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kirstenyo Offline
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Does this happen to other former sh's? - February 4th 2011, 04:54 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I haven't cut myself in a little over a year.
which is awesome, yes i know.
but i am an art student in college. i have to use so many sharp objects daily. the other night i had to cut paper with a box cutter. and i constantly use exacto knives and pencil sharpeners. i easily can close my eyes and relive a moment where i used one of those objects and invision the cut being formed on the skin.

they can be triggering, especially since my life isnt going exactly how i'd want it to right now. but i dont want to fall back on the year i've came..

i can't not use these objects. are there anythings that would help me get over these flashbacks other than stop using all the things.

"Art is anything you can get away with"- Andy Warhol
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Re: Does this happen to other former sh's? - February 4th 2011, 11:21 AM

That used to happen to me all the time when I quit cutting, and now I've started again it still happens. Everytime you feel triggered you could try telling yourself that whatever object you're using is stricly for it's designed purpose (ie. box cutters are for cutting boxes). Maybe if you kind of re-learn what sharp objects are for, you'll be able to cope with the triggers a bit easier?
Also, maybe you could try locking those sharp objects away unless you're using them, and keep the key in a different part of the house so that if the triggers did become too much, you'd have more time to stop yourself as you'd have to deliberately go and get the key and then the sharps first.
Hopefully over time you'll be able to stop associating your tools with cutting. Good luck
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Re: Does this happen to other former sh's? - February 4th 2011, 01:44 PM

Ella was right on about thinking about other uses for the objects. My art class is using exactos for our current project and it really shakes my composure. Try listing in your head every sharp object you have to use and then its most innocent use. Example: scissors - making paper snowflakes. It helps me to think of something very pure/childlike maybe nostalgic that I can associate with the object.

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Re: Does this happen to other former sh's? - February 4th 2011, 08:49 PM

As an engineering student, I do a lot of hands on projects, especially with recycled materials. So, exacto knives, box cutters, razors, blades... You name it I have to use it to build things. I do find it difficult to deal with sometimes.

I pretty much carry my exacto knife and my pocket knife with me at all times. But I carry them with me everywhere more or less to build trust with myself. I always try to remember those nights where I couldn't sleep because I felt terrible about my sh. I feel that by building trust with myself, I can also stay sh free when something really triggering happens.

You should find alternatives, or like said above, only use them or carry them when absolutely necessary. Learn to trust yourself. <3

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Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

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Re: Does this happen to other former sh's? - February 4th 2011, 09:34 PM

After two years of sh I still sometimes feel the urge, like tonight and pray to God I'll manage to fight it. When something like that happened, like a year ago, and I used a razor to shave myself I just started singing or called someone (my mum) and talked to her.
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Re: Does this happen to other former sh's? - February 5th 2011, 03:13 PM

I have that feeling every minute of every hour of every day. Like today I was watching a movie, and I saw a knife rack/holder thing and I just closed my eyes and cringed inside. It happens alot with cooking with knives and with box cutters, like you said. I agree with Blair in finding the most innocent use. Like with a knife it could be cutting a birthday cake, idk.
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Re: Does this happen to other former sh's? - February 5th 2011, 09:08 PM

Sometimes when I have a bad day, I get triggered, despite the fact I've quit for almost 2 months now. And well, if I'm ever using objects I could potentially hurt myself with, I just try to forget about anything but its purpose, as said.

Also, listening to music helps, as long as its not something I would've ever self-harmed to before, and it helps me focus on the task at hand. Maybe get a friend to do homework with as well? If you have a friend around, you'd probably be a lot less likely to relapse.

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Re: Does this happen to other former sh's? - February 6th 2011, 06:19 AM

I have been quit for more than a year and still some days i wake up and all i want to do is find some thing sharp. I have learned to deal with it by making my self go out and have many people around me to where i can't. I am relived to know i am not the only one who some times feels like loosing control


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