

One more thing, i dont feel steady enough to go. Even at home i feel really unstable. At least when im here though, i can stay in my room all the time and sit in my wardrobe... cant do that in Greece. I dont want to go. I cant cope being anywhere but home.

If i dont go though, my mum will have wasted her money and stuff and i would have to stay with my dad. I dont want to, i cant, i cant stand his house.. his gf.. her children.. all the people, its too much.

I cant take any of this its making the suicidal thoughts i was already having lots worse

argh


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I think imma cry in a minute.... - February 28th 2009, 05:14 PM

Hey Jen, don't cry. [:

I swear to you, you're going to have an amazing time in Greece. It's one of the most beautiful places I've ever been to, and if I could live anywhere, it would definitely be in Santorini, Greece. It's so beautiful, I couldn't really even concentrate on anything else, and hopefully you won't be able to either. I really encourage you to step out of your comfort zone on this one; that is the only way that I, as a person and a dancer, have grown in each area. This is how we all grow--we go through experiences that we aren't necessarily completely comfortable with, like speaking in front of a class, but at the end of the day, they make us stronger. Obviously, it depends on the situation, but in this case, I really, really do encourage you to go. I know there's a thread at the top of this forum about hiding scars. I'll find that for you...[Cover Up Tips]. Good luck. Have fun with it, Jenn.



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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I think imma cry in a minute.... - February 28th 2009, 05:30 PM

Hey Jenn, i had the exact same problem last march, and i was dreading going so much, but i had 3 months to reduce my sh and use lots of bio-oil on my exsisting scars, and ended up having such a good holiday. so maybe you could use this as your motivation to stop cutting? Definatly look at the link Katrina gave you for cover up tips, and keep a copy of the alternatives thread with you when you feel like self harming. Just keep the thought of you in your head, of yourself wearing a bikini with confidence, not worrying about how your scars look, in (agreed with katrini) such a beautiful place.

Take care!
Pm me if you need anything x


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"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though Iíve been in dark places, Iíve survived and learned and become stronger".




   
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Re: I think imma cry in a minute.... - February 28th 2009, 05:32 PM

Jen!
Greece, is just wonderful. My sister and her friends vacationed there for a few weeks and absolutely LOVED it! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, don't hold yourself back! As Katrina said, you will love Greece, give it a chance and just focus on its beauty. As for covering it up, I have a few suggestions.
For just walking around:
-loose long sleeved shirts (the flowy ones that are super light)
- three quarter length shirts (if that helps at all)
-Stop cutting immediately- put scar cream on the scars and neosporin on the non-healed ones

For swimming:
-Invest in a sunshirt:
http://skin-savers.com/images/links/...rt_120x220.jpg

That's an example of one, they are becoming popular too so you wouldnt be alone. Basically its a shirt that is light and of bathing suit material that protects you from the harsh sun. Plus its long sleeved... so look up on it perhaps. LLbean maybe? Thunder has them I believe.

Jen, you will love Greece, try to look forward to it, it's a wonderful wonderful opportunity. Ever seen Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants? If so, remember how gorgeous Greece was!!! <3

Take care,
-Amy


   
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Re: I think imma cry in a minute.... - February 28th 2009, 06:10 PM

I have been to Greece already. The stuff on cover ups wont work for me, because i have cuts all round both my arms from my wrists to my elbows and i cant stop cutting myself and i dont want to wear a bikini anyway cos im fat and ugly etc... I cant wear long sleeves all the time and we would be sharing rooms so i cant. My mum wouldnt even buy me any of that stuff, and i have no money myself. I cant do it i know it i just cant do any of it


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Re: I think imma cry in a minute.... - February 28th 2009, 06:47 PM

Does your mum know about you self harming?

And why not try board shorts and a long sleeved kaftan top over a bikini top.
or maybe you could even swim in a cheap light-weight long sleeved top and say its for sun protection and then when you get out of the pool swap into the kaftan top.

Lightweight long tops arent uncommon abroad, so its not like your going to stand out.

Anddd Jen, try the scar reduction. Bio-oil is like £8 and goes a long long way,
or cocoa butter is about £3 from boots or superdrug etc

its worth the try right?
xx


Lauren

"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though Iíve been in dark places, Iíve survived and learned and become stronger".




   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I think imma cry in a minute.... - March 1st 2009, 10:29 AM

Hey Jen! First off hugs and dont cry hun, things will be ok! Greece is an AMAZING place, i went there a few years ago and was sooo taken by the beauty of it, i forgot about my problems, it was like i left my home for a few weeks and i left my problems there to. There is a forum here full of cover up tips, I think Katrina already gave you the link to it, check it out! While i was there what i do to cover my scars was to put some waterproof foundation on them [ the ones the werent fresh of course] and i stopped SHing for the the week or so before i left so that there were no new ones, it was hard not to do it but it was worth it when i arrived in greece. Check out the alternatives thread in this forum to, there are some really good ones.
Keep your chin up hun, it will be ok!
PM me anytime =]
xx



The lord says 'before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart'

Jeremiah 1.5

Just keep swimming swimming swimming - Dory from finding Nemo!!

Hold your head high princess, for tomorrow is another day.

You can do tonight without the help of a blade and wake in the morning with the feeling of accomplishment

PM me anytime, I am always here to be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to hear whats bothering you and words to make you see the hope








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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I think imma cry in a minute.... - March 1st 2009, 05:24 PM

Thanks for the ideas guys, but my problem is i have no money... im not trusted with it anymore.... and my mum wont buy me stuff


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Re: I think imma cry in a minute.... - March 1st 2009, 08:01 PM

Do you have any friends who would be willing to lend you some money? Then if your mom asks "Where did you get that?" Say you've found it hiding in your closet or under your bed and you like it or something of that sort. =)



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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I think imma cry in a minute.... - March 3rd 2009, 03:46 PM

good idea maria But i have only like 2 mates, and they think self harm is bad etc.... havent money they could lend me or anything x


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Re: I think imma cry in a minute.... - March 3rd 2009, 04:41 PM

Why don't you get a paper round or some small cafes etc employ people under the age of 16, that way you gain some independance and some money, and having a job can be a distraction, and you'd also get some money to buy some new clothes


Lauren

"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though Iíve been in dark places, Iíve survived and learned and become stronger".




   
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